Monday, December 12, 2011

Trusting Me

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” 
― Maya Angelou. 

I started to write a longer, wordy post about this quote and - in the end it came down to this for me:

stop trying to make relationships work - that aren't working. 

In other words, be true to yourself by believing what you see and experience over what others tell you is real. 

When a "friend" keeps making excuses...

uh..umph....excuse me, I mean


why they 

missed your date

didn't call you back

weren't there when they said they would be there...

Or we keep experiencing the same kind of crazy that comes when we are trying to get our emotional needs met in relationships where emotions are not allowed.

Or find ourselves wondering - why does this keep happening to me?

See where I"m going with this one?

Many of us who are SRBT's* or otherwise family dysfunction or craziness often feel responsible to 

work things out...

even when it is clearly not working out.

We take on responsibility for making everyone happy, keeping the peace...


 "rocking the boat"....

often at the very high price of our own sanity as what we experience as hurtful - or even abusive - is denied or in some way minimized.

Its easy for us to believe something is "wrong" with US because SRBT's* have often been conditioned in family dysfunction or abuse to believe they are the magical, all powerful


who is in charge of keeping everyone happy

even if it means for us to be 


So today...

try on the idea of

"Be true to yourself"

just once.

Take it for a test drive and see how good it feels to walk away from those situations and relationships that 




It was when I stopped believing that when things weren't working was because I wasn't working hard enough...

that I had to figure out how to be

good enough

that I finally understood that I 

very simply



You are a rockstar...

don't believe 'em when they try to tell you otherwise - k?

Who's "they"?

Anyone who says you are anything BUT 

a Rock Star:)

Here's to ringin' those bells and rockin those boats!


ps....letting go of the hope for things to "work out" is the hardest part....honest:) Once I got past this I understood that it was this hope that held me back from my real hope for a better future.  

*SRBT's = Survivors of Really Bad Things (are amazing!)

Please consider liking and sharing:)

Always always in gratitude!  

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your (own) Truth!



Project Tara said...

Yes! :-)

Susan said...


Thank you!

Interruption said...

This post is like the universe is speaking to me. Thank you!

Susan said...

Interruption....Welcome and thank you for your note...we are all on a journey:)

Patricia Singleton said...

This is so true. When I was beginning to heal from incest, I had to look at all of the responsibilities that were given to me by my dysfunctional parents. Being the peacemaker was one of those jobs that I took on. Some part of me, even today, will consider stepping into arguments between others and making the peace. I still have to work on being true to myself so that I don't step into situations that are not mine to fix. I can't fix other people or the situations that they create. Some days I am not even sure that I can fix me.

Susan said...

Ooohhh Patricia! You've pointed out a big one!

"I had to look at all of the responsibilities that were given to me by my dysfunctional parents."

THAT is the crux of it all!

I love the way you can describe being able to identify the "normal" knee jerk reaction to get into care -taking as the family "fixer" you identify is so hard to learn to override that programming but you sure are doing it and doing it magnificently!

It is definitely a journey and not an event....we keep going don't we?

Grateful you choose to share the journey with me!