Thursday, October 17, 2013

I Found My Freedom When I Found My Power (Interdependence v.s. Dependence)

As things would have it - it is perhaps not quite time to retire this blog. I'm still not sure about the direction I'm going but I do know that my Journey is not over. 

Therefore, todays post....

For a very long time I firmly believed that my "moods" were a "disorder". 

I had been led to believe that the reason I struggled in life and relationships was not because of the pattern of trauma and abuse in my life but because there was something wrong with my brain.

What I discovered was that while this particular paradigm is the only one that we hear about most often in the context of "mental health"...

It is not the only way to view the life issues that left us feeling unprepared to deal with life on life's terms.

This brings me to this...

In a recent post (elsewhere) I responded to an article where the focus was on "managing" "symptoms" of "disorders" like depression, anxiety etc via human connection. 

This essay went on to say that this person was falling back into their anxiety and depression because on the weekends they did not have the structure they do during the week. The thing that "saved" them from falling into their dark hole was a friend who called to invite them to do something. 

The response was "you just gave me a reason to get out of bed". 

And - yes. 

We DO need human connection and love in our lives.

Yet - when we need others to "give us a reason to get out of bed" we are in fact being "dependent" vs "independent". 

And the idea that one must "live with" and "manage" "symptoms"....

Well - I see this as part of the issue with being dependent on others to do something in order for us to feel better. 

Healthy "interdependent" relationships do not depend on others to do for us that which we can and should be doing for ourselves.

If we are struggling with "symptoms" we can learn how to meet our own needs vs waiting for someone to rescue us. 

If there is "disorder" - we can create "order" - and that began for me in realizing that waiting for someone to "give me a reason to live/get out of bed/go to school etc....

Was giving my power away. 

The "Empowering Solutions" project is about us learning to take control of changing our lives v.s. needing others or circumstances to change in order for our lives to change. 

If we are feeling hopeless we can find our hope by finding our power.

Tip: if you are feeling like you are falling into that dark place - try calling a friend to go do something instead of waiting for them to call you. If that friend is not available - call another. If that friend is not available just go for a walk or a bike ride and purpose to smile and say hello to everyone you pass. Make that human connection you are craving instead of waiting for someone to connect with you. 

We can own the power we have to create the life we want instead of living a life we tolerate. 

Is it easy? 


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™