tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54182965918713112092024-03-13T10:07:43.265-05:00A Journey...An amazing journey of hope, healing and self discovery!Empowering Solutionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11438601114644988521noreply@blogger.comBlogger415125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-8312844826422526222015-03-02T12:09:00.001-06:002015-11-09T15:47:45.278-06:00It's Official…I've Moved! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For some time I've gone back and forth about if I'm still writing here at A Journey or if I'm moving to a new location and I've finally decided it is time to move. <a href="http://www.susankingsleysmith.com/" target="_blank">Please join me at my new blog/website here….</a><br />
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<i><b>If you're not sure you are on my email list </b></i><b><i><a href="http://www.susankingsleysmith.com/" target="_blank">please go here to subscribe for the occasional news, notes and tips…</a> when I am able to publish it. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>Namaste, my friends! </i></b><br />
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<b><i>Thank you always, always for sharing the journey!</i></b><br />
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<b><i>I'm looking forward to seeing you <a href="http://www.susankingsleysmith.com/" target="_blank">at the new website/blog and hope you'll introduce yourself there</a> or <a href="http://www.twitter.com/susan_ks">follow me on twitter here. </a></i></b><br />
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<b><i>Always, always look for the light…</i></b><br />
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<b><i>Susan :) </i></b><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03297115847646262168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-71881913376469546602014-12-27T04:00:00.000-06:002014-12-27T04:00:03.656-06:00No More Nightmares…<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 17, 2014</td></tr>
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<i>This is the <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=the+hard+work" target="_blank">"hard work"</a>"; learning how to process past and new trauma's so they are a part of our memories instead of a chronic nightmare. ~Sks</i></div>
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<b><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 19px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Related</i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><i>…</i></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><i><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it-going.html" target="_blank">I Don't Want to Talk About It </a> </i></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">For the longest time I held onto resentments. I mean - really - how could I forgive those who had affected my life and changed me forever?</span></div>
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<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/03/unchain-my-heart.html" target="_blank">Unchain My Heart…</a> <b style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">By continuing to focus on avoiding triggers something else was happening - <i>I was losing my life.</i></b></div>
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Thanks always for your likes, sharing the links and your comments!<br />
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<i><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/surgeryforsusan" target="_blank">If you have found my work to be supportive of your journey - won't you please consider supporting this part of my journey by donating at my fundraiser page? Just click here. Thank you. </a></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-12043795682069104832014-12-25T08:05:00.002-06:002014-12-25T08:10:30.798-06:00My Hope For You…<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy55HM7MaZfpsswWQPx8nd-k2iVSyuVO17XP_zIsbr7noRm3nqzB-WKtzgFCrWRBKGCK26rVqaf8Fu3AtTE04mUWbbMSZKzvBCdAYnbr3nhFMFDxVNnRIyKtM-fmUd9I3s3KXl45RuCvjh/s1600/Winter+path.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy55HM7MaZfpsswWQPx8nd-k2iVSyuVO17XP_zIsbr7noRm3nqzB-WKtzgFCrWRBKGCK26rVqaf8Fu3AtTE04mUWbbMSZKzvBCdAYnbr3nhFMFDxVNnRIyKtM-fmUd9I3s3KXl45RuCvjh/s1600/Winter+path.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i>Holding wishes for each and every one of you to experience love, joy and peace in your life now and always. Holidays can be difficult in many ways. My hope for you is to find your path to peace today and always. Namaste, my friends. I see you and honor your Journey.</i></div>
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<i style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">My best to you always, with head bowed and hands together</i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><i>…</i></span></span></div>
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<a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100000780981735" href="https://www.facebook.com/susankingsleysmith" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><i>Susan</i></a></div>
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<i>If you have found my work to be supportive of your journey - won't you please consider supporting this part of my journey by donating? Thank you. <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/surgeryforsusan" target="_blank">www.gofundme.com/surgeryforsusan</a></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-68569276176858565122014-12-24T06:52:00.000-06:002014-12-24T06:52:00.057-06:00In the Simplest Terms…<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 17, 2014</td></tr>
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<i><br></i>
<i>This journey, in the simplest terms, is about nothing more than learning to be ok when things are not ok. It's not about all the things that have gone wrong in our life and relationships. It's not even about each of the trauma's we have experienced.</i><br>
</div><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2014/12/in-simplest-terms.html#more">Read more »</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-45615131372675810012014-12-20T19:30:00.000-06:002014-12-22T08:14:14.461-06:00Repeating the Patterns…<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunset<br />
Friday August 6 2010 8:11:45pm</td></tr>
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<i>The reason we struggle in relationships is not because they are "jerks" but because we (and they) are engaging with others the way we learned in our original dysfunction. We are repeating, and will repeat, the patterns we learned there until WE learn to do life and relationships differently. TIP: when relationships feel difficult always ask the universe - that inner wisdom - what the lesson is and you will be guided to the information that will help you to grow past this. TIP2: stop trying to "teach" "them" what is intended to be YOUR learning.</i></div>
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Thank you for liking, linking and sharing :)<br />
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<i>If you have found my work to be supportive of your journey - won't you please consider supporting this part of my journey by donating? Thank you.<a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2FWww.gofundme.com%2Fsurgeryforsusan&h=kAQGSouRi&enc=AZOE-cvluQkKSi5ALCzN58URM5mZxUhNzXajWYcWIcEXAq_D52SC6r1Ywvve0aZH8Iv3_AwMIhYJWIa7Ucwa9_aBCkU9_BE-Gj0_ooUY_JCfrTNW4AQJlQsj97mDyeZgb5q9BA_IxE2vgRGH_Lkbt1oHS6CDUJZrc-Cy5SAXD21Y7A&s=1" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Www.gofundme.com/surgeryforsusan</a></i></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-49139313864149099102014-12-17T22:30:00.000-06:002014-12-22T08:21:20.707-06:00Seeking Lessons by Seeking the Teacher (Musings)<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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<span class="_58cm" style="cursor: pointer;"><i style="color: #141823; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">The Universe will bring you the Teachers you need and these Teachers will speak the language </i><span style="color: #141823; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><i>tha</i></span></span><i style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">t speaks to you. Always be open to new information and opportunities. Begin you day with inviting the Universe to speak to you and you will be surprised at the lessons you learn. Approach your life with the expectation that today you will grow by learning. </i></span></div>
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<i>If you have found my work to be supportive of your journey - won't you please consider supporting this part of my journey by donating? Thank you.<a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2FWww.gofundme.com%2Fsurgeryforsusan&h=kAQGSouRi&enc=AZOE-cvluQkKSi5ALCzN58URM5mZxUhNzXajWYcWIcEXAq_D52SC6r1Ywvve0aZH8Iv3_AwMIhYJWIa7Ucwa9_aBCkU9_BE-Gj0_ooUY_JCfrTNW4AQJlQsj97mDyeZgb5q9BA_IxE2vgRGH_Lkbt1oHS6CDUJZrc-Cy5SAXD21Y7A&s=1" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Www.gofundme.com/surgeryforsusan</a></i></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-65225405824869584042014-12-14T07:00:00.000-06:002014-12-21T17:23:30.807-06:00I Don't Need to Be "Fixed"…<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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Here's a lesson I've learned along the way through all the drama/trauma and dysfunction that has been my life…</div>
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There is nothing "wrong" with me. </div>
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I am <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=can+of+soup" target="_blank">not broken</a> even though I may have felt very broken. </div>
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I do not need someone to <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=fix" target="_blank">"fix" me and I do not need "fixing</a>".</div>
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I needed to <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=learning" target="_blank">LEARN</a> about what I did not get that I needed and how to give that to myself. </div>
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<i>When I stopped trying to figure out "why" I felt so broken and understood that those charged with "raising me in the way I would go" could only give me what they had been given is when I was able to grieve the life I never got and needed, the life I did have that I didn't need and come to accept the life I had and - that I could still learn to create the life I wanted.</i></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">Many of us can and must find our way on our own because there are not adequate or qualified helpers to help us. This is why I do what I do and share my journey with you because this is what I expected to get when I asked for "help"; this is what I expected from "therapy" but never got. Finally, <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=fifteen+years" target="_blank">after 15 years</a>, I met someone who had traveled this path </span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">before me and was able to share the basics of the "how" to do this journey before she moved on in her own. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 19px;">For those who feel they cannot do this on their own please consider t<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/01/whats-diff-how-to-tell-average.html" target="_blank">aking a look at this post: How to tell an average therapist from a great therapist. </a></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 19px;">Follow me on Facebook for more musings, mumblings and ramblings here: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/susankingsleysmith" target="_blank">Susan </a></span></i><span style="line-height: 19px;"><i><a href="http://www.facebook.com/susankingsleysmith" target="_blank">Kingsley-Smith </a></i></span></span></div>
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<i>If you have found my work to be supportive of your journey - won't you please consider supporting this part of my journey by donating? Thank you.<a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2FWww.gofundme.com%2Fsurgeryforsusan&h=kAQGSouRi&enc=AZOE-cvluQkKSi5ALCzN58URM5mZxUhNzXajWYcWIcEXAq_D52SC6r1Ywvve0aZH8Iv3_AwMIhYJWIa7Ucwa9_aBCkU9_BE-Gj0_ooUY_JCfrTNW4AQJlQsj97mDyeZgb5q9BA_IxE2vgRGH_Lkbt1oHS6CDUJZrc-Cy5SAXD21Y7A&s=1" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Www.gofundme.com/surgeryforsusan</a></i></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-89906474264636306612014-10-31T10:34:00.001-05:002014-11-01T07:26:43.868-05:00Dr. Andrew Saul on Depression and Mental IllnessA quick share today on the topic of what has become known as "mental illness". Dr. Andrew Saul discusses what we will not ever hear in our standard health care or mental health care.<br />
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My disclaimer is that I have not found animal products or synthetic supplements to be helpful. I have found a plant based diet and plant based, organic supplements to be supportive of creating health for myself. And while I do not endorse nor support the use of animals in testing for anything…the outcome in this video cannot be denied.<br />
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For more on learning to live a high nutrient lifestyle based on 20 years of research check out this video, Forks Over Knives (this is just a clip. you can purchase the full documentary for a very nominal cost at the connected link or at amazon) <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1LUj3kxB9M">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1LUj3kxB9M</a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03297115847646262168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-62675650675564077112014-09-12T09:00:00.000-05:002014-09-16T08:54:11.505-05:00When We Don't Have "Helpful Help"<div class="_4-u3 _5cla" style="border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border-top-style: none; color: #141823; line-height: 15px; padding: 16px;">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From a Facebook note I posted recently….</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not everyone has a supportive network to "help" them; in particular when community, friends and family do not support our chosen path and are often part of the pattern of dysfunction that keeps us feeling helpless and hopeless. Of necessity some of us must learn to figure out how to heal our lives on our own. The good news is that even then we are not really "alone" because the Universe always brings us the teachers we need in order to learn the lessons we need. The thing is to learn to be the student who is ready. </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Survivors of early life drama, trauma and dysfunction often struggle with the idea that we "need" someone to "help" us find our way. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>And - this is a very NORMAL place to be because in the drama, trauma and dysfunction we often did not learn how to see ourselves as capable. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>In fact many of us learned that we were incapable to effect change in our lives because our power was taken from us early in our lives. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>We grew up believing a big, fat lie that told us we are not good enough and will never be able to do anything right enough. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So - it can be a bit of a challenge <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/03/your-assignment-if-you-choose-to-accept.html" target="_blank">over-riding that old programming</a> but the biggest part of that challenge is learning to recognize when I was "there" by checking, challenging and changing the story I was telling myself about whatever the challenge I was facing was. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1. Was I focused on what I "had no choice" about? Was I "feeling" powerless? Did I "feel" hopeless? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The truth is that as a child - I did not have a choice about pretty much anything. Life happened to me, things were done to me and for me; but I never had a choice. <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2013/11/why-do-i-feel-so-powerless-difference.html" target="_blank">I learned to tolerate the intolerable; I developed a very high threshold for being mistreated</a> so the lesson became learning to recognize when something "felt bad" so I could <b>choose </b>to leave those situations instead of trying to <b><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2011/12/trusting-me.html" target="_blank">"work it out"</a></b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I learned to recognize when I was feeling hopeless and that in turn helped me to recognize when I was feeling helpless/powerless and this helped me to find my hope by finding my power. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I learned to recognize and utilize the support and resources I DID have and trust that I would have WHAT I needed WHEN I needed it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I learned to remind myself that <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=being+powerless" target="_blank">feeling powerless is far different than actually being powerless. </a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><b>2. Was I feeling as though I had the answers for everyone else? Did I know exactly what others needed to do (yet struggled with knowing what to do for myself and my life)? Did I believe that in order for my distress to stop - others had to abide by my expectations? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/05/from-archivesletting-life-unfold.html" target="_blank">Learning to let go and let life unfold naturally</a> was easier said that done at first. But in time and as I learned to recognize that I was taking on things that were not mine to take on - I found I was better able and prepared to deal with my own things. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>All in all - the lesson I learned that became a truth that set me free?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>The lessons that enabled me to see that I was all I needed? </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Was when I realized that I already hold all the knowledge I need within me by way of the universe/inner wisdom/still small voice that lives within each of us and - that by becoming open to recognizing the struggles I faced in my life as my teachers?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I became the "student who was ready". </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Tip: learn to ask "what is the lesson I need to learn here" when things feel unmanageable, difficult or <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-cant-take-it-anymore-overwhelm-as.html" target="_blank">overwhelming</a>. Practice going deep within for your answers instead of looking for that knight in shining armor on the white horse to rescue you. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>We don't have to wait to "hit bottom" to figure this out but of course sometimes that is the lesson we need in order to learn this.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><i>A list of related posts on being the student who is ready can be found <b><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=the+student+who+is+ready" target="_blank">here</a> </b>and learning to use feelings of overwhelm to guide our path <b><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-cant-take-it-anymore-overwhelm-as.html" target="_blank">here</a>. </b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b>Is this easy? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not at all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Was it worth it?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Absolutely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You go. :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Best always, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Susan</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tip: choose <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=one+thing" target="_blank">one thing </a>instead of many things to work on and when this has become your new "normal" - choose another. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Baby steps each day gets us where we want to go but thinking about all we should do? Often prevents us from getting anything done. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>ONE thing. </i></span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-61319225421367794672014-08-12T09:56:00.000-05:002014-08-12T12:10:56.539-05:00On Grief and Loss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi99PWx2mlMxqCTM8To89wYA14XppXTSpHoSTJ9PBvAzSAzovrA3x3qbWlIc1Sste1tIYrBxPB810Op8w9PegarSAuLVjr9zMEpknGEdXouVes1ERSZln85a1UrM4YZqLd2YyOiVXEiasw4/s1600/IMG_5010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi99PWx2mlMxqCTM8To89wYA14XppXTSpHoSTJ9PBvAzSAzovrA3x3qbWlIc1Sste1tIYrBxPB810Op8w9PegarSAuLVjr9zMEpknGEdXouVes1ERSZln85a1UrM4YZqLd2YyOiVXEiasw4/s1600/IMG_5010.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">On grief and loss - I know the pain that feels as though death would be the only relief and have found a new life after that kind of inner devastation. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Let those big feelings out. Don't try to contain them for they will consume you from the inside out. Find a way to safely express your anger, angst and pain through some physical form. Run it out, walk it out, scream it out. Throw something and let it ma</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">ke the loud noise against the wall as you fall to the floor sobbing.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />Let go of those unable to sit with you or your pain. Let them go that you can find yourself. Dont try to find comfort from those who are not comforting. Give yourself a soft place to land each day. Visit the trees. Walk in the grass. Breathe with the clouds and know that with time it will hurt less and the hurt will come less often even though we know it never goes away completely.<br /><br />Know that you are not alone.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03297115847646262168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-5876494091561832802014-08-01T08:37:00.002-05:002014-08-01T17:21:30.843-05:00As It Goes…<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEjAD_v_3Bgw8ISrOWlLWf4LfHfXbTqx16bRXKifuI7KDyfekbp2ebCxzyFf9v-ofiXatHPbJN7EE0aBZyW_N3bSHZVA4biqQ-jfJbouoekPz1naQvH9nO-oMXpFMfojBHVvWhrdGfNDgg/s1600/IMG_5022.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEjAD_v_3Bgw8ISrOWlLWf4LfHfXbTqx16bRXKifuI7KDyfekbp2ebCxzyFf9v-ofiXatHPbJN7EE0aBZyW_N3bSHZVA4biqQ-jfJbouoekPz1naQvH9nO-oMXpFMfojBHVvWhrdGfNDgg/s1600/IMG_5022.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
So, as it goes, things change. Life is an evolution and for me a marvelous, exciting and sometimes challenging experiment.<br />
<br />
I've been writing here at A Journey since <a href="http://www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-wonderful-world.html" target="_blank">April 6, 2009</a> where I began to <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=darkness" target="_blank">chronicle my journey out of the darkness </a>and <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=into+the+light" target="_blank">into the light </a>after a lifetime of <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=victim" target="_blank">seeing myself as a victim who had "no choice"</a> and realizing in this amazing journey that I no longer had to live as a victim and that <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/04/living-far-beyond-survival.html" target="_blank">there was life far beyond "recovery" and survival. </a><br />
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Then for awhile my path shifted and <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/03/when-student-is-ready-teacher-will-come.html" target="_blank">as the student who tries to be ready</a>, I found myself drawn to other adventures like creating the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions page</a> and <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">podcast</a>.<br />
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I tried my hand at guest blogging at a few places and was able to contribute on some issues that are very dear to my heart like the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=emerging+from+broken+%2B+susan+kingsley+smith&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&gws_rd=ssl" target="_blank">abuse and dysfunction many of us come from </a>, <a href="https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=heal+my+ptsd+%2B+susan+kingsley+smith&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&gws_rd=ssl" target="_blank">finding our own path to personal empowerment </a> and sharing a <a href="http://www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">bit of my story </a>as it relates to <a href="http://emergingfrombroken.com/dysfunctional-relationship-with-mental-health-providers/comment-page-5/" target="_blank">how I experienced the nearly 2 decades of my life</a> when <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/another-ranthow-i-became-suicidal.html" target="_blank">I was told by doctors that I had a brain disease,</a> was ill and would need "medication for life" and the resulting years of <a href="http://beyondmeds.com/2012/12/04/psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/" target="_blank">protracted withdrawals </a>when <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">another doctor decided I no longer needed</a> them as a trauma survivor. <i>(NOTE: NEVER let a doctor tell you that you can "just stop" these drugs; this is very dangerous. I was fortunate to have the tenacity to go through this and come out the other end ok; many are not able to tolerate the impact of cold turkey or even a short taper. Get informed to be empowered - <a href="http://www.proactiveplanning.us/" target="_blank">you can start here if you need resources.</a>)</i><br />
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I wrote about <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/06/claiming-new-paradigmfor-myself.html" target="_blank">how I came to choose a new paradigm for myself </a>and this has led to my coming to terms with realizing that I had never been "sick" and that <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Epidemic-Bullets-Psychiatric-Astonishing/dp/0307452425" target="_blank">it was the drugs I was being given that actually was the source of the symptoms that seemed to get worse instead of better,</a> even though I was following "doctors orders" to the letter.<br />
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As time went on my focus shifted to healing myself and my psyche <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2011/06/blisschick-most-mental-illness-is.html" target="_blank">from the damage of being told I was "ill" </a>and the realization that <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-am-not-can-of-soup.html" target="_blank">I am not what they told me I was</a> and <a href="http://beyondmeds.com/2010/07/21/susanajourney/" target="_blank">had been so terribly harmed and made ill by those I trusted with my health and my life</a>; my doctors and those I sought out for support and help in my journey.<br />
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In following the inner drive to make meaning of these experiences, in time I found myself shifting my focus from this blog to the<a href="http://www.facebook.com/susankingsleysmith" target="_blank"> Facebook platform</a> where I have met hundreds and thousands of amazing people on their own individual journey's.<br />
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Here I found a camaraderie of persons who have experienced their own journey to well being in many different ways. To each of you - I am in awe of your strength and courage and in complete gratitude that somehow our paths have crossed. In support of those who have wondered about the use of psychiatric drugs I created a <a href="http://www.proactiveplanning.us/" target="_blank">workshop and website</a> and was invited to <a href="http://www.peter-lehmann-publishing.com/books1/withdraw.htm" target="_blank">contribute a chapter</a> on using the internet and social media to find support.<br />
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Time moved on and <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2013/09/this-blog-is-not-dead.html" target="_blank">I was seeming to lose my voice,</a> I was unclear to my path and my purpose and realized along the way that in order for me to regain my footing and clarity that it was vital that I stop trying to create new things and start focusing on <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2014/01/when-things-are-changing.html" target="_blank">letting go of the old so I could embrace the new. </a><br />
<br />
So here we are.<br />
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It's nearly autumn 2014 and my journey is again changing directions as I focus on continuing to reclaim my health, create my best life and rediscover my voice.<br />
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I don't have a clear vision of what my path is just yet - but I do have a desire again to write now and then so - stay tuned; my hope is that we will continue to travel this path together.<br />
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Namaste.<br />
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May you be well, be happy and live in peace.<br />
<br />
Susan<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03297115847646262168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-62624351861819670632014-01-08T07:07:00.002-06:002014-01-08T07:15:00.277-06:00When Things Are Changing<div class="fb-like" data-action="like" data-href="https://developers.facebook.com/docs/plugins/" data-layout="standard" data-share="true" data-show-faces="true">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As things go - when something is not "flowing" I have to pause. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the past - I would have looked "outside" of myself to try to discover what I could do to "fix" things. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would work harder.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Push harder. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I might even try "blaming" something or someone for why things are not working aka "flowing" the way they have in the past. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet - one of the life lessons I have learned as I committed to being the student who is ready</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">…?</span></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Is that when things are not working - I've learned….</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>That working harder won't make it work better.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>That pushing harder - only makes it harder. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>I've learned to let go that I can see what remains, what might come back and…</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">What new thing might emerge.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I've known and felt for some time that as much as I have loved writing here at A Journey and sharing on twitter and at the Empowering Solutions page on Facebook and the podcast at Blog Talk Radio…</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I've felt a sense of discontent that if I ignore it only leads to more discontent.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>A good friend and my own Life Coach has helped me to see that when things are not "working" that the Universe is trying to direct me to some sort of change. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>For the past many months I have felt that I was to let some things go…</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">In order to be ready to receive what might be next for me in my Journey.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">If you are <a href="http://eepurl.com/KYRAr" target="_blank">on my mailing list here </a>then you will receive any future updates from there as well as by subscribing here (to the left) for blog post updates.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>So - once again…</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I'd like to say that <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2013/09/this-blog-is-not-dead.html" target="_blank">This Blog Is Not Dead</a>….and encourage you to <a href="http://www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.com/" target="_blank">visit the archives here at A Journey</a>, at the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Facebook Empowering Solutions page here</a> and the <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Blog Talk Radio podcast here. </a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Thank you for your continued engagement and encouragement to continue doing this work that is not work - I am always so grateful to hear your stories and testimonies of how <i>A Journey</i> and <i>Empowering Solutions</i> have impacted your life. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Susan:)</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-27183157400629463382013-12-21T09:02:00.003-06:002013-12-21T12:11:28.141-06:00The "Disorder" in PTSD… and Some Empowering Solutions<div class="fb-like" data-action="like" data-href="https://developers.facebook.com/docs/plugins/" data-layout="standard" data-share="true" data-show-faces="true">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEt9yzvRXZ2NQFCccbRnLxYLWrWfqiI82k5o-fw5Cf_3BRdzk1135juVTqOdx2KSNBzIX-2Ma5wzGr4HDCql16300LU5jLGheBgWVqcH26z_emJXN_756qbX6_bpSLwTBaVYDqX3of3WIC/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEt9yzvRXZ2NQFCccbRnLxYLWrWfqiI82k5o-fw5Cf_3BRdzk1135juVTqOdx2KSNBzIX-2Ma5wzGr4HDCql16300LU5jLGheBgWVqcH26z_emJXN_756qbX6_bpSLwTBaVYDqX3of3WIC/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">We may be afraid and thats ok. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; letter-spacing: 0px;">Our fear becomes a problem only when we allow it to dictate our actions and interfere with our future. </span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">And asking or expecting others to change or accommodate us so that we don't have to face our fear? </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Serves to enable us in our avoidance and lets the fear control our future. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Heres the thing I discovered</span>…</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Is </span>that<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/what-is-ptsd.asp" target="_blank">"avoidance" is the "disorder" in "PTSD". </a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>The truth that set me free?</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Knowing and learning that we can learn to calm our parasympathetic nervous system; that we don't have to "go </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8_TWiX1xfKJ0L4eD7GOhp7IlG0honkT5jJKcBDq52X6oaNNLw2i117cUGwZQ7genMR32ThDwLlyS7sRHNnrD1hkFsAQ3fWMh-KxEYjyAeG8gv-1aO9ebR5cDB33tXGuaWI0rN4buaz-bR/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8_TWiX1xfKJ0L4eD7GOhp7IlG0honkT5jJKcBDq52X6oaNNLw2i117cUGwZQ7genMR32ThDwLlyS7sRHNnrD1hkFsAQ3fWMh-KxEYjyAeG8gv-1aO9ebR5cDB33tXGuaWI0rN4buaz-bR/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">there".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">That we can take our life back from trauma. </span></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial; min-height: 15px;">
<br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>Tip</b>: start noticing when you are feeling "amped" or as though you need to run away, fight back or shut down. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Then start removing yourself from the "trigger" <i>before</i> you actually bolt, fight back or shut down. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Develop the skills to use tools to bring these feelings of anger/fight, fear/flight and </span>freezing/shutting down<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> to a </span>manageable<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> place like:</span></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Deep breathing </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Dancing it out </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Punching it out</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Walking or running it out</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Writing it out (without sending it :) )</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">The thing to remember is that most of us have been taught to run to others, to "ask for help" when we are feeling emotionally overloaded instead of being taught the life and coping skills to manage our feelings and that - leaves us feeling both powerless and hopeless for anything better.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>These exercises when practiced over time - will empower you to be in control of your emotions vs your emotions controlling you. </i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Keep in mind that this first step can take some time as we learn and choose to be in awareness of how we are feeling vs the disconnection that can come with experiencing chronic trauma over time. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRpwe9b2Wb7HRHVrz2ztsHs9krzwsRiQo8w0MBq4mwrJvADmTJK87NvkF5-cbDHZGG52kxMFAfnRQZd9SS_KRhR8ZMsuPf8XDTeoRlcxSwyNp7XosrOCnvRu_siqVrmebpWMRv8sot_jOf/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRpwe9b2Wb7HRHVrz2ztsHs9krzwsRiQo8w0MBq4mwrJvADmTJK87NvkF5-cbDHZGG52kxMFAfnRQZd9SS_KRhR8ZMsuPf8XDTeoRlcxSwyNp7XosrOCnvRu_siqVrmebpWMRv8sot_jOf/s1600/images-2.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>The key?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; letter-spacing: 0px;">Is to practice this over and over and over</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">….taking small steps instead of expecting big results "fast". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Knowing that you are empowering yourself vs needing someone to tell you what is "wrong" and how to "fix" it. </span><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Heres the bottom line about dealing with "PTSD" issues that I discovered to be empowering</span>….</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Learning to bring things down to a manageable level before we "react" allows and empowers us to shift from "reactive" to "responsive" where we can consider our options and respond via choice vs the basic human need to engage in fight, flight or freeze as our only options.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So there you go. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>It's simple, yes. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Not nearly as complicated as I was taught to believe it was. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>Is it easy? </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Nope. Not at all. Especially at first. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>Is it effective?</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixUdyV30ORj2LWeZVg-CgtZHNl1piDt8RFS_oPRDEmuUtp8OBQdHyC_NPL6IkhdDcUjVsraZCFJE6PlduXs2bDM9clLiOgznP5hEtApCWpwRERnbp396zrFBK_5HK1jXniWJ0rHTVfs2jj/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixUdyV30ORj2LWeZVg-CgtZHNl1piDt8RFS_oPRDEmuUtp8OBQdHyC_NPL6IkhdDcUjVsraZCFJE6PlduXs2bDM9clLiOgznP5hEtApCWpwRERnbp396zrFBK_5HK1jXniWJ0rHTVfs2jj/s1600/images-1.jpeg" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">Yup. :) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>Is it empowering?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">You bet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Discovering that I was in control of myself, my reactions, my choices….that I did NOT have to be in therapy or on drugs "for life"? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Empowered me to start seeing myself as the creator of my "best life". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>May you discover your own "empowering solutions" and find freedom from your fears. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Best always and forever,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Susan :) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
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Resources
Visit the archives to the <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions podcast here</a> for real life solutions to real life and relationship issues.
Follow the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions community page here</a> for daily tips on learning to live beyond the drama and trauma of our past…
And the <a href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions blog </a>is here for articles and essays on life and life issues. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> Please subscribe at the top for blog updates and join our mailing list. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
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Thanks for following, reading and sharing!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-48185441899629649452013-11-18T02:00:00.000-06:002013-11-18T02:00:02.127-06:00Seeking Happy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTWfi7wSxIZMKmf9QtREEpCLWtl0p_CzFslaSIz8ri12gxNLOjPCOQDcnL9IleXrVOWl6M1n7SBfT4Jo7ocSWLvL1BW6lf9fi0SE8uptOMhj4-aR5riQ73GAE8czxvZkaGgukrByN_U-Q_/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTWfi7wSxIZMKmf9QtREEpCLWtl0p_CzFslaSIz8ri12gxNLOjPCOQDcnL9IleXrVOWl6M1n7SBfT4Jo7ocSWLvL1BW6lf9fi0SE8uptOMhj4-aR5riQ73GAE8czxvZkaGgukrByN_U-Q_/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><span id="goog_1054839440"></span><span id="goog_1054839441"></span><br /></span></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Many of us are seeking happiness in people, places and things.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> </span></b><br /><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">"If I get a new job and move to a different state then I can get away from all this bs"</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">"If I could just take a vacation - then everything would be ok"</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">"If I had this house, car, clothes, job, business ….then I'd be happy".</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTX_mjGPQARmKEcN1NMf8glQJOdXVZ8Lr4P2HQuT7KHsMkOW_hsjrmG7x2gXKf4TXJoeKJszHCSaQTA1jdR0AF2i15m8a_Z_PrIjNBFk-DO2gFDcB7k8W2Wj2X6VtiH27R_cgl-egHEVpx/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTX_mjGPQARmKEcN1NMf8glQJOdXVZ8Lr4P2HQuT7KHsMkOW_hsjrmG7x2gXKf4TXJoeKJszHCSaQTA1jdR0AF2i15m8a_Z_PrIjNBFk-DO2gFDcB7k8W2Wj2X6VtiH27R_cgl-egHEVpx/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><b>The problem I found with that? </b></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Is that if I wasn't happy with who I was by myself I would never be happy with that "someone" and in fact that relationship would go down the toilet just like all the rest of them did. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I discovered that moving or changing jobs distracted me for awhile but in time things were the same as they were before. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I found that no matter what I had, what I owned or what I did to make a living - if I was not happy where I was I would not be happy there. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Happy happened when I learned to make it happen. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><i>And when I got happy with <b>me</b>? </i></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLOCVjS6BTgK_fPsQMp-93G67CUSc-OREvPzrOH5nnb0fFWAcDVUMopZLGgxfOzjZYwzr4jzDhqS_U3kfU55ER0RIxUIyGD410Cp8wIWjvy6RO6hQqD99mB10pLpOVpWKikC3d0OP4yiHp/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLOCVjS6BTgK_fPsQMp-93G67CUSc-OREvPzrOH5nnb0fFWAcDVUMopZLGgxfOzjZYwzr4jzDhqS_U3kfU55ER0RIxUIyGD410Cp8wIWjvy6RO6hQqD99mB10pLpOVpWKikC3d0OP4yiHp/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" /></a></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I no longer needed to be a "we".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I started looking at where I could move <i><b>to</b></i> instead of what I could move <b>away from.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">And…</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">I discovered that I had everything I needed already; that I didn't need a new house, car, job or clothes. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><i>How have you found happy? </i></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Related</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-was-looking-for-happyin-all-wrong.html" target="_blank">I Was Looking For Happy In All the Wrong Places</a></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2013/11/happiness-is-choice-then-why-am-i-not.html" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;" target="_blank">Happiness is a choice? Then why am I not happy?</a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Resources</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Visit the archives to the <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions podcast</a> here for real life solutions to real life and relationship issues. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Follow the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions community page here</a> for daily tips on learning to live beyond the drama and trauma of our past… </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And the <a href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions blog</a> is here for articles and essays on life and life issues.
Please subscribe at the top for blog updates and join our mailing list. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b> Thanks for following, reading and sharing!</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Share on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/" target="_blank">twitter here</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/" target="_blank">Facebook here</a>. </i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-11163762696837101022013-11-11T01:00:00.000-06:002013-11-11T01:00:11.638-06:00Happiness is a choice? Then why am I not happy? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYxB0PZsm2VDV0OKtPoizPiT-Qu93S-WluT8jM8c5ddpLizGDWHnSpF_t-pQEpBURUH37SwpqUWPI8zbmgJQ_AvdsrqzGC1Ro1ESTMaYsxBQMBkTWzQDtEUXWWOHLUd3gq8zUvW4w5iCPr/s1600/Unknown-5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYxB0PZsm2VDV0OKtPoizPiT-Qu93S-WluT8jM8c5ddpLizGDWHnSpF_t-pQEpBURUH37SwpqUWPI8zbmgJQ_AvdsrqzGC1Ro1ESTMaYsxBQMBkTWzQDtEUXWWOHLUd3gq8zUvW4w5iCPr/s1600/Unknown-5.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br />
I'd hear the saying "happiness is choice"…<br />
<br />
And feel worse.<br />
<br />
<b>What was wrong with me that I wasn't able to be happy? </b><br />
<br />
Indeed…<br />
<br />
<b>There had to be something "wrong" with me. </b><br />
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I mean seriously wrong with me.<br />
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I was angry.<br />
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I was sometimes mean.<br />
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I was oftentimes driven to be busy, busy, busy.<br />
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But I was not "happy".<br />
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<b>So - when I sought help - it was confirmed that</b> <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank"><b><i>something was wrong - terribly wrong with me. </i></b></a><br />
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My brain was indeed broken.<br />
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<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=a+bit+of+a+rant" target="_blank"><b>I had a "disease" - like *diabetes! </b></a><br />
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I had an "illness" that affected my ability to be "happy".<br />
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Aha! That explained it!<br />
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A "diagnosis" made it all make sense.<br />
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<b>Yet - the prescribed "treatments" that were supposed to make me "feel" better - never worked. </b><br />
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I settled into a life of "less than" "for the rest of my life".<br />
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And stayed there.<br />
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<b>UNTIL I met someone who had traveled this path before me and discovered their own truth and shared it with me…</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZphKdO9drOYEAWLRr_vJyQ9uNKf1w3gfFoQl8m0XehvC04JdRA2uZSiAGYYWKY-4Msc1-f_ZpBHnbdeq7ilKHQlmdcxaatumFE8RzW4jYUcrYrmhsXKCVHYgl5QbG-Nrg5upxxTHz7UU-/s1600/Unknown-8.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZphKdO9drOYEAWLRr_vJyQ9uNKf1w3gfFoQl8m0XehvC04JdRA2uZSiAGYYWKY-4Msc1-f_ZpBHnbdeq7ilKHQlmdcxaatumFE8RzW4jYUcrYrmhsXKCVHYgl5QbG-Nrg5upxxTHz7UU-/s1600/Unknown-8.jpeg" /></a></div>
<b><i>That there was nothing "wrong" with me other than I did not know how to access the power that lives in each of us to see myself as the creator of my own "best life". </i></b><br />
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<b>Tip</b>: if happiness has eluded you….set a goal for yourself and each day take steps toward that goal.<br />
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Maybe its a goal to move to a new home, get a new job or go back to school.<br />
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Maybe its a goal to learn how to become more self sufficient; to learn how to be less "reactive" and more "responsive". Or maybe to learn the difference between "boundaries" and "walls".<br />
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<b>Whether your goal is to be-come your best self through personal development learning strategies or to do or have something that you have longed for…</b><br />
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The best remedy for chronic sadness is to focus on what makes us happy and find our own empowering solutions when we aren't'.<br />
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True stuff.<br />
<br />
Susan :)<br />
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<i>*Diabetes - the whole paradigm built on the idea that "mental illness" is a disease like diabetes is more true than we know. First we must differentiate between type 1 and type 2 diabetes. In type 1 - there is a real physical issue that cannot be fixed. One is born with this. It is diagnosable through medical tests. In type 2 - this diabetes is brought on by overconsumption of refined sugar and can be reversed with diet and exercise. In considering the issues of "mental illness" in this context we must remember that there is NO diagnostic test for this - therefore these issues are not the same as type 1 diabetes which can be diagnosed and treated. In the context of type 2 diabetes - the issues of so called "mental illness" are also brought on by life experiences albeit more complex than just consuming enormous amounts of refunded sugar although refined sugar has been proven to cause issues that can be labeled "mental illness". For more on this I can recommend visiting <a href="http://beyondmeds.com/gut-health/" target="_blank">Beyond Meds articles on gut health</a>, this article at<a href="http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/12/22/How-Eating-Sugar-Can-Cause-Mental-Illness.aspx" target="_blank"> Mercola on sugar and mental illness</a>, this article on <a href="http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/60-years-research-links-gluten-grains-schizophrenia" target="_blank">gluten and schizophrenia, </a>and there are numerous studies revealing the impact of childhood trauma to what is labeled "mental illness". In addition, very often <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/another-ranthow-i-became-suicidal.html" target="_blank">the "medicine" we are given becomes the cause of the "illness" as I experienced</a>. All this as food for thought and to point out - these issues do not have to be "for life" and the "mental illness" model is 1. not an effective life model and 2. it is not the only model, or paradigm, about the human condition, the life we live or the struggles we face - although it is the only one we hear about when we ask for "help". </i><br />
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<i>Be informed to be empowered. </i><br />
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<i>For more on these issues please visit <a href="http://www.beyondmeds.com/">www.beyondmeds.com</a> </i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>Resources</b></span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Visit the archives to the <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><b>Empowering Solutions podcast here</b></a> for real life solutions to real life and relationship issues.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Follow the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><b>Empowering Solutions community page here</b></a> for daily tips on learning to live beyond the drama and trauma of our past…</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">And the <a href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/" style="color: #6699cc; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><b>Empowering Solutions blog is here </b></a>for articles and essays on life and life issues. </span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Please subscribe at the top for blog updates and join our mailing list.</i></span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;" /><br />
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Thanks for following, reading and sharing!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-86915088985979649902013-11-06T08:25:00.000-06:002013-11-06T08:28:30.338-06:00Why do I feel so powerless? The difference between "acceptance" and "tolerance" <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHgRnVTbs5uHZPH9j0TeeBKVPF_P-aCd_Z1aVxKiLCGQAkbSCYgbs5VE4U17KrzSktdydLBbyptU5yEhMU2wnLgUo31Vw3uRfWzXDoAEWSY6Cn1TNGZJ1eVUelzre2gu0bxJnNWnM-Jv6C/s1600/Unknown-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHgRnVTbs5uHZPH9j0TeeBKVPF_P-aCd_Z1aVxKiLCGQAkbSCYgbs5VE4U17KrzSktdydLBbyptU5yEhMU2wnLgUo31Vw3uRfWzXDoAEWSY6Cn1TNGZJ1eVUelzre2gu0bxJnNWnM-Jv6C/s1600/Unknown-2.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I used to think that I had to "accept" or "tolerate" bad behavior and being abused and mistreated by others because I could not change them - so I had to change myself in the hope that they would treat me better</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">….</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">If I was ______ or did _______ or said _______ or had ________ or looked _____</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">THEN they would love, appreciate, see me as worthy and valuable to be loved. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Then maybe they would _______________. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Right? </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Wrong. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;" /><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Acceptance of "what is" does NOT mean accepting or tolerating being mistreated. </span></b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEIxUy7uNmmHxyBwsrl0NOAeDo3SvlbRDJbCEnwXp-u6ELNktuFHt3tSx8ipMfJQGqXjJSmOFSxumyuHO8Uf4v4wxV-wNz7ZnZxgLbzvPFWeGtN7RlGHidCgMzdNpHrX8EaX0kjqzYNvCw/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEIxUy7uNmmHxyBwsrl0NOAeDo3SvlbRDJbCEnwXp-u6ELNktuFHt3tSx8ipMfJQGqXjJSmOFSxumyuHO8Uf4v4wxV-wNz7ZnZxgLbzvPFWeGtN7RlGHidCgMzdNpHrX8EaX0kjqzYNvCw/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">In fact when I lived like this - I felt overwhelmed and overcome with feelings of h</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;">opelessness and powerlessness. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">This is where I was doing the "dance" of dysfunction as I tried to figure out the steps</span></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">…</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">What could I do to make things better? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">How could I be different so they would love me, so they would stop being hurtful to me?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;">This is where I also lived in chronic "depression" and would "zone out".<br /><br />When I started realizing "depression" and zoning out aka "dissociation" were not a "disease" but a natural response to not knowing how to own my power to change my life?<br /><br /><i>That is when my life started to change. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b>Change can be painful</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQ0AuvnvXGaOg-B9awsunRBEhOqh3s-Vbg0cf2sTxkL4ydGAbDB4SHuZbwPR0Su1SugflIpIpiTZBLQRwpql2WkDQclwoUuWN_CTYha-Q94Y1pCr_3cHprjNfP-v4p3lbLuf6zvsfzdNW/s1600/Unknown-4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQ0AuvnvXGaOg-B9awsunRBEhOqh3s-Vbg0cf2sTxkL4ydGAbDB4SHuZbwPR0Su1SugflIpIpiTZBLQRwpql2WkDQclwoUuWN_CTYha-Q94Y1pCr_3cHprjNfP-v4p3lbLuf6zvsfzdNW/s1600/Unknown-4.jpeg" /></a></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b>Change can be painful but not as painful as staying in situations where I was not happy about the way others treated me and knowing there was nothing I could do to change <i>them or the way they treated me.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b>Acceptance is peace not tolerance</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b><i>Acceptance means living in peace with <b>what is</b> vs <b>trying to control or change others or circumstances </b>to change outcomes.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><i><br /></i>Acceptance does NOT mean tolerating things that are intolerable. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;">This - is where we feel helpless and powerless. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;">That is where we lose hope.<br /><br /><b>I found my hope when I found my power. </b></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9_MM0LL-wBJHpDqKIOSCxCST2K2Owipsau86Awr_xiCmjig-7uaXfavak8KyDjAEFLJvp1uMTDj7nWyfiiZyc8kLkmE8P5tpMbKicIdf4tvqYFKetZ9M-GmUVcP15TyLh290jM3HEgDE/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9_MM0LL-wBJHpDqKIOSCxCST2K2Owipsau86Awr_xiCmjig-7uaXfavak8KyDjAEFLJvp1uMTDj7nWyfiiZyc8kLkmE8P5tpMbKicIdf4tvqYFKetZ9M-GmUVcP15TyLh290jM3HEgDE/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b>Acceptance - yes.<br /><br />Tolerance - no.<br /><br /><i>We can make a plan and learn how to change our lives when circumstances are such that we can't change them.</i></span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 18px;">In the meantime</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">…</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">When we know that we can create the change that can change our life and allow us to live in that place of peace….</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>We can learn and practice living in acceptance of what is until we can achieve what could be. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 18px;">Q: What is it in your life that feels overwhelming and intolerable that you have been "accepting" and leaves you feeling hopeless and helpless?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">What would life look like for you if you were to change this? </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">What do you need to learn to create this change?</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX_3AWQP8hMLLo9KgBVo_B11Dsz7r_dZMcALio_vuV4MA750C1-lctK6En3JBc7xuL9ua042GAz6Ew-ppegUy8VQLw1haPM7I45LAv44cyNL5W6Aid0mS78QCXIoSxI_J13saYJHvlZ4R5/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX_3AWQP8hMLLo9KgBVo_B11Dsz7r_dZMcALio_vuV4MA750C1-lctK6En3JBc7xuL9ua042GAz6Ew-ppegUy8VQLw1haPM7I45LAv44cyNL5W6Aid0mS78QCXIoSxI_J13saYJHvlZ4R5/s1600/images-1.jpeg" /></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Life skills? </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">How to set and maintain healthy boundaries?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">What the difference is between healthy and unhealthy dependence and relationships? </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Coping strategies for difficult moments?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Do you want to go to school so you can have the career that would enable you to create this new life? </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Once we identify the "problem" we then identify potential solutions and start acting on those ideas vs staying stuck in telling the story of the problem over and over and over. </i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>The idea of taking that journey can feel scary yet - it is in facing our fear that we find our courage. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>You're a rock star.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">True story. :) </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Until next time,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Susan</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>Resources</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Visit the archives to the <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank"><b>Empowering Solutions podcast here</b></a> for real life solutions to real life and relationship issues.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Follow the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank"><b>Empowering Solutions community page here</b></a> for daily tips on learning to live beyond the drama and trauma of our past…</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">And the <a href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/" target="_blank"><b>Empowering Solutions blog is here </b></a>for articles and essays on life and life issues. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Please subscribe at the top for blog updates and join our mailing list.</i></span></span><br />
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Thanks for following, reading and sharing!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-12693518201273092442013-11-03T01:00:00.000-05:002013-11-03T01:00:01.025-05:00Staying Stuck vs Finding Freedom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi418J4wU6sL1vNKE4fjOF1tvg-3uTyc_GH68pJmicrAw4xmJyq2DncTjVH684qgYnxigfUGyvI0JHXt_Q2bFUJvmpxG0yV0YbthkWceU-vc9WXn_Y2Zg28pL0a69OxTMD1K6rSjPDW9URT/s1600/divorce-support-groups.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi418J4wU6sL1vNKE4fjOF1tvg-3uTyc_GH68pJmicrAw4xmJyq2DncTjVH684qgYnxigfUGyvI0JHXt_Q2bFUJvmpxG0yV0YbthkWceU-vc9WXn_Y2Zg28pL0a69OxTMD1K6rSjPDW9URT/s320/divorce-support-groups.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">As sometimes happens - I will post something that I wonder how it will go over. Todays post is one of those times. I posted this at the Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions/posts/599957273404172?comment_id=5143221&offset=0&total_comments=8&notif_t=feed_comment" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions page last week</a> fully expecting to receive no comments or response or expecting a response where readers became defensive of their "support groups". Instead - I received several </span></span></i></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 17px;">comments that said things like "AMEN!", "Love this page!" and "Beautiful!". </span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 17px;">Since it went over well there - I thought readers of <a href="http://www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.cob/" target="_blank">A Journey</a> might appreciate the lessons I learned as I was seeking solutions and instead - often found myself stuck in the problems.</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;"><b>Along the way I realized there are plenty of "pages" and "groups" where I could go to get my ego stroked. </b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1_3n3W3xpceJV19u0doCLymJ7wthcoP0HoNs7BFDM8eEB6DR4abT6YXd48PadVz86z9Y2Kstjr5X0y7u5G7_MDHCMag9uk2VqZisO-HNwlKmyYCIa0-EzseFetizOLMiM63aShRFxidfj/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1_3n3W3xpceJV19u0doCLymJ7wthcoP0HoNs7BFDM8eEB6DR4abT6YXd48PadVz86z9Y2Kstjr5X0y7u5G7_MDHCMag9uk2VqZisO-HNwlKmyYCIa0-EzseFetizOLMiM63aShRFxidfj/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">Lots of ways I can get involved with others who are still full of anger at what others did to them that harmed them. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">Places where I can talk about and learn to recognize "abusers" and "narcissists" abound aplenty. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">Many opportunities to become enmeshed in self pity. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">Tons of places where I can find others who are not wanting to "trigger" me, to take care of me - instead of teaching me to take care of myself. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">Lots of places where I could hang out where my anger at what others had done to me was fanned and fueled.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Yet - there are few places where I could go to learn to grow beyond that place of chronic victimhood. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Few places to learn how to trust myself instead of feeling like I could trust no one. </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><b>When I was a part of those places and sought out those groups that made me feel good about being a "victim" and a "survivor"… </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I did not grow. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><b><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">To find my path to freedom from the past I had to be willing to start seeing myself <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">not as a victim and more than a survivor. </a></span></i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I had to be willing to walk away from those places where it felt really good to be wrapped up in the caring of others who had had similar experiences; where I could remain that </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">powerless child waiting for someone to "help" me, to "fix" me. To tell me that I was amazing, powerful and capable.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho85lUTn49qZi3Xhan070VyUFhfQCco-e6AgpZ66haOSqe07lHWp1EQqdvxZvbbX8TPu4OvBHTrsCBa7cJ3Oy1gyQjxoTM31KY_i6-uxQLFczB2X3bZgj-dox0y32fVfsi54dReuPvGAUQ/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho85lUTn49qZi3Xhan070VyUFhfQCco-e6AgpZ66haOSqe07lHWp1EQqdvxZvbbX8TPu4OvBHTrsCBa7cJ3Oy1gyQjxoTM31KY_i6-uxQLFczB2X3bZgj-dox0y32fVfsi54dReuPvGAUQ/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Until I realized that only I could give those things to myself.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I had to be willing to walk toward the light instead of staying in the darkness. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I had to stop focusing on what had happened to me and how it had left me feeling broken…</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I had to stop seeking others who were so willing to soothe my wounds and learn to make myself feel better. </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I had to decide to "get a life" instead of wanting and wishing for a perfect life where I was someone - except who I was.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I had to start seeking solutions that empowered me to start telling a story not about what happened to me but about how I overcame what happened to me. </span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFGElXvNXoEXcc2Oq0d7mcZAgY1xIBcFmZmckHxBa9d1OP-DoSFt46l6GMTQ4OMh1wW7l47oo7ilYATry6kQZh-TulF8v7fylj2Z2qGYh_CBaY4X7TqULlLQVxWKit1IKrou1RAEnORzpS/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFGElXvNXoEXcc2Oq0d7mcZAgY1xIBcFmZmckHxBa9d1OP-DoSFt46l6GMTQ4OMh1wW7l47oo7ilYATry6kQZh-TulF8v7fylj2Z2qGYh_CBaY4X7TqULlLQVxWKit1IKrou1RAEnORzpS/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /></b><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Empowering Solutions is the result of that search for the answers that set me free from that darkness that consumed my days, my nights and my life. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Welcome to </span><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=125715317495039&extragetparams=%7B%22directed_target_id%22%3A0%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions?ref=stream&directed_target_id=0" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;">Empowering Solutions</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">May we all find our power and create our "best life".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><i>In eternal gratitude that we share this journey.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Susan</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">PS</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">…does this post speak to you? </span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">Do you see yourself as wanting to grow but still stuck in the muck of the past, telling your story over and over; commiserating with others in telling their stories over and over? </span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">Are you tired of not being able to trust anyone? </span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">Are you ready to start learning how to trust yourself instead of blindly trusting everyone? </span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">Are you ready for some "empowering" solutions? </span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><b><span style="color: #333333;">Please join us at the </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" style="color: #333333;" target="_blank">Facebook community page</a><span style="color: #333333;"> for daily notes and inspiration to support you as you travel this path to your own "unlimited life" and don't forget to </span><span style="color: red;"><a href="http://www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.com/" target="_blank">subscribe</a></span><span style="color: #333333;"><a href="http://www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.com/" target="_blank"> at the <u>top of this page</u></a> for both blog updates and our very occasional newsletter. </span></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 17px;">You can also subscribe at <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions Radio</a> where we talk about the "how" behind breaking free from the drama, trauma and dysfunction that has been our life. </span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
<span style="height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com&send=true&layout=standard&width=450&show_faces=false&action=like&colorscheme=light&font&height=35" style="border: none; height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"></iframe></span> </i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-47376687871779291702013-10-17T09:06:00.000-05:002013-10-17T09:51:24.186-05:00I Found My Freedom When I Found My Power (Interdependence v.s. Dependence)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKzZ-UlZhtpAuHK6RKRqozwmD39iPvbNdL6PbKSI2YrNDAEGzd9vXzWWnvo4roNoRLLgpVgwR1zmK3_Spk7g2XIrx44L2NIROsCQIqKX8vK0XUh_dFllowaZbqA-xuhhL8Y43XmKA54gIY/s1600/the-journey-begun-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKzZ-UlZhtpAuHK6RKRqozwmD39iPvbNdL6PbKSI2YrNDAEGzd9vXzWWnvo4roNoRLLgpVgwR1zmK3_Spk7g2XIrx44L2NIROsCQIqKX8vK0XUh_dFllowaZbqA-xuhhL8Y43XmKA54gIY/s320/the-journey-begun-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>As things would have it - it is perhaps not quite time to retire this blog. I'm still not sure about the direction I'm going but I do know that my Journey is not over. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Therefore, todays post....</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>For a very long time I firmly believed that my "moods" were a "disorder". </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had been led to believe that the reason I struggled in life and relationships was not because of the pattern of trauma and abuse in my life <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/another-ranthow-i-became-suicidal.html" target="_blank">but because there was something wrong with my brain.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I discovered was that while this particular paradigm is the only one that we hear about most often in the context of "mental health"...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is not the only way to view the life issues that left us feeling unprepared to deal with life on life's terms.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact - <a data-mce-href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">after fifteen years of believing this and that I would never get "better"....</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a data-mce-href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">I found my freedom when I found my power</a><a data-mce-href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>This brings me to this...</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a recent post (elsewhere) I responded to an article where the focus was on "managing" "symptoms" of "disorders" like depression, anxiety etc via human connection. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This essay went on to say that this person was falling back into their anxiety and depression because on the weekends they did not have the structure they do during the week. The thing that "saved" them from falling into their dark hole was a friend who called to invite them to do something. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The response was <i>"you just gave me a reason to get out of bed". </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And - yes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We DO need human connection and love in our lives.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet - when we <i>need</i> others to "give us a reason to get out of bed" we are in fact being "dependent" vs "independent". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>And the idea that one must "live with" and "manage" "symptoms"....</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well - I see this as part of the issue with being dependent on others to do something in order for us to feel better. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Healthy "interdependent" relationships do not depend on others to do for us that which we can and should be doing for ourselves.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we are struggling with "symptoms" we can learn how to meet our own needs vs waiting for someone to rescue us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there is "disorder" - we can create "order" - and that began for me in realizing that waiting for someone to "give me a reason to live/get out of bed/go to school etc....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Was giving my power away. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/empowering-solutions.html" target="_blank">The "Empowering Solutions" project</a> is about us learning to take control of changing our lives v.s. <i>needing others or circumstances to change in order for our lives to change.<b> </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we are feeling hopeless we can find our hope by finding our power.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tip:</b> if you are feeling like you are falling into that dark place - try calling a friend to go do something instead of waiting for them to call you. If that friend is not available - call another. If that friend is not available just go for a walk or a bike ride and purpose to smile and say hello to everyone you pass. Make that human connection you are craving instead of waiting for someone to connect with you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can own the power we have to create the life we want instead of living a life we tolerate. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is it easy? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/07/pied-piper.html" target="_blank">Is it worth it?</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2009/09/today.html" target="_blank">Hell yes. </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Related: <a data-mce-href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/2013/09/27/defeating-depression/" href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/2013/09/27/defeating-depression/" target="_blank">Defeating Depression </a></span></div>
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<i>Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
</i><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com&send=true&layout=standard&width=450&show_faces=false&action=like&colorscheme=light&font&height=35" style="border: none; height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-84780748237088118112013-09-12T11:42:00.003-05:002014-06-21T07:48:32.943-05:00This Blog is Not Dead ....<i>This post will remain as a holding place and thank you note for following A Journey and on twitter - Zebdot :) I have enjoyed your notes, comments and emails over the past years. Please join me at my newest blog <a href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/" target="_blank">Empowering Solutions here</a> as I spread my own wings and live my passion to help others who felt hopeless and powerless to find their hope by finding their power. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and I hope to see you <a href="http://www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com/" target="_blank">there</a> and perhaps back here one day. Susan</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivsfXKKE0YAEMWGlOVeh8PwcO63wWtWDRq7ZwwlTqcAwbhrKQTPyGmtEMLfc1TLeAJkuTsh2GgHfqmP_ISgBUsTgwDm7UXT0GWTsv-xy9Q0w3uwBxCXfS3gnyR_L92XiWHcfh-brNiUMwq/s1600/HarrodsRubySlippers2009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivsfXKKE0YAEMWGlOVeh8PwcO63wWtWDRq7ZwwlTqcAwbhrKQTPyGmtEMLfc1TLeAJkuTsh2GgHfqmP_ISgBUsTgwDm7UXT0GWTsv-xy9Q0w3uwBxCXfS3gnyR_L92XiWHcfh-brNiUMwq/s320/HarrodsRubySlippers2009.jpg" height="278" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>This Blog is not dead - not by a long shot. </b><br />
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Although - it may seem that it is to the readers and followers who haven't seen me here in some time and that posts have been long in coming - when they do come.<br />
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The thing is....<br />
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<i><b>Life changes - and as it does....we need to be ready to change with it or risk getting lost in it. </b></i><br />
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This blog began in <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-wonderful-world.html" target="_blank">2009</a> when I was still experiencing the early aftermath of <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">being lost in the mental health system that told me my life "issues" were really an "illness".</a> <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/about-susan.html" target="_blank">You can read more about that here</a>. If you are interested to read more about the journey I experienced when I came off the drugs that I was told I would need "for life" <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/another-ranthow-i-became-suicidal.html" target="_blank">you can read about how I realized it was the drugs that were causing the "illness"</a> and how my <a href="http://beyondmeds.com/2010/07/21/susanajourney/" target="_blank">journey to freedom from them started in 2007 here at Beyond Meds. </a>And here you can read about how I found myself on an <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=paradigm" target="_blank">adventure of making sense of this paradigm of "illness" and how I discovered truths that "set me free".</a><br />
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<b>2009</b> was a year where I was trying to find my voice - literally. After a lifetime of being told by others that I held no value of my own - only what they gave me - I literally had no "voice"; I was shaking in my boots. I had no sense of "self"; I had no opinions of my own. I was a true "chameleon".<br />
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I struggled with knowing who I was, what I wanted, what I liked or disliked. This Blog became part of <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search/label/soul%20collage" target="_blank">my journey of self-discovery</a>; along the way I separated myself from those who needed me to be "less" so they could be "more". <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2009/12/today-i-will.html" target="_blank">I made the decision to exist. </a><br />
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The calendar turned and<b> 2010</b> rolled around. I had given much to doing the "hard work" of healing myself and my life from an early life of physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse that spanned my entire childhood. I understood the meaning of the poem by Patrick Overton and <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/p/i-believed.html" target="_blank">wrote my own version of it here</a>. The photo on that page tells the story well; I knew I could not NOT move forward - yet that was the only option I had at the time;<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/05/learning-to-live-is-different-than.html" target="_blank"> I could live or die trying</a>.<br />
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I was willing to <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it-going.html" target="_blank">"go through" the pain and struggle in order to "get out of it" </a>in order to get to my <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=best+life" target="_blank">"best life"</a>. I also realized that there was <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/09/there-is-no-one-to-blame.html" target="_blank">no one to "blame"a</a>nd as much as I wanted "justice" I had remind myself that while I was not responsible for what others did to me - I am solely responsible for what I do with what they did to me . Here I also <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/when-you-have-come-to-edge.html" target="_blank">wrote a blog post about how I learned to find my own courage </a>to do this. I learned a lot about <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/03/walk-in-compassion.html" target="_blank">Compassion</a> and learning to <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2011/12/peace-on-earth-goodwill-to-all.html" target="_blank">let go of the need for justice that I would never get. </a><br />
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I <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/michele-and-susan-at-blog-talk-radio.html" target="_blank">shared my story publicly for the first time in <b>April of 2010</b> </a>when Michele Rosenthal of <a href="http://www.healmyptsd.com/" target="_blank">Heal My PTSD</a> invited me to do a <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2010/02/michele-and-susan-at-blog-talk-radio.html" target="_blank">radio interview</a>. This in turn led to my own <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/heal-my-ptsd" target="_blank">Blog Talk Radio series with Heal My PTSD</a> and then in <b>2011</b> <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">my own Blog Talk Radio channel - Empowering Solutions</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">a Facebook page here. </a><br />
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The year <b>2012</b> continued to be part of this amazing journey. My private Facebook posts had become a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">community page</a>; people who were in pain and struggling continued to reach out to me as I continued to post all the while wondering just what it was that I had that they found themselves drawn to. And what I kept hearing over and over was "thank you. I have never heard this before", "Your post today hit home with me".<br />
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And I realized that it was true - this journey is NOT about "fixing" something that is "broken" but about<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=learning" target="_blank"> LEARNING how to do life differently;</a> how to "be" and <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/2012/01/no-one-could-empower-me-but-me.html" target="_blank">be separate</a> from those who tell us we don't exist or exist only to serve their purposes, what they give us "permission" for.<br />
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As 2012 came to a close I realized that a lot of what I had written in the past 4 years was <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=story" target="_blank">about the story we tell ourselves and how in changing the story - we could change our lives. </a> My posting schedule began to wax and wane. <a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-06:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-06:00&max-results=37" target="_blank">2012 closed with less than 40 posts</a> - all year and <b><a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2013-01-01T00:00:00-06:00&updated-max=2014-01-01T00:00:00-06:00&max-results=11" target="_blank">2013</a></b> has left me wondering: "<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=purpose" target="_blank">What is it that I am supposed to be doing?". </a><br />
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<b>So here we are. </b><br />
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2013 is slowly coming to a close and I do not feel that this is the "end" - but rather the beginning of a new adventure. An adventure that I'd like to invite you to join me on as we continue to explore the bigger world beyond our pain and struggle, finding our hope for a better future for ourselves and our families by finding that, like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ, we had the power all along:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 25px;">Dorothy: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 25px;">Glinda, the Good Witch: You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 25px;">Dorothy: I have?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 25px;">Scarecrow: Then why didn’t you tell her before?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 25px;">Glinda, the Good Witch: Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;"><i><b>I hope you'll join me here at the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Facebook Community page. </a></b></i></span><br />
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2014 is going to be a very good year - for all of us. :)<br />
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Namaste, bells, whistles and a little bit of Glinda's glitter.....:)<br />
<br />
Susan<br />
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<i>Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i>I found the task of the healing journey was to learn how to feel that which I had to not feel in order to survive. Beyond that it was learning to live in a world that had before been unsafe and engage in relationships when I'd not had healthy relationship modeled for me. This was learning to live from the inside out as the creator of my life instead of the outside in where I live on "hyper alert" and on guard, a victim of life. ~Susan Kingsley-Smith</i></span></div>
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Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com&send=true&layout=standard&width=450&show_faces=false&action=like&colorscheme=light&font&height=35" style="border: none; height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-22402133381976817562013-05-27T01:00:00.000-05:002013-05-28T12:08:30.319-05:00The Light At The End Of The Tunnel<br />
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<a href="http://1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-e1265571914899.jpg?w=255&h=220" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-e1265571914899.jpg?w=255&h=220" /></a></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">This journey?<br />
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The path to our "best life"?<br />
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Begins here.<br />
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Today.<br />
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Right now.<br />
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The past sucked.<br />
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The task is to learn how to let it go - not "get over it".<br />
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How do we do that?</b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">By choosing to "let go" instead of trying to pretend it never happened, didn't hurt and did not affect us. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">By choosing to "let go" instead of holding on as though without our pain we would not exist.<br />
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How do we do this? </b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We feel and express the ANGER. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>We "let it out" in ways that are safe for us and does not hurt or offend others. We stop expecting others to "help" and we just let it out when it comes up. </i> </span><br />
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We feel the deep, gut wrenching GRIEF instead of letting it consume us. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>We fall on the floor sobbing and bawling. It would be nice to know someone will comfort us but if we wait for that to move on - some of will be waiting a lifetime. We grieve the sadness of all we lost and will never have. We grieve the losses and let go of the hope that "maybe they will change". We grieve and give our souls time to mourn for as long as we need. </i>
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We CHOOSE to move on and let the past go as we learn to focus on creating the life we want instead of blaming those in our past for the life we have. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">We CHOOSE to learn to let go of the anger and the grief for a moment that we might learn to live for a lifetime.<br />
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How often do we do this?</b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">As long as we need to and then maybe longer.</span></div>
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In the beginning it will be often and in time it will be less.<br />
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The key is - to just do it and then do it again. </i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>This is the task of learning to do life differently in order to have a different life. </b></span></div>
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This is how we reach the light at the end of the tunnel.</div>
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<b>You can do this. </b></div>
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Is it hard? </div>
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Yes. </div>
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<b>And I am so sorry for your pain. </b></div>
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<i>Yet it is learning to let it go that it no longer consumes and cripples us. </i></div>
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I know its hard and I know you can handle it. </div>
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My heart is with you.</div>
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Susan </div>
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<i>Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™</i><br />
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Thanks for following, reading and sharing!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-60347610522775499652013-05-20T01:00:00.000-05:002013-05-20T01:00:10.276-05:00Offering Advice - Or Butting In? Two Ways To Use This To Fuel Your Journey<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>Dysfunction is NOT about the others in our lives who behave badly. Its about what we do in our relationships that contribute to the dysfunction - and learning to do it differently. Today I'd like to explore a topic that was SUCH a big deal for me in my own journey and in the understanding of it - became a truth that set me free. </i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>Advice that we did not ask for is not advice - it's butting in. </b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Setting "boundaries" on this issue is NOT about "making" others stop doing this but about knowing when to make space and keep our distance with those who don't get it. </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.heart.org/idc/groups/heart-public/@wcm/@private/@hcm/documents/image/ucm_301229@z_extracted~1/large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="139" src="http://www.heart.org/idc/groups/heart-public/@wcm/@private/@hcm/documents/image/ucm_301229@z_extracted~1/large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>In healthy relationships</b> we can say <i>"I really just need/want to be heard and validated when I "share" my struggle with you"; it is not so helpful when you tell me what to do or offer advice I did not ask for". </i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In this scene our friend/family will most likely <b>acknowledge</b> that their advice was not helpful; maybe even <b>apologize</b> for being assumptive that we needed "help" we did not ask for. In the future - they will make an effort to <b>respect</b> that "boundary" or "limit" that you have set for yourself.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.richlymiddleclass.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/dysfunctional-family-640x426.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.richlymiddleclass.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/dysfunctional-family-640x426.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>In an unhealthy relationship</b> this request will most often turn into another drama situation. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The individual will likely become either <b>aggressive</b> and "turn it back on you" or they will become <b>passive</b> and avoid you - their feelings will be hurt, they may even imply that what you said is responsible for their hurt feelings. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i>They may try to shame you for setting this limit and making this request. </i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">They may become sarcastic and in other circumstances make cutting remarks about "not offending you". </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i>They will not make any attempt to really respect your request and in time will simply resume assuming they know whats best for you and test to see if you will say anything again. </i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">They will assume you will not withdraw and if you do they may attack you and try to somehow bully you to return to allowing them to be "in your business". </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i>If you try to limit what you "share" very often this person will be offended and try to "draw" information from you while not sharing about their own life. </i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>This information about the difference between functional/dysfunctional relationships empowered me in 2 ways. </b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">1. To choose the relationships that were healthy and stop investing time in relationships that were not. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">2. To start recognizing this behavior in <b>myself</b> and "owning up" and making "amends" with those I had pushed my own views on and offered "help" that was not asked for on.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b> It allowed me to start seeing where I was doing this to others so that I could change this in myself. </b></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Dysfunction is NOT about the others in our lives that behave badly. Its about what we do in our relationships - and learning to do it differently.</span></div>
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Its easy to focus on what others are doing or not doing that we'd like them to change. </div>
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<b><i>The challenge is to learn to see what we are doing and what we can change that makes the difference. </i></b></div>
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Umhmmmm...</div>
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I'm feelin' your pain and watching you gain your own power to change your own life.</div>
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From the inside out. </div>
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This - is the Hard Work. </div>
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For more on creating the kind of change that can change our lives....<a href="http://zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com/search?q=the+hard+work" target="_blank">visit this page where you can find more on what that "Hard Work" is about....</a></div>
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You can do this. :) </div>
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Best always,</div>
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Susan</div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>Find the Empowering Solutions Fan page on Facebook here - receive the daily notes in your own Facebook stream....<a href="http://www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions" target="_blank">Click here to go there. </a></b></span></div>
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<i>Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™</i><br />
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<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com&send=true&layout=standard&width=450&show_faces=false&action=like&colorscheme=light&font&height=35" style="border: none; height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-3497683174561096782013-05-13T01:00:00.000-05:002013-05-13T01:00:05.321-05:00Complaining<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.magicalmaths.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/questions_answers_6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="http://www.magicalmaths.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/questions_answers_6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">When I started looking inward for my solutions I realized that "complaining" was my immature way of saying "I don't know what to do to fix this problem for myself". </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">The empowering solution?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Lie in learning to look for what I could do to set things right for myself instead of what I wanted others to do to make things right FOR me.</span><br />
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<i>Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™</i><br />
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<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com&send=true&layout=standard&width=450&show_faces=false&action=like&colorscheme=light&font&height=35" style="border: none; height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-24434862658802220712013-05-06T08:07:00.002-05:002013-05-06T08:07:46.802-05:00Seeking and Searching<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://img.podbean.com/itunes-logo/18286/9699625magnifyingforweb.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://img.podbean.com/itunes-logo/18286/9699625magnifyingforweb.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;" /><b><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Its when we go from searching to doing that we get it done.</span></i></b><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">I can say this because this was one of my own "Life Lessons".....and a very empowering solution :) </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">What one action could you take today that would shift you from seeking and searching to "doing"?</span></span><br />
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Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™
<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=www.zebraspolkadotsandplaids.blogspot.com&send=true&layout=standard&width=450&show_faces=false&action=like&colorscheme=light&font&height=35" style="border: none; height: 35px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5418296591871311209.post-14449072950901271912013-05-03T12:15:00.000-05:002013-05-03T12:15:02.421-05:00There Was a Reason<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">From the Empowering Solutions Facebook page recently...</span><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">There was a reason I struggled and suffered and it wasn't because something was "wrong" with me but that I'd been conditioned from early on to tolerate the intolerable; to not resist, to surrender my power, to be compliant and obedient. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">My empowering solution came in the form of learning to recognize that depression, irritability, anger, anxiety and fear were NOT "just how I was" but that this was how I'd learned to cope and survive - by denying my true value and potential, surrendering my power and living in chronic frustration of not liking the way I was being treated yet - not knowing what to do to help myself. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">It was in recognizing that the depression, irritability, anger, anxiety and fear were symptoms of feeling overwhelmed and powerless AND THEN not focusing on "why do I feel so bad" or what others were doing that seemed to be causing me pain...</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">...but instead in CHOOSING to shift to "what am I feeling powerless over and what can I do about it to change this for myself?" is where I found the power to take the actions that would create the change that changed my life. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">There is nothing "wrong" with us who have struggled and we CAN learn the skills to change our life - "for life".</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">Really. </span></i><br />
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Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™<br />
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