The Sting of Stigma: Conclusion

Kate's and Kristin's experiences is one that too many of us have faced in this journey.

So is Mels and Julies, Steves, Rebekahs and every other wounded warrior who has fought the fight to exist in a world that treats them often as though they don't exist and are in some way "defective" instead of "injured" , "ill" vs "overwhelmed" and "mental" instead of "developmentally" traumatized.

In my own personal observations and life experiences it is this kind of treatment that fuels the isolation, shame and sense of hopelessness and helplessness that leaves some folks unable to continue to travel their life path, opting instead to hide their pain in addiction and other avoidance behaviors including acting out against others, or acting in in the way of self harm, depression, dissociation or even opting for that very permanent solution of suicide to a problem that is not at all as hopeless as we have been led to believe.

It is often said that a loving, supportive environment with clear boundaries is the one thing that makes a difference to someone struggling with the emotional and cognitive distress related to what is termed "mental illness".

But how often does this actually happen within home and family - or community? Even in the medical, mental health and social welfare systems "consumers"issues - from foster children to senior citizens - are often dismissed as attention seeking or med seeking and very often life threatening issues are dismissed as in the story of Mel's friend Julie or being "unheard" as in Rebekah's story here or the family rejection as in Kristin's comment in the post about Rebekah's journey.

So what's the solution?

Join me here next week to take a look at a paradigm shift from "mental illness" to "mental wellness" beginning with the idea of creating the life we want...on purpose:)

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Dictionary.com: Stigma; a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.Medicine/Medical: a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease

Q: What's your take on the solution to the "mark" of "mental illness"?

The Sting of Stigma Part 4: Kate's and Kristin's Stories

Dictionary.com: Stigma; a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation. Medicine/Medical: a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease

A few weeks ago I posted a story that I found at Beyond Meds, The Wind Never Lies by Steve Morgan; and the comments have been coming in at a steady pace from all over the world via this blog, Twitter and at Facebook.

And the message I'm hearing is this; "Thank you for bringing up this subject, this happened to me too."

Below are two more comments; one from a Facebook friends, Kate, who agreed to let me share it with you and Kristin...

Last week Kate left this message in a comment on the post The Sting of Stigma - Part 3.

"I noticed that no one gets flowers in the psych hospital. As the central office secretary for the school district, I ordered dozens of bouquets for employees, spouses and students when there was an illness or injury. People in my small town have fundraisers, bottle drives and public suppers when someone has surgery, but when I had a psychotic break and landed in the psych ward? Not so much as a card. No one would talk about it, people avoided me. No one noticed when my car was repossessed - by then most of the friends I though I had faded away. Some people even accused me of making it all up, for attention. Funny, I never heard anyone accuse someone of making up a gall bladder attack or cancer..."

Kate continues...

"I was taught from infancy that I was bad, I was worthless and caused trouble for those around me, so it was a natural conclusion that my symptoms represented more evidence that I was defective. It is a huge paradigm shift to move from "I am defective/sick" to "I was abused". It is an even greater shift to conclude that others abused me and that I am reacting to that injury - I am not, in fact, defective, but responding appropriately to very inappropriate events.

Thanks for your post - it is a great perspective."

You can connect with Kate at her blog here.

And here is what Kristin, Mom to a young woman who fights her own battles each day, has to say in the comments of this same post...The Sting of Stigma - Part 3.

"lifeisterminal is am so sorry. It is so unfair. Your post is great, Susan. Thank you. Even in my own family the stigma reins. My daughter is "spoiled" not mentally ill. The book I wrote about her struggle and our family's fruitless search for help should be put under the bed and forgotten. Or, better yet, destroyed. And, on the count of three, smile - everyone, no exceptions...

Only, it doesn't work like that for my daughter and trying to explain why she doesn't feel like smiling is impossible because no one believes me. Like I made up mental illness to cover for her "bad behavior". It is disappointing but I hope that the more people talk openly about mental illness, the more the stigma will fall away. xx Kris"

Kris added this on another post...

"This reminds me of why my daughter once said to me, "I wish I had cancer." It was a devastating choice - to choose to have cancer over mental illness but I could totally understand her point of view. And, here is the proof that she was right; people with cancer do get the attention that she was looking for. The kind of caring approval that has been missing from her life. xx Kris"

You can find Kristin at her blog Borderline Families.

Stigma: Stigma; a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation. Medicine/Medical: a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease

Stigma sucks.

Remove the "mark" - remove the shame.

It's that easy.

Next week we'll conclude this series The Sting of Stigma...and begin a journey into the idea of a new paradigm - an idea, a thought, a change - about shifting away from the shame related to "mental illness" toward a new paradigm of claiming and creating a new world for ourselves...a world full of empowering solutions.

The Sting of Stigma; "The Wind Never Lies" Part 3 PTSd

Dictionary.com: Stigma; a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation. Medicine/Medical: a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease

This post is a follow up to a very real issue that anyone who is labeled with the words "mental illness" faces; the discrimination that comes with the stigma of being "marked" as different.

Here is a link to "The Wind Never Lies" part 1.

Here is a link to The Sting of Stigma and Unconditional Love; The Wind Never Lies Part 2

Below is the continuation of this very important conversation during this years "May is Mental Health Awareness Month"...which seems to me a tad ironic since it's not "Mental Health" that is stigmatized but those who bear the mark of the beast - "Mental Illness".

This experience of stigma, shame, discrimination is more common than many realize. Once given this "mark", the label of "mental illness" the battle becomes not just one of learning to cope when our internal resources are clearly depleted - but also a fight for ones basic rights to be treated with dignity and respect and oftentimes a battle just to be heard.

Rebekah at Facebook left this comment about Part 2 of this series and gave me permission to share it here:

"I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago and was on meds for all of that time and went through the emotions that Steve talked about (The Wind Never Lies) and no one would listen to me after I was given that label and hospitalized twice, and they still dont, but I know that what I REALLY have is PTSD, and no amount of mood stabilizing medication makes that better, misdiagnosis is so common and so many people just take the meds and dont question it, but now I am finally dealing with the REAL problem and things are getting better. Thank you Susan for posting this :)"

Thank you Rebekah, for being willing to share your story with us.

Stigma; a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation. Medicine/Medical: a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease

If you've had a similar experience I'd like to invite you to contact me if you would like to share your story in some way.

You can leave your comment here or reach me via Facebook here or Twitter here.

Q: How has the label of "mental illness" affected your life - good or bad?

The Sting of Stigma and Unconditional Love: "The Wind Never Lies" Part 2

Here is a link to read part one of "The Wind Never Lies" by Steve Morgan

The comment below came from Mel, a friend on Facebook, who had this to tell me about a friends tragic journey through the mental health system after reading my post (an excerpt) from "The Wind Never Lies" - you can read the original and entire article here at Beyond Meds.

"Thank you so much for sharing this little treasure Susan! I'm still reading but there are so many things that jump out; ah ha...

Years before my trauma, when life was stable with good health my best friend was diagnosed with Bipolar. This was my first real intimate exposure to mental illness. Over the next five years I would visit her everyday during the 2 -3 times a year when she was hospitalized.

After 5 years from her diagnosis, she developed stiff neck and crossed eyed syndrome while we were on a weekend whistler trip. Within days she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She was given weeks to live.

Did she fall between the cracks of the medicare system? Who knows, they say bipolar can mimic brain tumors. They never investigated the possibility of anything other than she is crazy and lets load her up on pills and ECT treatment.

My point is, as she lay dying in the hospital, so many people began to arrive to pay their respects to her, her husband and family, the same people who made jokes and abandoned her years prior. The stigma attached to labeling someone can be so harsh.

Perhaps my exposure to how society views mental illness has contributed to my own isolation living with PTSD, fear of being stuck forever in this place which others say I cannot recover from and heal."

( Below is the response I got from Mel when I asked if I could publish her story here...this note is a true portrayal of what unconditional love looks like in action....)

"For sure you can post it. I love talking about Julie's story. She was so amazing. Funny thing was I always told her I didnt think she was bipolar, some would view her as acting crazy at times but strangely I saw it as being in another dimension or something. I never told her that seeing men in trees was her imagination, just that I couldnt see them. I spent the last 5 years of her life protecting her and not from herself but from the cruelty of society...

The cool thing about her case is a board member of opthamology in BC pushed the government to include eye care into the medicare coverage. He was really moved by her case and felt she could have been diagnosed earlier had she been to get her eyes checked regularly. "

Once given the label "Mental Illness" many become "marked" and treated as "less than". Once this mark has been given, it often becomes the basis for discrimination, abuse and neglect.

Stop the Sting of Stigma.

You can find Mel on Facebook here.

If you or someone you know has had similar experiences, I would like to invite you to contact me by leaving a comment here or...

Via Facebook here

Via twitter click here