12 Things to support you in your journey - Part 3 ((conclusion))

Photo by Sergey Chuprin on Unsplash

Today we'll tie up this series...for those of you who are just joining us, you can read up on Part 1 here and Part 2 here of "12 Things....".

Today - the conclusion of my first "list series " 12 Things to Support you in your Journey"...and again -please forgive the formatting:)...

1. 9. Separating myself from “diagnosis”. I’ve written quite a bit on this but wanted to mention it because this was vital for me to begin to see myself as a “person” who had some “issues” and that I could “learn” how to affect change in my life. “Diagnosis” is static, unmoving. “Issues” can be dealt with. Here's a link to my posts that contain "diagnosis" or you can search for yourself at the top left corner to see what else you can find.
2. 10. Recognize this is a process, not a destination. This is a process of "self discovery", not another avenue that affords a promised "fix" or "recovery" that requires constant monitoring and focus on avoiding triggers and managing compulsions. Be committed and trust the process and you will be amazed at the payoff. Think “learning opportunity” vs. failure.
3. 11. Commit to being a lifelong learner. I had to let go of the idea of being "fixed" as in "broken" and begin to see myself as a living, breathing organism that is constantly growing, repairing, changing to adapt to my environment - and with the gift of intelligence that could take me anywhere I could imagine... if I would just "imagine". There is no more viewing myself as broken, defective or "ill". I no longer think “oh, after I read this book I’ll be “fixed” and “done”. Nope. I had to commit to being just as committed about learning to live in “wellness” as I was about learning to live as whatever the “diagnosis du jour” was.
4. 12. Giving up is no longer an option. My mantra became “Giving up is no longer an option; there is ALWAYS a solution". "Acting out" and "acting in" had to at some point become inaccessible as a solution and once I understood the purpose those behaviors served I was better equipped to begin to entertain the idea that I could - here's that "magic" word again - LEARN new ways of dealing with life's issues other than falling apart or sinking into depression (or dissociation) that consumed me. Over time, one by one, I learned to recognize my “avoidant” behaviors and identify new ways of managing my thoughts, emotions, behaviors - and identifying the faulty beliefs I held in order to cultivate a new belief system...A belief system based on the idea that I truly held the power to create this new life for myself and this is where the hope began to take shape when I took the action to live the life I chose for myself based on "wellness".

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Thanks for joining me here this past week as I offered my very first "list" post of some of the "how to's" behind my own personal journey from "there"....to "here" where I learned to create the life I wanted - in spite of the past I'd had.

IfIyou found value in this post or series - please forward the links to others who may be interested to follow along as we travel this path together discovering the wonderful world of living that self empowered life and creating our best life each day...

12 Things to support you in your journey - Part 2

"Confidence"

Photo Credit

Welcome to Part 2 of "12 things"...and of course - Blogger and I have not figured out what the issue is with the formatting....:) *sigh* :)

You can catch Part 1 of "12 things" here....

1. 5. Know and use your resources. This was where I started branching out and developing relationships and resources outside of those I'd become dependent on, where I could learn to "walk" before I tried to "run" independently of the "therapeutic" relationships I had come to rely on in my journey through (and out of:)) the current model of the mental health system.
2. 6. Compartmentalize your life. One skill that I was lacking in the beginning was the ability to compartmentalize my life and relationships. Everyone knew everything about me – because I wanted everyone’s opinion about what I should do next; I lacked "confidence" and had a desperate need for external direction and validation. This one goes along with #4 – I first learned how to and then started dealing with my own issues and not looking to others to “make me feel better” and instead learned to develop intimate relationships where I would practice being vulnerable and trusting others who would validate my experiences rather than trying to “fix” me or my life and recognizing the difference layers of relationships from “acquaintance” to “intimate”.
3. 7. Boundaries. Huge issue. Huge. This one will take some time to delve into – but a good place to start is paying attention to “whats mine” and “whats yours”. A quick look at what boundaries are and are not. Personal boundaries have nothing to do with influencing what others do...and everything about what I will allow into my world or share of myself with the world. One of my biggest frustrations in trying to learn how to establish and enforce personal boundaries was when they were discussed in the context of "what you will allow others to do". I found it more helpful to define boundaries as "what I will choose to reveal about myself" and "what I will allow in to my world, my personal space". This empowered me to let go of thinking I had to try to control what others did and said - and allowed me to learn to say "this is ok or not ok" and choose if I would continue this relationship or if the behaviors of another had become "intolerable". If this is a problem for you you might want to look at my post "I didn't know that I didn't know (I had been abused). Awareness is the place to start with this one and takes us to…
4. 8. Awareness. Learning to pay attention to my own thoughts, emotions and physical body - and dig down to the beliefs that fueled the entire symphony of "me". Another biggie that is way more deserving of a massive amount of space. Also – something to begin to be “aware” of:) You can listen to the Blog Talk Radio program from Heal My PTSd about "awareness" as an empowering solution here.

Thanks for reading along this week...this series will finish up this coming Monday as we look at the final 4 points in my list of suggestions to support and empower you in your own personal journey...

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Q: Which of the tips today did you find most helpful?

My first "list" post! "12 things to support you in your journey" - Part 1 of 3

Photo Credit here

Ok then...I don’t often get into offering sage advice here on “A Journey”. Typically my writing is more story telling I suppose.

Yet lately I’ve been hearing from many who are unsure of how this new paradigm of “wellness” applies to them if their path looks different than mine. So today – my first “list” post broken down into a series of 3 posts to accommodate those of us (me:) ) who get lost in “really long posts”…and as things would have it...Blogger and I don't seem to be communicating well and thus the formatting is a bit off...but on to the "list"!

Here we go:

1. 1. Believe. “If you think you can – or can’t – you’re right” ~Henry Ford. Change begins with believing that change is possible. When I was stuck on defending the old…there was no room for me to even consider any “new” in my world.
2. 2. Learn. When I was dependent on others to tell me what to do and provide me with my solutions I was “fed for a day”. Eventually, I figured out that I had to stop asking to be “fed”….and go teach myself to “fish” so I could “feed myself for a lifetime" through gaining my own knowledge about my life issues and discovering my own solutions.
3. 3. Know what you want. I wanted to “get a life”. I wanted to learn how to be ok in the world and not expect others to adjust or accommodate me in order to be “ok”. I wanted to live a life free of the labels, shame and discrimination that comes with accepting being defined by someone else. I simply wanted to a person and learn how to live beyond coping and surviving. I wanted to live the best life possible – to create the life I believed I deserved.
4. 4. Be responsible. There was a day not all that long ago when I felt completely alone and terrified. That was the day I said “I am responsible for the outcome of my life”. That was the day I stood at the top of that mountain, leaned into the wind….closed my eyes…and let go. You can see my version of the Patrick Overton poem here.

Thanks for reading today! I hope you'll join me here Wednesday for Part 2 of my (very first!!) list post of "12 things to support you in your journey"!

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