On Grief and Loss

On grief and loss - I know the pain that feels as though death would be the only relief and have found a new life after that kind of inner devastation. 

Let those big feelings out. Don't try to contain them for they will consume you from the inside out. Find a way to safely express your anger, angst and pain through some physical form. Run it out, walk it out, scream it out. Throw something and let it make the loud noise against the wall as you fall to the floor sobbing.

Let go of those unable to sit with you or your pain. Let them go that you can find yourself. Dont try to find comfort from those who are not comforting. Give yourself a soft place to land each day. Visit the trees. Walk in the grass. Breathe with the clouds and know that with time it will hurt less and the hurt will come less often even though we know it never goes away completely.

Know that you are not alone.

Grief is an Emotion, Not an "illness"

Photo credit links to story on Oprah.com

I don't often watch television since I've left behind "illness" for this new, full life of "wellness"...

I don't watch a lot of television but one day earlier this week I got home and flipped on the tv to a program on Oprah. The story was heart-wrenching - when he was just 9, Aaron's twin brother died of a brain tumor.

Aaron told his Mom that he "didn't want to be here anymore".

Aaron's Mom of course, calls the pediatrician who saved Aaron's life in more ways than one.

First, instead of labeling him "mentally ill" with "suicidal ideation" and "clinical depression" and so on....

she listened to him and heard his pain, saw his grief.

Then she helped Nate to make meaning from this horrendous loss and honor his brothers memory by using his pain to fuel his passion for cooking.

Grief is a normal human emotion....

a normal human response to loss

not an illness.

Aaron missed the "magic bullet" and the drugs that would have changed him and his life forever.

Three cheers and a whole bunch of hurrahs for a doctor who listened and allowed this boy his tears instead of labeling him "disordered" and giving him that lifetime membership to "Club MI".

You can read the entire story here.

This blog is about my journey.

It is also about shining the light on the path for others....it's about the process of finding our own power through believing in ourselves as our source, finding hope when hope was lost.

But today this is about me and my path. My story. My loss. My grief.

Thank you for walking beside me today.

water of spring gives
the seed new life after sleep
tears wash the soul free

In Memory - Life is a song....Patrick Park

This is a repost in memory of the friend who suggested this song to me.

Walk on and be in peace, my friend. May your spirit ride the wings of eagles and rest within the warmth of your pack.

Originally posted March 29 2009.

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness


Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to song along
Until the very ending


Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in


Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul
But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go


Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in


Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all