Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I Was Looking for Happy....In All the Wrong Places

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

I remember being asked...

"So when will you be happy?" by those who seemed to have some secret that I didn't know about. My life was miserable. My relationships were often full of strife, my job was never the right job, my boss never the right boss, my hair, my weight, my car, clothes....

Were never just "enough".

I used to strive to be more, have more, do more. My value, my worth and my happiness were determined by people places and things that I could have, be or do.

The thing was - my focus on doing and having really didn't have much effect on my state of being and being happy.

I was happy for a minute if all worked out the way I thought it should work out.

Likewise if there were any snafu's I was not so happy and often sad or angry but not often truly "happy" but for a minute or two - when all was sparkly shiny and new.

Learning to understand that my state of well being was dependent on things outside of myself motivated me to search for the answers to being happy when the people places and things outside of my physical person didn't dance to my tune the way I thought they should.

I sought and I found that in letting go of the outcomes I usually got the outcome that I wanted.

Learning to let life unfold naturally meant learning to recognize when I was seeking my happiness in all the wrong places....

And that when I stopped looking...under the rocks, at the mall, the car dealership, the mortgage company or the boyfriend, husband, kids...

I found it in myself. :)
~

Happiness is (Not Always) A Choice Read here about how by understanding the source of my pain I was able to finally let go of it :)

Friday, August 5, 2011

Happiness Is (Not Always) A Choice

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!
Photo Credit
One of the things that I hear from survivors around the world is how the "positivity" movement neglects to take into account the reality of the traumatic experience.

Its as though somehow magically if we paste a smile on our faces and do the infamous "fake it till you make it" thing that our pain and distress will just....

poof!

Disappear.

And to those well intentioned folks who continue to tout the idea that the past has no impact on today I'm going to respectfully say...

Not. 

Over at Emerging From Broken trauma survivor and Coach Darlene Ouimet has posted yet another article on learning to live beyond broken and how happiness for someone who has been given the burden to make everyone else happy by discounting their own pain - is really not a choice.

Read up on this post here at Darlenes Blog....

It is only by understanding the source of our pain that we are often able to let go of it.

The benefit of this is that we can finally begin to see that we truly do hold the power over our own lives - but only after we give responsibility for others lives and happiness back to them.
~

From the archives...

Being Positive vs Being Pollyanna and Part 2 here is a guest post by Danni of Positively Present that discusses the difference between positivity that denies reality and that which honors it.