perfection

Perfection lives only in that space between where we are and where we want to be.

It is that ideal where we have arrived and are finally enough.

The only problem?

Is that perfection is elusive.

It slips in through the whispers of those who are still seeking it...

And leaves devastation in its wake.

Perfection?

Is what is.

Is where we are

not where we've been

or where we are going.

It

simply

is.

You are in the perfect place.


It is the perfect time. 

And...

Its never


ever


"too late".

Why?

Because you are in the perfect place at the perfect time to become the creator of your perfect life.

The only hitch?

Is to learn that the only perfect time...

Is now.

I'll be here - holding your place in line....:)

Susan




Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

We are alone

Alone. And loving it:) 

We are alone.

This...was one of those "awakenings" I'd experienced.

You see....coming from the background I did (NOT "Ozy and Harriet style) I had always felt alone.

I never felt as though I "belonged" anywhere.

Not in my family, my community...

"Friends" were few and far between, if at all.

I considered myself a "loner" - sort of.

At other times I thought of myself as a "people person"...which was usually when I was writing my resume (had to be that chameleon:)).

Then one day a very wise person who had traveled this path before me said the most astounding thing - a thing I had never considered...

That we are ALL "alone".

And what I realized is that I was still stuck in the childlike place where I just wanted to be...

loved.

So I was thinking that because I didn't "feel" loved that I didn't "belong" anywhere.

I had carried that overwhelming lonliness from my childhood where I sat alone on the long davenport (yeah..back then a long couch was a "davenport"...for whatever that has to do with anything:)).

And in that second...that "aha" where I realized that I had been trying to create the "love" that I had not experienced in all the things I did, trying to do them "right enough".

Trying to "be" "good enough"....

Wishing to be "smart enough"...

And I was never...

enough.

So since that day of my "aha" moment?

I began to see that I was "enough".

That my best was "good enough".

That I wasn't just "smart enough" but I began to see myself as fricking "brilliant"....

Because of course - I'd survived.

And I realized that while I had learned to adapt and cope in ways that supported "survival"...

That was no  longer enough.

And I realized that by knowing that I was "alone" - just like everyone else in this world...

I no longer had to seek my worth, value and "belonging" in others because I...

very simply

was enough.

I knew from deep within that no matter what I had or didn't have...

The family or friends?

They could never "make" me feel as though I was "enough" to be accepted

but that I had to accept myself

and then

I would belong

anywhere I went.

In the light and hope for your to find your own forever "you"....

Susan

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Feelings....

From the Empowering Solutions page this past week...

Understanding and viewing anger as something to be managed, controlled or denied was not helpful to me and left me feeling shame for feeling angry at being abused and violated. Learning to view my anger from the perspective of informing my next steps freed me to feel empowered. Now a feeling of anger indicates not that I am needing to control this natural response but perhaps not be so tolerant of being mistreated.

Learning to listen to my feelings instead of "manage" them.....

Enabled me to also feel them instead of avoid them.

Yup!

I knew you'd get it!

In the light always!

Susan

Photo

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here

Where I was Free

Sunspot 2010

Today...try stopping for a moment and notice from within ie "consciously" ...how your body feels. Stretch up....breath in....let it out....this was the beginning of learning to see that "I" was separate from my experiences and other individuals. That my past no longer defined me but I became the designer of who I wanted to be. This was the beginning of knowing my truth; the place where I realized I was free.

I heart you....

Susan:) 

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

From the Archives....Letting Life Unfold Naturally

Learning to let life unfold...
naturally:)

Sometimes I like to go back and revisit the archives....so today...a few posts on the idea of learning to live in acceptance and letting go of controlling the outcome...


From Sunday March 10, 2010....Choosing to Trust Life was an exploration into how learning to trust myself instead of being dependent on others empowered me to see that I could live in a place of ease. Learning to recognize how I was trying to influence and control others and other circumstances was the beginning of learning to recognize where my power truly lies.

Tuesday May 4, 2010....To Let Life Unfold....Naturally is a post about the awareness that in learning to let others control themselves and their destiny...freed me to control mine.


Sunday August 11, 2011...Looking for Happy in all the Wrong Places.... is a post telling the story behind how learning to let go...most often gave me what I was looking for all along.

Friday September 23, 2011...Learning to Let Life Unfold Naturally....Learning to see that it was my need to control people places and things that was the source of the constant drama in my life....is how I learned to let go.

Learning to "see" the things in me that kept me from a life of ease was the beginning of learning to let go and the result was that I could finally live.

Yup.

Getting a life....

Meant learning to let go of everyone else's:)

Uh hum....

Scary at first but....

This was one of those "truths"...

That set me free.

XOXO

Susan:)

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Learning to Live is Different than Waiting to Die

Newport Beach, California 2010

Learning to create my life from the inside out is THE most "em"powering lesson I learned.

In a nutshell:

First....I  AM powerless over things that exist outside of my physical body - people, places and things or circumstances that exist outside of my personal physical self and environment.

This includes other people....

The things they...

Think, do and say.

The way others express their own needs in the things they do and say - is outside of my control or influence.

 A helpful hint I found about putting this in perspective....

Keeping in mind that when someone begins a sentence with "You...." what they are saying is "I am feeling angry or afraid that this is outside of my control and I need to try to shape or influence what you are doing or saying to make myself feel safe". 

Huge life lesson for me and one I am still learning day by day.

The key was to learn to see this in myself that I could have compassion for those who couldn't see it at all.

Secone....I am NOT powerless over what I do think feel or say or...the story I tell myself about the things that are outside of my control. 

Which sort of flies in the face of those who for many years told me that I was actually powerless over my thoughts, feelings, moods, physical health, my body....

That something was "wrong" with me....not the abuse, neglect and emotional/psychological brainwashing that left me believing they were right. 

Yet - here I am today...no longer depressed, chronically dissociating, feeling fragmented, alone or isolated. 

Learning to listen to my inner world that I might create the outer world, life and circumstances that allows me to live and experience my "best life"...even when things aren't so good. 

The key here?

Learning to recognize that where others told me I was powerless, disordered and that my distress was chronic long lasting and unchangeable...

These individuals were often also profiting from my dependence on them in one way or another either directly or indirectly.

A key component in any abusive relationship is when someone says...

Something is wrong with you and you can't do this without me. 

That goes for family, friends and health care providers.

We always have a choice and any "provider" or person that encourages dependence?

Well...I lived in that place for nearly 20 years while under the influence of chemicals that inhibited my ability to think clearly or function in any capacity so ....ummm...I sort of have some prejudice about working with therapists and other "mental health" providers - but...this post about finding helpful help - might be helpful: How to tell an average therapist from a great therapist and see my post I am not a can of soup here to read about how I began to learn the language of life around re-defining who I chose to be...my "self". 

The life lesson? 

• I AM powerless over circumstances and situations that exist outside of my personal physical, emotional, environmental space

Which also means...

• I am NOT powerless over the environment I choose to create and where my physical, emotional and psychological "self" resides and....

The next life lesson?


Its up to me to create a place of safety for myself.

As a child - I had not choice, no resources, no escape.

As an adult...

Well....

If I'm still in unsafe environments where I'm still being put down, shut up, dismissed or abused in any way...

Then its up to me to learn to use the resources available to find my way to safety and understand that while that may have been my normal...


It is not healthy and I can learn to live beyond that place where I felt as though it was my responsibility to change who I was and tolerate being abused and otherwise mistreated in order to not be abandoned. 



Truth is....

While I still felt "childlike" and wished, hoped and dreamed for my "knight in shining armor"...

What I found...

Is that no one can rescue an adult. 


And...


That adults cannot be abandoned. 


We make choices to stay or to go. 


Abandonment "issues" are issues to be resolved and when they aren't - they are often recreated. 

Bottom line for me became understanding that the learned helplessness and fear of abandonment of the past fueled that sense of hopelessness as an adult that left me unable to see that I was truly the creator of my today and my tomorrow. 

I felt helpless to shape my "self" let alone my world or life experiences. 

It was in learning the language of life....

That I began to become the creator of...my life:) 

You may have been powerless - but are no longer. 

The key is to learn to identify that feeling powerless...

Is much different than being powerless.

Learning to live is different than waiting to die - which is where I was until I discovered that I held the power to become the creator of my "self" and my life. 

Language...can give life or create death. 

I lived the life of what I call the "living dead" for a very long time.

Today?

I choose life.

Won't you join me? 

It is possible to learn to claim our power, to become the creator of our own "best life".

What does your best life look like? 

If the past never happened...and all the ducks were in a row....

What would your life look like at the end of it? 

That is where we begin...

With the end in mind.

This is how we begin to let go of the past...

By learning how to create our future.

Uh huh!

Not rocket science for sure....

Not always easy either.

But damned sure worth it.

Welcome....to your life:) 

Always amazed at the light that surrounds you....

Susan:)

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

The Language Of Life

Weave your words to create the fabric of your life

Along the way I've picked up a few things that made the difference...

The biggest difference was made when I learned to recognize the language of life in contrast to the kind of dialog running in the back of my mind like the subtitle of a silent movie that left me feeling hopeless, helpless and powerless over my life.

One of the first things I learned and one of that last things I "got" ..

Was understanding the difference

Between feeling powerless

and

Being powerless.

Making the connection between my (then) today where I felt powerless

and that this was a normal response

to having actually

been powerless

in my past

was

well

HUGE.

This

I came to understand

was why

in my (then) today

I continued to

feel

powerless...

And this was not at all helped by all the helpful folks who kept reminding me 

just

how

powerless

I

really, really

was.

You know? 

Those groups where the first thing we have to admit to is being

powerless?

Then all the other well intentioned folk

the therapists

counselors

friends

family

who were telling me I was such a control freak and needed to 

let go. 


Telling me that I couldn't control everything, that I needed to accept life as it was...

but...

no one ever told me what I

did

have power over.

So I continued on

trying to do my best

do what I was told

trying to do it

right

only it never was

right enough.

And what I've discovered along the way is ...

that I could unveil

uncover

and activate

my 

power

by checking and challenging

the language I used

every day

all the time

that told me that I was

powerless.


And that while I was powerless over people places and things outside of myself

I held the power to become the creator of my life 

that I would no longer be a victim of life. 

So - thank you therapists, friends, family and those 12 step groups that mean well but 

to tell someone who has never owned their own intrinsic magical and mystical power

that they are

powerless

ya...

well..

not so helpful.

In order to learn to let go of the learned external controlling of people places circumstances and things....

which are the things I am powerless over

I had to discover how to own my own power.


In the end - the change came in choosing to move on to learning how to regulate my life from the inside out by 

changing my language from that of despair 

to that of design.


The language of life is where I learned to make the shift from "tell me what to do to be well so I can live well" to...

"I am well and can learn how to live".


Here's to you, you amazing beam of light and life!

You got the magic in you!

I'm beaming at your brilliance!

Susan:)

PS...

We may have been powerless.

We may feel powerless yet that is very different from actually being powerless.

Learning to speak and listen for the language of life became one of the truths that set me free.

Those who told or tell you that you are powerless....may actually believe that they too are powerless and are here only to be tossed in the storm of life, that its no use to try to "create" our life because we in the end are simply here to live until we die.

And while there are things that are beyond our control?

We are always in control of the story we tell ourselves about those things.

Uh huh:)

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

  Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

No longer a victim and much more than a survivor

Become the Creator
of your own
"unlimited life"

A quick note today...


About the "aha"


That became the truth


That set me free. 

Like many others who were living a life of "less than"...

I subscribed to the idea that "support" was that place where I could vent

bitch

and moan

about my past

my pain

my today

yesterday

and tomorrow.

That just really

really

sucked.

And I lived there for what seemed 

forever.

And in time

I discovered that there is a time and a place for seeking "support" that actually supports my journey 

into

through

and out of the muck

instead of staying

stuck

in it.

Pouring my pain out day after day with no conscious effort to learn to live beyond it is what I identified in myself as being that "perpetual victim". **


Learning to take responsibility for creating my day included learning how to take responsibility for my life outcome.

Day by day.

Moment by moment.

It meant learning the difference between living in the mindset of  "blame" 

While letting go of the self blame and shame that fueled my self hatred and perpetuated my victimhood. 

Which I wore very welll...btw:) 

This is the place where I give responsibility to those who let me down 


And take responsibility for becoming the creator of my own "best" life.

Focusing on my pain, seeking sympathy in the guise of "support" kept me stuck and struggling for many many years. 

I'd been victimized - I was no longer a victim. 

I had survived - but wanted to live beyond survival. 

This is my passion today...

To share the truth that set me free and allowed me to become the creator of my "best life" vs the perpetual victim of life. 

The biggest lesson I learned about the emotional healing journey?

Is that its not about "fixing" what was broken

but about learning how to live.

This week...

Use your inner wisdom to guide you to a place where you are allowed to feel your pain and grow through it instead of staying stuck in it.

Thank the helpful friends who offer their sage advice and - find those who will allow you your voice. 

Seek comfort in compassion vs distraction.

Learning to sit with and go through our pain is how we grow beyond it. 

I'm sorry you suffered.

I'm sorry for the losses you experienced...

I feel angry knowing that there are many who have experienced RBT's* at the hand of those who were intended to love, honor and cherish...charged to nurture, guide and celebrate the life that lives in you.

And I'm so

so

so

grateful

You have chosen to share the journey.

We were powerless.

We are no more.

We can take back our todays

Create our tomorrows

And live the life we adore.

You've got the magic in you. 

Now...

Lights!

Camara!

Action!

You're on!

Let your light shine in the way you create your life.


It. Is. Never


"Too late".


Always there...

Susan

We can learn to live beyond the pain of the past and take back our tomorrows by the way we choose to live our today. 

True story:)

RBT's* = Really Bad Things (and I am so so sorry you or someone you know may have experienced RBT's) 

**(The opposite of of a constant focus on our pain is denying, avoiding and otherwise ignoring that I'm even in pain - listen in here for a story about that: Empowering Solutions on Blog Talk Radio with Heal My PTSD)

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 
 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Register for the Empowering Solutions news and updates here...

Living far beyond survival....

A day in my journey of self discovery
September 29 2010
Newport Beach California

Today a note from the Empowering Solutions Community page...

For those of us who grew up in chaos, dysfunction, neglect, abuse or other physcial psychological, emotional violations we can be stuck in survival mode.

This is where we are on constant lookout for the next "shoe to drop", ready to "fight", "flight" or "freeze".

We are working and putting out so much energy to survive because we never learned how to "live".

We often lack the life, coping and social skills that are the foundation of a healthy, interdependent "self" and life.

The empowering solution for me became learning to recognize "survival" mode and being able to step back from that while I learned the life and coping skills that would enable me to create my"self" and "get a life" that I so desperately wanted and deserved.

We were wounded and left unprepared yes; the good news is that we can learn to give ourselves today what we did not get in our yesterdays.

The journey is one of self-discovery, the finding of our "self" and the inner wisdom that allows us to know what to do when in our head and experience we have no clue what to do.

We can learn to no longer be a victim of life but the creator of our best life where we are survivors of bad things but no longer live only to survive.

If you would like to get the daily notes and posts in your own Facebook stream you are invited to come by, "Like" the Empowering Solutions Community page and join this growing community:) Get there by clicking here. 

Always grateful you choose to share your light and life with us here:)

May you live in mucho massive amounts of the magic today!

Susan

PS....Click here to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

Empowering Solutions at Blog Talk Radio....When Holidays Aren't Happy

Credit

This past past week was another Holiday....yet for SRBT's holidays aren't always happy and in fact can often be connected to our trauma experiences. 

From the Empowering Solutions page at Blog Talk Radio....

Too often Survivors of family dysfunction are left "holding the bag" so to speak. We have learned to "shut up and put up" with ongoing family drama that can quickly shift from uncomfortable to tension to subtle - or not so subtle - verbal or emotional or even physical abuse. 

Often we are left wondering whats "wrong" with us and we resort to isolation to avoid the pain of what the rest of the world views through the lens of Hallmark type happiness: the cards, the gifts, the fluff. This can serve only to make our sense of isolation and inadequacy seem amplified and reinforce the idea that if we aren't happy and joining in the festivities....that truly something IS wrong with us. 

Tune in for this special holiday edition for some em.powering solutions and discover how to write your own new ending to this type of fairy tale by learning to separate ourselves from our "normal" and know that its ok to create a new, healthy normal for ourselves. 

When Holidays Aren't Happy: Writing a New Ending! 

Listen to internet radio with Susanks on Blog Talk Radio

Listen in and follow Empowering Solutions on Blog Talk Radio here...www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions


Follow us at the Facebook Community page: www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions


What are some of your empowering solutions for making holidays happier? How do you set yourself up for success and avoid the drama that can come up?

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

   
 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Bring It!

Heres the deal.

Those of us who can identify as SRBT's* grew up in situations and circumstances that often left us...

Feeling "different"

Unprepared

As though we are "figuring things out" as we go

Stupid

Ignorant

Less than others

More than others

Powerful

Powerless

As though we don't have a clear sense of self and can become ...

A chameleon to situations and circumstances.

Some of us have unfortunately sought "help" only to be told we are 

diseased

Disordered

And in general....

Defective.

That our life sucks

Because we suck....

We aren't doing it right enough.

We aren't good enough.

If we tried harder..

Didn't try quite so hard.

Even todays new "trauma informed care" model is telling us very often that 

"Oh shit. You are broken forever and will never be more than you are and you are (fill in the blank)."

We walk away from this kind of "help" being brainwashed 

once more

by someone else's limited understanding and beliefs.

How do I know this?

Because I bought into this kind of "help"...

that really was not helpful

for a very long time.

And you know what I discovered?

Is that in their good intentions...

The ignorance of those who have not BTDT*...

(Or maybe they have been there but they have't done the work to resolve their own issues and now share their own limiting beliefs with others....)

Simply reinforced what I knew all along and had been told from the beginning of time...

That I was worthless, powerless and there was no hope for me.

That I was broken.

Defective.

Damaged goods.

And would be

Forever.

And it was only when I decided to no longer listen to those who had not BTDT and 


I began to listen to those who had traveled this path before me and emerged...

Not unscathed, mind you...

But emerged in their fullness, their power and 

owning the crap out of their power...

That I discovered the truth.

What was that truth?

My truth. 

Not "their" truth.

My truth.

The truth that set me free.

The truth that became the knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt....

That while I will never

ever

ever

be what I

could have been

had I not been

violated

abused

neglected...

I will always

ALWAYS

ALWAYS

be more than what those who told me I would never be more than what I had experienced.

You got it going on:)

Shake it off.

Thats it...


Bring it....


Own the crap out of your power...

Game on! 

You da bomb!

Susan


*SRBT's = Survivors of Really Bad Things (are the most amazing people on the face of the earth!)

*BTDT = Been There Done That:)


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

The Missing Piece

I received this from a friend recently and since many of us are on such similar paths and seeking our own light and life....

I wanted to share with you:)



Here's to learning to bump, lift, pull and flop our way to a whole self and a whole life:)

You go! 

Susan

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! 

 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com  to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Self, Space, Things and Time

Photo Credit

Self.

Space and things.

Time.

Sounds sort of Star Trekky, don't you think?

Yet this, I've found, is what "life" is made of.

This is where "I" exist and how I move myself through my life - by creating a framework for my life from the inside out…

Where my "doing" is fueled by my "being"…

Instead of the "doing”…

That comes from a life lived from the outside

in.

This is the "how" behind becoming the creator of my life

Instead of that perpetual victim of life.

But - this is not what I've always known.

In fact...I experienced life like this for a long time...

Time.

Things.

Then space.

Then….

Self

Or lack of.

This is where my life was a place where I never had enough

time.

I wanted lots of things to fill my space and that took my time and

my

self

was never part of the equation.

I moved through my days chasing that elusive dream of

when I have the time

then I might have enough things

to fill my space

and finally

find

my

self

and thus

that ever elusive place of

Happily ever after.

The thing I've discovered though...

along the way from

there

to here...

Is that living my life like this...

Time...things....space......self

was a huge part of that feeling "less than" and "never enough".

Why?

Well...for starters...as we've talked of many times...this was my "normal".'

And my "normal" was definitely not "healthy" nor was it functional and in fact was a very dys-functional way of trying to exist as a part of the bigger world.

In fact in living my life from the

outside in

rather than the inside out...

I felt very much disconnected....

Apart from

not a part of...

that bigger world.

So in order to find a way to "be" and "be ok"...

I had to find a way to exist

from the inside out

instead of

the outside in.

"Being" is the beginning of "doing".

Yet - we live in a world that values "doing" above "being".

So while there is a reason why I felt broken

defective

different

and believed I was

disordered...

When I learned how to give my "self" a form and a function

that began from the inside out

that is when my outside started to be more a reflection of my

"self".

Learning the how behind healing myself from the inside out...

aka...

learning to own the things that made me "me"...

My thoughts, beliefs, feelings and yes, my body

and how all of these parts of me are connected

and make me

"me"

was the beginning of learning how to shape my life from the inside out

self-space-things-time

instead of the outside in

time-things-space-self

that had been my normal.

Today then....

If I can begin by engaging with my "center"...

aka knowing my "self"

by knowing and owning the things that make me "me"...

my thoughts,

my feelings,

mybeliefs and

my body

within the framework of my space and things

my time

will no longer consume me

but becomes that path I follow

where I find that that my "doing" is truly fueled by my "being".

Learning to discover my "self" was the beginning of discovering the meaning of "self" empowered living.

How did I discover my "self"?

By learning to listen to and own those things that made me "me"...

My thoughts, beliefs, feelings and body.

I know...its hard sometimes - especially when for so long I did not have ownership of these parts of me that made me "me".

So the place to begin was to begin learning about "me" and

asking what it was that "I" was thinking

what "I" believed

what "feelings" I was feeling in my body - and

what I wanted to do with all of that.

There is no "right" or "wrong" when it simply is....

And "it" is pretty awesome:)

Live long...

Live well...

and prosper:)

Susan


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

Action Trumps Acceptance: Become the Creator

Christopher Reeves modeled for me
what it means to live in acceptance of what is
without letting it define what could be

Acceptance is a good place to be.

Learning to recognize and let go of what's not mine, learning to see myself as separate from others yet a part of a bigger world...

Was and is a big deal.

Acceptance of what was...

And of what is....

Is huge.

Freeing.

Empowering.

As I learn to accept those things that are outside of my control....

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change


Courage to change the things I can


And the wisdom to know the difference....

I got hung up on the first line of accepting what I cannot change.

But its the second line that gave me the power to shift from being a passive participant in life to becoming the creator of my life.

Hows that?

I came to understand that acceptance of what is beyond my control is only the beginning.

And that I'd missed the rest of the story - that I had become a passive observer of life....

Rather than the creator of my life.

Learning to live beyond that deep sense of powerlessness that left me hopeless is where I found my power....

And my hope.

You have the power to create your own unlimited life...

Regardless of what it is that you have come to accept as beyond your control.

Living in passive acceptance is different than living in acceptance. 

Healing is about learning to let go, yes.

Healing is also about learning to live....


And live well. *

Today....

Try simply observing the times you may be feeling distressed, overwhelmed...powerless. 


Ride that feeling....to and through the anger, the grief...the fear.


Now look up...


And realize that this moment...


All is well and you....


Are the creator of  your "best life". 

Learning to let go is hard.

Learning to accept those things we cannot change or control is hard.

Learning to live is learning to accept those things of the past that haunt us and hunt us.

And accepting that today...

Truly is mine to create.

Acceptance is trumped only by Action.

Accept - yes.

But never settle.

You have the power.

It lives within you....

To shape and create the today that will take you to your tomorrow. 

It may not be what it might have been had you not suffered.

But it will always be the life that wasn't if we cannot let go of the life that was and the one that will never be because of our suffering. 

Action is the card that trumps acceptance and becomes the fuel that empowers us to push on and through to create our best life when today is hard because of yesterdays hurt.

Always here...

Always amazed by you:)

Susan

* Link: The Best Therapy for "mental illness": Recovery is about learning to live well. That is all. 

1. Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register for Project 360 to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Photo credit

Your assignment if you choose to accept it...

What I think of you is not as important as what you think of you.

Get it?

As SRBT's* many of us learned early on that in and of ourselves we held no value. 

That we were unworthy of being loved simply because we existed.

That we had to earn the love of others but there was a secret about that rule that we weren't told..

That no matter what we did...

It was never

ever

ever

going to be enough.

We learned from a very early age that in and of ourselves we held no value and...

that our value came from others

and

that we had to learn to "read" others

looks

mood

physical appearance

(do they look mad, happy, like they are pleased with what I did or said?))

How are they holding their head....

uh oh

shit

the hand on the hip

the furrowed brow...

better watch out....

to determine what our next word or action might be.

We didn't learn to read others expressions and behaviors to validate their feelings, wants and needs as theirs but

to learn to read others expressions and behavior to validate our feelings, wants and needs as being the right ones for us....

based on what others decided

wasn't going to

piss them off

or

make them happy.

Learning to see myself as separate from others and 

that what others said and did is about them

not me

was

hard. as. hell.

Yet...

this was also the beginning of learning to see myself through the eyes of

enough

valid

worthy

and....

:)

just downright

fricking

brilliant! 

in my own right.

Granted....I should have learned that lesson as a child.

I should have been told I was magnificent..

that I was going to make an amazing doctor one day

That I could be a ballerina

an architect

or any damned thing I dreamed of.

That I could find my light and follow it...

I should have learned to value myself for who I was

not what I could give, sacrifice or do.

But I didn't.

So now ----

the decision is up to me to learn to see myself as who I am and want to be

vs who others told me I was.

So what I think of you - or anyone else - is not as important...

as what you think of you. 

The trick was learning to recognize that those silent subtitles that ran in the back of my mind...

stupid

bitch

wh*** (thanks dad for that one)

idiot

wrong

bad

stupid...

Those are the lies as I see myself through the eyes of those who thought so little of themselves that they had to make me less....

so they could be more.

We can rewrite the program by learning how to be aware of whose voice we are listening to....

And choosing to write our own program.

What do you see when you see "me"?

Learning to let go of the hope the wish and the dream for something more than what I had is how I was able to determine what I would get.

True story:)

Now...your assignment if you choose to accept it:)

Go forth and rock this thing...

multiply them there good thoughts and do your own hostile take over....

Claim your tomorrow by refusing to let your yesterday take over your today:)

Uh huh.

It really is that simple.

Its not easy...

But it definitely is not rocket science:)

Does it take one time to do this?

No.

Two times?

No.

Then how many times did I have to catch those wicked ways of the past that were torturing me today?

As many times as it took.

Does it ever stop?

I don't know

Because I'm still doing it and I'm not always doing it perfectly but...

the point is to do it...

and not give up.

Baby steps is where we start...

And we keep taking those steps and trust they will take us to the next steps.

Change is hard but it doesn't stay hard because one day its no longer change because its the new normal.

The secret was not to have done it once

but to keep doing it.

True story:)

Susan

*SRBT's = Survivors of Really Bad Things = the most amazing beings that walk the face of this earth:)


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!



 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register for Project 360 to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

The Issue is not the issue

Sometimes I think...

My. god.

Shouldn't I be done with this by now? 

And the answer of course?

Is....no.

Life.

Is.

Part of life is knowing that the journey is not about arriving...

But about the journey.

Its not in doing it right

But about doing it. 

And when things come up...

as they do

knowing that no matter the issue at hand

the issue is really about

knowing I know how to handle the issue. 

Seeing myself as complete and capable to push past the roadblocks life throws me is the beginning of creating my "best life"...

Whats my "best life"?

The one I choose.

Every day.
~

The secret is not that I believe in you - but that you believe in yourself. 


Although...


I do believe in you:) 


In hearts, sparkles magic and music....


Susan 

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!  
 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register for Project 360 

Its the Magic....

We all have something we are good at.

Something that no one else can do.

And when we do it...

Its so easy we feel guilty as though we are playing hookey and just waiting to get caught:)

This?

Is your magic.

Yet for many who hail from backgrounds where we were not taught to see ourselves as 

magical

We can struggle with owning our magic. 

So today....this week....

Believe.

In you.

And your magic. 

Let it bubble up to the top and imagine it. 

It might be something that you've found yourself sort of 

falling into

time and time again in your life.

Or it may be something that you did

but don't do today.

You have that one thing in you.

What is it? 

Don't think.

Just feel it.

You may not remember what that one thing is but its there.

This week.....try being open to it.

And see if it doesn't come knocking...

You got it goin' on:) 

Fairy dust, sparkles and hope abounds where we dance with the wind....

Magic, I tell you....Its pure magic when we learn to live in that place where even the angels go...

"Wow! They do it so effortlessly!" 

Wink:)

Susan

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register for Project 360 to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Photo