We are alone

Alone. And loving it:) 

We are alone.

This...was one of those "awakenings" I'd experienced.

You see....coming from the background I did (NOT "Ozy and Harriet style) I had always felt alone.

I never felt as though I "belonged" anywhere.

Not in my family, my community...

"Friends" were few and far between, if at all.

I considered myself a "loner" - sort of.

At other times I thought of myself as a "people person"...which was usually when I was writing my resume (had to be that chameleon:)).

Then one day a very wise person who had traveled this path before me said the most astounding thing - a thing I had never considered...

That we are ALL "alone".

And what I realized is that I was still stuck in the childlike place where I just wanted to be...

loved.

So I was thinking that because I didn't "feel" loved that I didn't "belong" anywhere.

I had carried that overwhelming lonliness from my childhood where I sat alone on the long davenport (yeah..back then a long couch was a "davenport"...for whatever that has to do with anything:)).

And in that second...that "aha" where I realized that I had been trying to create the "love" that I had not experienced in all the things I did, trying to do them "right enough".

Trying to "be" "good enough"....

Wishing to be "smart enough"...

And I was never...

enough.

So since that day of my "aha" moment?

I began to see that I was "enough".

That my best was "good enough".

That I wasn't just "smart enough" but I began to see myself as fricking "brilliant"....

Because of course - I'd survived.

And I realized that while I had learned to adapt and cope in ways that supported "survival"...

That was no  longer enough.

And I realized that by knowing that I was "alone" - just like everyone else in this world...

I no longer had to seek my worth, value and "belonging" in others because I...

very simply

was enough.

I knew from deep within that no matter what I had or didn't have...

The family or friends?

They could never "make" me feel as though I was "enough" to be accepted

but that I had to accept myself

and then

I would belong

anywhere I went.

In the light and hope for your to find your own forever "you"....

Susan

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