Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Where I was Free

Sunspot 2010

Today...try stopping for a moment and notice from within ie "consciously" ...how your body feels. Stretch up....breath in....let it out....this was the beginning of learning to see that "I" was separate from my experiences and other individuals. That my past no longer defined me but I became the designer of who I wanted to be. This was the beginning of knowing my truth; the place where I realized I was free.

I heart you....


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

Monday, May 21, 2012

From the Archives....Letting Life Unfold Naturally

Learning to let life unfold...

Sometimes I like to go back and revisit the archives....so today...a few posts on the idea of learning to live in acceptance and letting go of controlling the outcome...

From Sunday March 10, 2010....Choosing to Trust Life was an exploration into how learning to trust myself instead of being dependent on others empowered me to see that I could live in a place of ease. Learning to recognize how I was trying to influence and control others and other circumstances was the beginning of learning to recognize where my power truly lies.

Tuesday May 4, 2010....To Let Life Unfold....Naturally is a post about the awareness that in learning to let others control themselves and their destiny...freed me to control mine.

Sunday August 11, 2011...Looking for Happy in all the Wrong Places.... is a post telling the story behind how learning to let go...most often gave me what I was looking for all along.

Friday September 23, 2011...Learning to Let Life Unfold Naturally....Learning to see that it was my need to control people places and things that was the source of the constant drama in my life....is how I learned to let go.

Learning to "see" the things in me that kept me from a life of ease was the beginning of learning to let go and the result was that I could finally live.


Getting a life....

Meant learning to let go of everyone else's:)

Uh hum....

Scary at first but....

This was one of those "truths"...

That set me free.



Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Learning to Live is Different than Waiting to Die

Newport Beach, California 2010
Learning to create my life from the inside out is THE most "em"powering lesson I learned.

In a nutshell:

First....I  AM powerless over things that exist outside of my physical body - people, places and things or circumstances that exist outside of my personal physical self and environment.

This includes other people....

The things they...

Think, do and say.
The way others express their own needs in the things they do and say - is outside of my control or influence.

 A helpful hint I found about putting this in perspective....

Keeping in mind that when someone begins a sentence with "You...." what they are saying is "I am feeling angry or afraid that this is outside of my control and I need to try to shape or influence what you are doing or saying to make myself feel safe". 

Huge life lesson for me and one I am still learning day by day.

The key was to learn to see this in myself that I could have compassion for those who couldn't see it at all.

Secone....I am NOT powerless over what I do think feel or say or...the story I tell myself about the things that are outside of my control. 
Which sort of flies in the face of those who for many years told me that I was actually powerless over my thoughts, feelings, moods, physical health, my body....

That something was "wrong" with me....not the abuse, neglect and emotional/psychological brainwashing that left me believing they were right. 

Yet - here I am today...no longer depressed, chronically dissociating, feeling fragmented, alone or isolated. 

Learning to listen to my inner world that I might create the outer world, life and circumstances that allows me to live and experience my "best life"...even when things aren't so good. 

The key here?

Learning to recognize that where others told me I was powerless, disordered and that my distress was chronic long lasting and unchangeable...

These individuals were often also profiting from my dependence on them in one way or another either directly or indirectly.

A key component in any abusive relationship is when someone says...

Something is wrong with you and you can't do this without me. 

That goes for family, friends and health care providers.

We always have a choice and any "provider" or person that encourages dependence?

Well...I lived in that place for nearly 20 years while under the influence of chemicals that inhibited my ability to think clearly or function in any capacity so ....ummm...I sort of have some prejudice about working with therapists and other "mental health" providers - but...this post about finding helpful help - might be helpful: How to tell an average therapist from a great therapist and see my post I am not a can of soup here to read about how I began to learn the language of life around re-defining who I chose to be...my "self". 

The life lesson? 
  • I AM powerless over circumstances and situations that exist outside of my personal physical, emotional, environmental space
Which also means...

  • I am NOT powerless over the environment I choose to create and where my physical, emotional and psychological "self" resides and....

The next life lesson?

Its up to me to create a place of safety for myself.

As a child - I had not choice, no resources, no escape.

As an adult...


If I'm still in unsafe environments where I'm still being put down, shut up, dismissed or abused in any way...

Then its up to me to learn to use the resources available to find my way to safety and understand that while that may have been my normal...

It is not healthy and I can learn to live beyond that place where I felt as though it was my responsibility to change who I was and tolerate being abused and otherwise mistreated in order to not be abandoned. 

Truth is....

While I still felt "childlike" and wished, hoped and dreamed for my "knight in shining armor"...

What I found...

Is that no one can rescue an adult. 


That adults cannot be abandoned. 

We make choices to stay or to go. 

Abandonment "issues" are issues to be resolved and when they aren't - they are often recreated. 

Bottom line for me became understanding that the learned helplessness and fear of abandonment of the past fueled that sense of hopelessness as an adult that left me unable to see that I was truly the creator of my today and my tomorrow. 

I felt helpless to shape my "self" let alone my world or life experiences. 

It was in learning the language of life....

That I began to become the creator of...my life:) 

You may have been powerless - but are no longer. 

The key is to learn to identify that feeling powerless...

Is much different than being powerless.

Learning to live is different than waiting to die - which is where I was until I discovered that I held the power to become the creator of my "self" and my life. 

Language...can give life or create death. 

I lived the life of what I call the "living dead" for a very long time.


I choose life.

Won't you join me? 

It is possible to learn to claim our power, to become the creator of our own "best life".

What does your best life look like? 

If the past never happened...and all the ducks were in a row....

What would your life look like at the end of it? 

That is where we begin...

With the end in mind.

This is how we begin to let go of the past...

By learning how to create our future.

Uh huh!

Not rocket science for sure....

Not always easy either.

But damned sure worth it.

Welcome....to your life:) 

Always amazed at the light that surrounds you....


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.