Sunday, July 1, 2012

perfection



Perfection lives only in that space between where we are and where we want to be.

It is that ideal where we have arrived and are finally enough.

The only problem?

Is that perfection is elusive.

It slips in through the whispers of those who are still seeking it...

And leaves devastation in its wake.

Perfection?

Is what is.

Is where we are

not where we've been

or where we are going.

It

simply

is.

You are in the perfect place.


It is the perfect time. 

And...

Its never


ever


"too late".

Why?

Because you are in the perfect place at the perfect time to become the creator of your perfect life.

The only hitch?

Is to learn that the only perfect time...

Is now.

I'll be here - holding your place in line....:)

Susan




Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

14 comments:

Dan and Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

I like this, Susan. I especially needed to read this now, because I have been beating myself up all day for not being as healed as I had thought I was, or not as healed as I think I "should" be.

I work so hard on myself, trying to learn and heal and grow. I read tons of highly rated self-help books, I read ental health blogs, I'm in weekly therapy with a really great therapist, and from all of this effort I'm gaining insights and perspective and I feel myself start to heal, and then I begin to feel and believe that I'm finally getting my head together.

But then... someone says something that I maybe take the wrong way and I suddenly go crashing back down again, I feel myself becoming buried under an avalanche of negative emotions and beliefs, such as the searingly painful feeling of rejection, and the miserable belief that I am unworthy, that I'm crazy and not good enough, the ugly sick feeling of boiling-over anger. All of those NEGATIVES that I do NOT want to feel, think, or be. I strive so hard to get OUT of that miserable pit, and then sometimes it seems to take so little to knock me right back down in that mess all over again.

The one improvement I am noticing though, is that these miserable times of sliding back don't seem to go so deep, nor do they last nearly so long, as they used to.

People like YOU are a big reason why that is so. You genuinely CARE. You are genuine, period, you don't pretend to be something you are not. Your honest transparency about your imperfections is what makes you so Perfect.

With Deep Gratitude,
Elaina

Susan said...

Hi Elaina!

Yes; the road seems long sometimes doesn't it? The gift of each day seems to be able to realize that the dark places become fewer, less intense and farther between. We are a work of art in progress:)

In those times when I found myself triggered" like you describe....have you read the author on somatic release? I've found it helpful to learn how to litterally "shake it off" and return to my new mantra of that was then this is now.....the "reacting" comes from our past learned responses to "triggers"....the good news is we can learn to live past that place. It sounds like that is exactly what you are doing:)

I am always happy to see you and so honored I get the privilege of sharing the gift I've been given in finding my way:)

Much love to you and yours:)

Susan

Dan and Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

I did a search for "somatic release" and got over 2 million hits. Then I searched on Amazon for books on that topic and came up with 155. "In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness" by Peter A. Levine and Gabor Mate, published in 2010, and " Somato Emotional Release: Deciphering the Language of Life" by John E. Upledger and Richard Grossinger, published in 2002, were at the top of the Amazon list. Are either of these the author you are referring to?

I am currently reading a book by a Harvard Clinical Psychiatrist Fredric Schiffer, MD, entitled "Of Two Minds: The Revolutionary Science of Dual Brain Psychology." Although it was published in 1998, this is the first I've heard of it. I'm getting a lot out of this book. We do indeed have 2 brains. I believe having 2 brains gives us depth of personality, much as having 2 eyes gives us depth perception, and 2 ears gives us stereo/directional hearing. It's all fine and good when everything works together as it should. But we get into trouble when our 2 brains war with each other, much as our vision suffers when our eyes don't focus together properly. (This is MY take on the Dual-Brain Theory, not that of the author.)

I'm also reading Stalking The Soul by Marie -France Hirogoyen, and several Alice Miller books -- that is, they are piled on my ottoman waiting to be read, and occasionally I pick one up and thumb through it. I wish I could read as fast as my hubby, he reads as many as 2 - 3 books per day! I do good to read that many a week. But in his case, since he only reads novels, I suppose he doesn't have to stop and THINK, the way I do with my self-help books.

Always learning... it's an adventure. I feel good about me today. For most of my life I've felt the opposite, so today is a beautiful gift.

Thanks for being there, Susan.
Elaina

Dan and Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

Oh... I forgot to click the button to have follow-up comments emailed to me. I came back here to find your reply to my comment today, but would rather have them emailed. Clicking now...

Susan said...

Peter Levines work yes; great work.

Another author that might interest you is Martha Beck....I'm reading "finding your way in a strange new world"...an interesting take on things. She tells a story about animals and how they "shake it off" and move on.

And that to me is why we humans stay stuck so long is we've not learned how to go through the experiences and move on. We try to figure it out and rehash the trauma over and over....learning how to "make peace" with the past so to speak....and realizing that it wasn't about resolving every past wound but knowing how to go through it when it came up so I was resolving it emotionally more than intellectually. The thinking part of my brain had to learn how to make sense of the feelings that drove me to stay in that perpetual state of trauma....

I'm glad you are finding your way Elaina...and so glad to see you always:)

Mucho grateful!

Susan said...

You'd said....

Always learning... it's an adventure. I feel good about me today. For most of my life I've felt the opposite, so today is a beautiful gift.

Yes; that is so good to hear:)

Awesomeness. Life gets to awesome...it really does:)

Dan and Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

Thank you. I shall read Peter Levine's book on somatic release.

I am particularly intrigued by what you said re Martha Beck's story about animals and how they "shake it off" and move on (in her book "Finding Your Way in a Strange New World.") Just a few minutes ago, I was cleaning the dog's offerings out of the yard, when I found a dead baby swallow. I had taken pictures of that same baby bird at sunset last evening, as he was trying out his new wings for the first time, flying around our porch and yard. My husband and I had watched for weeks the daily progression as the male and female swallows built their nest in a sheltered corner of our back porch, then took turns incubating their 3 eggs, and finally, for many days now, the nonstop back-and-forth feeding of the 3 constantly open tiny beaks.

We watched from the back windows of our house as the swallows warded off predator birds -- our town has a large population of owls and hawks -- and I was particularly amazed when the male and female hunkered down on their nest during our June 12 supercell storm which produced fist-sized hail that fell for nearly half an hour from the sky.

Then, the smallest baby swallow died. A few days later, the second smallest was gone. But the adult swallows never seemed to falter as they focused their constant care on their remaining offspring.

But this morning, when I found the last baby swallow lying dead in the yard, I felt so sad. All that hard work and selfless devotion, and not one baby survived?

I threw the dead baby bird in the trash, then sat down to take a break on the back porch. A few minutes later the adult swallows flew near to where I was sitting. They perched a few feet away from me, side by side on our porch railing. The swallows looked at me, and I looked at them.

"I'm sorry that all your babies died," I said. I felt terrible. I wondered if the adult swallows felt anything?

Then, they started play-fighting with each other, the male and female. Were they working through their grief? Were they blaming each other for losing all of their babies? Or, were they making plans on where to go and what to do from here?

Our yard is full of birdsong. Right this moment, as I write this, I can hear all kinds of birds calling to one another. We put out food and water for the birds year round, because we enjoy them so much. When you feed wild birds, finding a dead bird is a fairly regular occurence. I usually don't feel bad when I find a dead bird. But the baby swallows -- that's different.

Yet... outside my window... LIFE is still going on.

Elaina

Susan said...

Yes. It does go on.

The saddest thing about the human condition is that we have learned to stuff our pain and thus...it never stops hurting even when we don't remember it.

The "awakening"? For me was learning to live in the "now" while honoring the past and preparing for a future without getting stuck in the "whys" and "hows".

A recent lesson....I can choose contentment at any time

The other lesson? Was that all my seeking wasn't so much about healing my past as learning how to create the me I want to be and the life I want to be living. :)

Dan and Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

Susan! What you said: "...all my seeking wasn't so much about healing my past as learning how to create the me I want to be and the life I want to be living."

Right On!

Right after I left my last comment here, I downloaded a sample of Martha Beck's "Finding Your Way in a Wild New World" to my Kindle, and she had me howling with laughter from the very first page! I LOVE her writing. I can so relate -- the little girl she describes herself as being, that was ME. I'm ordering a used hardback copy of her book from Amazon, so that I can more easily pass it on when I'm done with it. I believe my 37-year-old daughter would get a lot out of her book, too.

Martha Beck said something (either in an introduction or in her first chapter) along the lines of how, as we find and follow our true nature, we also find those other folks who come from the same "tribe" that we are from... I''m paraphasing badly, and too lazy to go look up the exact quote... anyway my point is that I thought, "Susan and I are definitely from the same tribe!"

So, Girlfriend, when do you want to go rhinocerous hunting? ;)

OK, back to reading...

Elaina

Susan said...

I'd have to agree Elaina...same tribe:) and glad for it....and I believe it will grow as we grow too.

I"m so glad you got Marthas book! Makes me think a book study might be fun sometime:)....?? A video chat maybe...I do enough writing every day:)

See you on the way to Africa:)

Dan and Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

I have not yet done any video chatting, with anyone... I'm too much the turtle in the shell. But... I think I am soon going to be shedding this shell. When Martha Beck's books arrive (I ordered 3 of them yesterday!), then I would like to give it a try.

Eeek! I'm shaking inside. But to paraphrase Mark Twain: Courage is being afraid, and doing it anyway.

I have always wanted to go to Africa. All the more so, I think, because Africa is in my blood. Although I look like my Irish great-grandmother, I sing and dance like my African great-grandmother. That is, when I was younger I sang and danced like a black woman in a white body. These old bones don't move quite like they used to. ;)

Susan said...

I am happy for you to be finding your wings Elaina!

Yes; coming out of safe isolation (which is a NORMAL response for those with our histories)....is scary. And rightly so. The trick I've found is to not let another bad experience keep me from trying again.

At some point I am hoping to understand how to engage in book studies or group coaching....still on a learning curve:)

I'm glad to hear you can consider the idea....a book study via phone chat or a google hangout (free video chat with up to 10)....there are lots of ways to go:) What I discovered is the trick is to keep taking the baby steps that allowed me to "GrOw" (GO) through the feelings of distress vs returning to hibernating to avoid the feelings....I love that quote btw:)

Africa....maybe the universe will arrange that for a bunch of us:) Wouldn't that be an amazing adventure?!

In hope always:)

Project Tara said...

Ooooo.... don't like that P word... never have unless viewing it from a place of contentment. No striving for perfection, just recognizing perfect moments when they happen to come, and seeing them for the gift that they are.

Susan said...

You said it so well Tara....recognizing those moments when they come:)