|November 24 2011|
We must learn how to "be" in order to "do" effectively. Without a clear sense of "self" and "being" in our space and world our "doing" often resembles a chaotic dance where the task is to catch and correct vs. that place of conscious creation. ~Susan
In the issues faced by those who hail from a background of family dysfunction - be that dysfunction the extreme control of a dictatorship regime to that of having no clear limits and life is a free for all....we arrive at adulthood without a clear sense of self.
Our dance with life becomes not one where we know and trust our own dreams and desires that guide our purpose and our passion but one of trying to "figure out" what it is that everyone else seems to know that we don't. Its sort of like showing up at the office and everyone else got the memo but we didn't.
In the work of Bessel Van der Kolk and others who are looking at the long term effects of childhood trauma - one of the key components is that survivors grow up without a clear sense of self.
Relationships are volitile. Life is chaotic. A perpetual sense of powerlessness prevails as does a sense of hopelessness for anything to ever be different.
How do I know this?
Because I have lived it.
And learned to live
And what I've discovered is that the place to begin is not that of viewing myself as forever broken but to view myself as fully capable and complete with the inner wisdom to create the life I want for myself.
The secret is not to focus on fixing what is "wrong"...
But to focus on learning how to "be"- and be ok.
To create what I want instead of avoid what I hate.
And in doing so I have discovered that if this is where I begin my days....
That all I do becomes not a validation of my worth...
But an expression of my being.
You can do this.
the journey of a thousand miles...
or a lifetime....
begins with taking that first step and doing that again....
The joy comes in learning to love the journey.
Always, always in awe of your amazing courage to keep going when it really really sucks.
Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!