Monday, January 16, 2012

Learning to Love the Journey


November 24 2011

We must learn how to "be" in order to "do" effectively. Without a clear sense of "self" and "being" in our space and world our "doing" often resembles a chaotic dance where the task is to catch and correct vs. that place of conscious creation. ~Susan 

In the issues faced by those who hail from a background of family dysfunction - be that dysfunction the extreme control of a dictatorship regime to that of having no clear limits and life is a free for all....we arrive at adulthood without a clear sense of self. 

Our dance with life becomes not one where we know and trust our own dreams and desires that guide our purpose and our passion but one of trying to "figure out" what it is that everyone else seems to know that we don't. Its sort of like showing up at the office and everyone else got the memo but we didn't. 

In the work of Bessel Van der Kolk and others who are looking at the long term effects of childhood trauma - one of the key components is that survivors grow up without a clear sense of self. 

Relationships are volitile. Life is chaotic. A perpetual sense of powerlessness prevails as does a sense of hopelessness for anything to ever be different. 

How do I know this?

Because I have lived it. 

And learned to live

beyond it.

And what I've discovered is that the place to begin is not that of viewing myself as forever broken but to view myself as fully capable and complete with the inner wisdom to create the life I want for myself.

The secret is not to focus on fixing what is "wrong"...

But to focus on learning how to "be"- and be ok.

To create what I want instead of avoid what I hate.

And in doing so I have discovered that if this is where I begin my days....

That all I do becomes not a validation of my worth...

But an expression of my being. 

You can do this.

Yes. 

It sucks.

A lot.

Very often.

Yet....

the journey of a thousand miles...

or a lifetime....

begins with taking that first step and doing that again....

over

and over

and over.

The joy comes in learning to love the journey. 

Always, always in awe of your amazing courage to keep going when it really really sucks. 

Susan



Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Timely today Susan,

"To create what I want instead of avoid what I hate."

I'm looking at directions for 2012 and making choices accordingly.

M.

Susan said...

I'm glad this was a timely post for you M:)

A forward focus with daily attention to what will help me move toward what I want....a great time management tool that helps keep me on what will be the best use of my day:)

Elaina* ~ Complex Post Traumatic Stress said...

Susan, this is an exciting time for me! The more that I am coming out of my brain fog by tapering very very very ultra-slowly off of the mind-numbing antidepressant and anti-anxiety meds, the more that I am able to really GET what you are saying. YAY!

Susan said...

Elaina...you have no idea how that thrills me, to hear that you are finding emotional freedom to feel and think for yourself! I'm doing a happy dance for you!

So good to "see" you today!

Project Tara said...

Keep going... keep going... keep going. I think at one point I even made The Little Engine That Could my profile picture of Facebook. :-)
A really wonderful post for anyone in the middle of the journey and in need of motivation to keep on.
As always, thanks for the words of wisdom.

Deena said...

Susam - Beautifully said. With mental illness, the focus seems to always be on what is wrong. How nice to focus on the right - even through the wrong, there is right. It sometimes just difficult to see.

Susan said...

Project Tara...I did a post on the little engine that could a few years ago...I found an old picture from the original book...one of my favorite stories!

thank you! Great to see you here today!

Susan said...

Hi Deena; it takes practice to shift to a chronic forward focus:)

Nice to see you!