Monday, December 31, 2012

"Thing 1 and thing 2" .... Mini Life Lessons

Lesson 1: feeling powerless is different than being powerless. There is ALWAYS a solution and most often finding my own solutions meant I had to let go of the solutions I'd been given as the "only options". 

Lesson 2: Hopelessness is toxic to happiness. To be happy I had to find hope for a better tomorrow. I did this by revisiting Lesson 1 frequently :)

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Monday, December 24, 2012

More about "story"....

About "sharing our story" to heal emotionally and psychologically ....

First - realize that not everyone can do this; those who cannot sit with their own pain will not be able to sit with ours.

A second thing to understand is that it is up to us to "work through" our past pain; this is not something that another can do "for" us or even "with" us. 

And finally - know that by telling our story over and over to everyone and anyone who will listen is often not helpful. Our pain is ours to "work through"; it not fair to others to make our relationships about only our pain. 

Then seek out a friend who will not get in your pity party with you by focusing on who did what and what a jerk he/she was to have hurt/violated/wounded you. 

Rather, seek a friend who will allow you to tell your story until you are done telling your story.

...someone who can empathize and express how the telling of this story affects them...someone who can verbalize and validate your feelings rather than focusing on the "asshole" who did this to you. 

Not "fixing", not dismissing, not enabling the story to go and on without resolution. 

But someone who can be that soft place to fall when you need someone to "support" you emotionally and then celebrate your freedom with you. :)

You have so got this; I know its can do it:) 


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Monday, December 17, 2012

The pain of growth....

All growth begins with pain. Pain is an indicator that growth is taking place; that the new is being birthed. To resist? I found was to, in a way, die. It was a living death; a death and darkness that would not pass until I was willing to go through the pain of birthing the new life I have today. 

~Susan Kingsley-Smith

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Back in time...A Blast From the Past

Every now and then I like to just revisit the archives so today - a few shares from last year.

This Is How We Do It....from April 2011 a brief excerpt...I frequently am asked "how did you do this? How do I heal? How do I let the past no longer control my today? How do I get past this pain that never leaves me?"

Also from April 2011....No Longer A Victim And Much More Than A Survivor.  This piece talks about how I saw that by focusing on rehashing the problem over and over was keeping me stuck in it and that by learing how to "go through" the pain - I found freedom from it. An excerpt: Focusing on my pain, seeking sympathy in the guise of "support" kept me stuck and struggling for many many years. I'd been victimized - I was no longer a victim. I had survived - but wanted to live beyond survival. 

This Is Where Well Being Begins is from December 2011 and here I reveal how flabbergasted I was when I realized that this wasn't rocket science - not easy - but not rocket science either. A few words from this piece: Its about learning how to make the past make sense in our today and that begins with learning to recognize when my today was about my past.

And from October 2011 Trauma is Trauma and Healing is Healing  This essay reveals that I discovered it wasn't my specific trauma that was the problem but that I did not know how to heal myself from any trauma experience. An excerpt: It was when I was able to understand that there was indeed a normal human emotional healing process that was applicable to every single one of my trauma experiences. And while I understood that I would not be who I might have been had I not been traumatized, violated, manipulated, oppressed and abused...

Do you have a favorite post from the past? 

Find it and drop the link in the comments below; I'll use those to make another post of your personal favorites in a "blast from the past"! 

Always grateful we can share the journey!


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!