Often in the dysfunctional relationships from my past I'd been told that I was "making" someone angry, sad, disappointed...and so on.
In other words...
I was somehow responsible for making others feel ok about themselves
by changing who I was...
what I thought
in order for them to be ok...
and for me to feel safe.
I Didn't Know That I Didn't Know I was Abused is a post I wrote last year on learning to recognize that my "normal" - was not normal.
And as I entered the mental health system and having left it behind me...
I realized that those who needed me to fit the role of "ill"...
sick, disordered, diseased and so on...said similar things to me.
"You are resistant, difficult, lacking insight..." and so on.
In other words - I was responsible for why their "therapies"were ineffective. In order to make them, their position and their "treatments" somehow more valid...I had to learn to accept responsibility for their failure to find and apply effective therapies.
I was required to embrace the way they defined me - instead of them as the professional finding effective ways to meet me where I was and help me find my way to where they thought I should be.
What I have since come to understand...
is that this "resistance"
saved my life
and set me free
from being manipulated, controlled, shamed, shaped and defined by those who have not yet defined themselves and confirmed that they needed to define me
in order to validate themselves and justify the failures of their "treatments".
Power and control is never ok.
is not futile.
May is "Mental Health Awareness Month". Join the resistance; say "NO" to abusive and manipulative "therapies" and "treatments". If you have experienced oppression or abuse in your own therapy relationships the first thing is to understand it is not your "fault" that a therapy model or therapeutic relationship did not work well for you.
It is only in no longer accepting this as "normal" in our healing journeys that it will ever be considered "not normal" by society. If your therapist or treatment provider has ever used a "power play" to enforce your compliance to therapies or treatments I'd like to hear your story. You can write to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
There is a difference between being resistant to change and being resistant to being forced to accept that you are defective or somehow at fault for a therapeutic failure. We all learn in different ways and it is wrong for anyone to attempt to shame you into accepting their process as valid over your own. An ethical therapist will never discount you.
We are all capable to create and live our best life; no one is broken forever.
Don't let anyone tell you any differently.
Especially if they have credentials behind their name.
Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!