Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Thank god I don't have to be perfect anymore!

Accepting Imperfections as Perfection:)

I had a circumstance over this past weekend that reminded me just how thankful I am that I no longer have to be "perfect".

It was one of those situations where someone else decided that the way I was communicating was ineffective and decided that it was within their rights to "tell me all about it".

This person had no idea of who I was, what my life experiences had been or the path I've followed to find freedom from the pain of the past.

And the lesson learned was two fold:

1. Use discretion with whom I share my pain

2. What other people think of me...

is none of my business:)

From the archives one year ago...

You're Nuts Not Traumatized This piece addresses the subtle ways in which peoples life experiences can shape the outcome when life experiences are denied or ignored.

The Sting of Stigma; The Wind Never Lies This is part 3 of a 3 part can link back and read parts 1 and 2 from this page. This is a piece that shares stories of those who have lived the reality of discrimination related to being tagged or "marked" with the label of "mental illness".

May is "Mental Health Awareness" lets get aware of the difference between being "marked" and being discriminated against. 

The human condition is not a disease. 

Human distress is not a disorder or a defect of character. 

Let go of the labels and you'll be surprised at how quickly the "stigma" goes away.

But thats just my opinion:)

 Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!


Patricia Singleton said...

A friend told me a few years ago that what other people thought about me was none of my business. I always liked that. It keeps my feelings from getting hurt as often as they once did.

Susan said...

Absolutely Patricia; in the past I would have stayed in that spin that comes with trying to defend myself when someone else starts telling me my thoughts, words and feelings are "wrong". This also helps me to identify my boundaries and healthy or unhealthy relationships. I have a lot of compassion for this persons unresolved pain but no longer see it as my responsibility to acquiesce in order to validate them through my compliance.

Tara said...

I'm looking forward to reading those links... and I love that saying about others views of you being none of your business. I know I'll refer back to it many times.
I hope that someday the stereotypes surrounding mental health are broken. They are so wrong, so hurtful, so damaging.

Susan said...

I agree Tara and in being the change we want to see in time we will see the change take place in the larger world I believe.

I'm glad you found that to be helpful to you; for many survivors being concerned with what others think of them is a valid fear stemming from having to be on our toes this way in the abuse. Learning to recognize it is key to learning to live beyond it I think:)

Thank you for your note!

Melissa said...

"What other people think of me...

is none of my business:)"

I love this quote, and I am going to shamelessly steal it - giving you credit of course.

Susan said...

Thank you and...Please do Melissa! :)

Darlene Ouimet said...

Susan, this post reminds me of something that I realized when I really OWNED that the abuse and mistreatment that I suffered as a child and then throughout my life, was at the root of my struggles with depressions and all that stuff. When I owned it, when I put the blame where it belonged, when I stopped thinking that my depressions were a defect or weakness within me then suddenly people stopped trying to force those beliefs on me. It is the strangest and yet most amazing thing! I don't for one minute believe that I was defective anymore so that stigma stuff doesn't even apply to me anymore! (well some might think it to themselves but they never say it to me anymore)
I hope this made sense!
Hugs, Darlene

Susan said...

Absolutely Darlene! I've written quite a bit on when I saw myself and identified with the labels my life reflected that. It wasn't that anyone did anything for me or to me to make this change for me, it was when I began to no longer carry the burden of blame for what had happened to me that I began to see there was a reason why I struggled.

I also began to see that I had to choose to not see myself as disordered and defective and could choose to believe that I was whole and healthy. And yes; some folks may still think that way of me but I no longer have to be concerned with that....what others think of me is none of my concern or business. Its all about them and nothing about me.