At times it seems that to wail "how could this have happened?" and focus on the events of the past is the solution; and it is if we want to remain a "victim" - but this is not always the most empowering solution. While there is a time and place for going through the grief process, if we find ourselves "stuck" there we can escape the images and events that might be replaying like a tape in our minds.
While we can't go back and change the past, we can control how we react or respond to it today. I can view myself as in control of my life, I can move forward today and let go of that "tape"; I can decide to not rewind it and play it over and over. I can live in my head, replaying the events of the past or I can live in today and make the most of it.
While this is not a "cure all" for overcoming the sometimes painful events of life - it is one more tool that I can use to make that all empowering choice to live in the moment, to re create that person I choose to be now and today. To help me create the picture of who I want to be and the life I want to live today.