Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I Ceased To Exist


"When I accepted "illness" as my chosen paradigm I was rendered a slave, to my genes and my biology. I believed that I was somehow "broken", that my "personality" was "set" and unchangeable. I became dependent on people places and things outside of myself to make me feel "ok" and to manage "me" and all that encompasses being "me"...my thoughts, emotions and behaviors. I ceased to exist as a "being" when I accepted "diagnosis". I became helpless when I accepted "illness" and I became hopeless when I believed there was no solution to be had.


Until I chose to create my own paradigm of "wellness".


~Susan

6 comments:

Splinteredones said...

Interesting. I get what you mean here. Self-identification remains that of a victim. Well done love your words. Thanks ;)

Susan said...

Yes...I like the way you put that:) A term I've often used for that place was "perpetual victimhood". I knew I could find my way out...but had no clue how to "do" it and in "illness" I floundered and was drowning when my solutions were in people and things outside of myself.

Gregory Montgomery, Jr. said...

Moving stuff, sister. Keep up the good work. Check some of my contrarian posts at http://bpwellness.blogspot.com . I'd like to talk about how we can make a difference.
Also, Dr Colin Ross' expose 'The Great Psychiatry Scam' is a must read. Holla - Greg gmonty23@gmail.com

Susan said...

Hi Greg! Great to meet you - glad you dropped by to comment:) I'm always about making a difference...theres a link to my email address in my "contact me" page. Thanks for your note...have a great evening!

Patricia Singleton said...

I have often in my life refused to accept labels just because a doctor or person in authority thought it fit my circumstances. I was told at 27 that I needed a hysterectomy. I didn't. I still don't.

I was told that I was a diabetic about 7 years ago and needed to treat it with medication. I have diabetes; it is not who I am. I am not an illness. I control it by being aware of what I eat.

I was told back in 1998 that I had fibromyalgia. I refused to accept that label and I still don't have it. The chiropractor did something that caused me a lot of pain for about 3 weeks before it went away.

I was told back about 9 years ago that I needed to have both breasts removed because I might get cancer in the future. I didn't buy into the cancer label either. I still have a lump in one breast but no cancer in either.

My sister has been labeled as schizophrenic. She isn't but she takes the medicines prescribed because it is the easier thing to do than to fight the system. Labels don't make us what someone else wants to label us as. It is sad that so many would rather just give or take medicines than find a cure for what is wrong.

Susan said...

Patricia - you are a living example of this entire medical model paradigm that I've been writing about as well as the inner strength and confidence that we are truly our own best resource.

I agree that it's sad that we as a people have become dependent on that "quick fix". I think part of it is that we don't know, as you did, that there are other options.

I was brought up by a mother who ran to the doctor for every little thing looking for answers, so in the beginning of my journey I thought they were operating in my best interest so I always followed their "professional" direction.

To not do so would result in that oppressing shame and guilt if I would question them and then I would be labeled as "difficult" or "resistant" among other things....as an abuse survivor that was all it would take to "keep me in line" until I learned to think for myself the way you describe here.

Great great points here....thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom here!