Sunset
8/6/10
Anger and Acceptance is a big deal in the healing journey.
At some point I was able to piece together that my initial anger or irritation at others and circumstances - past or present - was connected to that sense of powerlessness that had ruled my life for such a long time.
This served a couple of purposes....
In focusing on what others "should" do or "should" have done I had a sense of power over the behaviors of others as I judged them and their actions and often got lost in "story" and being that perpetual victim as my focus was on the power others seemed to have over my life. This kind of rumination was like pouring salt in a wound and reliving the injury or offense over and over.
And - focusing on what I thought others should or should not have done or be doing....successfully kept my feelings at bay and allowed me to avoid shifting from that "fight or flight" response of stress or conflict to the more vulnerable state of feeling the feelings behind my personal boundaries being violated and the "Story" that would enable me to find healing.
It took some practice but eventually I was able to recognize that my anger was not a bad thing thing, needing to be managed. But that this feeling was the starting place for recognizing the difference between accepting what I truly had no power over - what others do, think or say - as well as the things that I DID have power over - my own thoughts, feelings and choices today.
And slowly I made that shift from rumination to resolution of past injuries and learned to no longer tolerate the intolerable and embrace the power within that would allow me to create the change that would change my life.
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4 comments:
This is a really good post with excellent points Susan, one that really hit home was not just dealing with the positive and negatives of anger but how those choices are either for us or not. The choices are ours, and when we are healing the choices are so important because, sometimes, they are the first we've made with ourselves as the primary recipient in a positive way.
Wow! You said that so succinctly! The idea that these choices may be the first we've made to benefit ourselves. This is so true for me personally and was the first application of actually seeing how I could take back my power.
Great note and thanks for stopping by!
Hi Susan,loved your post and as always touched my thought process. Since starting my healing journey I have only discovered, understood and related to the word "CHOICES"!!!! I have finally started to make some progress on my healing journey and the word "CHOICES" has contributed. I can now except that I didn't have choice's throughout my life when I have be abused and violated,But now I hold the pieces to my life through the "CHOICES" that I make. The main "CHOICE" that I have re-directed is anger. This emotion had me by the throat and slowly the anger was killing me and my life...!!! I have released the hold of anger from my life and directed it to those that deserve it. What I carry with me today is "if you have nothing else in life, I always have a "CHOICE"!!!
A "CHOICE" can be fun,
A "CHOICE" can be small,
A "CHOICE" can be full of fear,
A "CHOICE" can be tough,
A "CHOICE" is what has put a smile back on my face!!!!
Gotta love that word....
Cheers Shelly Bonche
Hi Shelly! That is great to know! Thank you for letting me know you found something in the post that applies to your own journy. And yes! When I began to understand the power behind knowing that I could choose - I could choose to listen to my anger instead of letting it consume me. I love your CHOICE's!!!
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