Monday, April 9, 2012

Bring It!


Heres the deal.

Those of us who can identify as SRBT's* grew up in situations and circumstances that often left us...

Feeling "different"

Unprepared

As though we are "figuring things out" as we go

Stupid

Ignorant

Less than others

More than others

Powerful

Powerless

As though we don't have a clear sense of self and can become ...

A chameleon to situations and circumstances.

Some of us have unfortunately sought "help" only to be told we are 

diseased

Disordered

And in general....

Defective.

That our life sucks

Because we suck....

We aren't doing it right enough.

We aren't good enough.

If we tried harder..

Didn't try quite so hard.

Even todays new "trauma informed care" model is telling us very often that 

"Oh shit. You are broken forever and will never be more than you are and you are (fill in the blank)."

We walk away from this kind of "help" being brainwashed 

once more

by someone else's limited understanding and beliefs.

How do I know this?

Because I bought into this kind of "help"...

that really was not helpful

for a very long time.

And you know what I discovered?

Is that in their good intentions...

The ignorance of those who have not BTDT*...

(Or maybe they have been there but they have't done the work to resolve their own issues and now share their own limiting beliefs with others....)

Simply reinforced what I knew all along and had been told from the beginning of time...

That I was worthless, powerless and there was no hope for me.

That I was broken.

Defective.

Damaged goods.

And would be

Forever.

And it was only when I decided to no longer listen to those who had not BTDT and 


I began to listen to those who had traveled this path before me and emerged...

Not unscathed, mind you...

But emerged in their fullness, their power and 

owning the crap out of their power...

That I discovered the truth.

What was that truth?

My truth. 

Not "their" truth.

My truth.

The truth that set me free.

The truth that became the knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt....

That while I will never

ever

ever

be what I

could have been

had I not been

violated

abused

neglected...

I will always

ALWAYS

ALWAYS

be more than what those who told me I would never be more than what I had experienced.

You got it going on:)

Shake it off.

Thats it...


Bring it....


Own the crap out of your power...

Game on! 

You da bomb!

Susan


*SRBT's = Survivors of Really Bad Things (are the most amazing people on the face of the earth!)

*BTDT = Been There Done That:)


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

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7 comments:

Mike Haitch said...

Oh yes!

"We know you"
"No, actually you do not, you've never seen me well."

After SRBT, when we "bring it" it's an entirely different game! Having some fun ITRW as it slowly sinks in - It's not me that needs to up my game :-)

Susan said...

You GO Mike!

Man...you are so doing this thing!

Awesome!!

Mike Haitch said...

Susan,

It's been a "Kung Fu Panda" experience for me. Simpy not noticing that some things I do for fun and relaxation might have value, might be considered difficult by others.

One day I wondered "What if I try to merge these two areas of my life". Another day was "oh, and there's this stuff as well. What if I merged that in as well?" "oh and then there's this stuff as well."

I look at the result and think "OMG!! How could I not notice who I am". So focussed on the pieces you don't notice the jigsaw being built.....

Then It's easy to say "look at the jigsaw and tell me what you see!"

Now it's a case of seeing what happens....

From Tracie said...

This right here...is exactly what I needed to read today.

Thank you for that .

Patricia Singleton said...

Susan, I can tell you have thought this one out really well. You are a very wise lady who has learned the hard way that you are the one who knows what is good for you, not some so-called expert who doesn't have a clue as to what it means to be a survivor/thriver. You are both. Thanks for sharing your journey.

Elaina* ~ PTSD-is-Normal.com said...

Susan, this poem is WONDERFUL! POWERFUL! AWESOME! WOW! I'm sharing it.

Susan said...

@MIke...I love the way you put things together...merging of the parts of life. Awesome!

@Tracie - I am so tickled that this post spoke to you where you are at...I love those "coincidences"!

Pat...I am always so glad to see you and thank you for your generous note! I feel privileged to be able to share my life lessons here and so grateful we can all share the journey!

Elaina....Thank you for your note AND for sharing!