Those of us who can identify as SRBT's* grew up in situations and circumstances that often left us...
Feeling "different"
Unprepared
As though we are "figuring things out" as we go
Stupid
Ignorant
Less than others
More than others
Powerful
Powerless
As though we don't have a clear sense of self and can become ...
A chameleon to situations and circumstances.
Some of us have unfortunately sought "help" only to be told we are
diseased
Disordered
And in general....
Defective.
That our life sucks
Because we suck....
We aren't doing it right enough.
We aren't good enough.
If we tried harder..
Didn't try quite so hard.
Even todays new "trauma informed care" model is telling us very often that
"Oh shit. You are broken forever and will never be more than you are and you are (fill in the blank)."
We walk away from this kind of "help" being brainwashed
once more
by someone else's limited understanding and beliefs.
How do I know this?
Because I bought into this kind of "help"...
that really was not helpful
for a very long time.
And you know what I discovered?
Is that in their good intentions...
The ignorance of those who have not BTDT*...
(Or maybe they have been there but they have't done the work to resolve their own issues and now share their own limiting beliefs with others....)
Simply reinforced what I knew all along and had been told from the beginning of time...
That I was worthless, powerless and there was no hope for me.
That I was broken.
Defective.
Damaged goods.
And would be
Forever.
And it was only when I decided to no longer listen to those who had not BTDT and
I began to listen to those who had traveled this path before me and emerged...
Not unscathed, mind you...
But emerged in their fullness, their power and
owning the crap out of their power...
That I discovered the truth.
What was that truth?
My truth.
Not "their" truth.
My truth.
The truth that set me free.
The truth that became the knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt....
That while I will never
ever
ever
be what I
could have been
had I not been
violated
abused
neglected...
I will always
ALWAYS
ALWAYS
be more than what those who told me I would never be more than what I had experienced.
You got it going on:)
Shake it off.
Thats it...
Bring it....
Own the crap out of your power...
Game on!
You da bomb!
Susan
*SRBT's = Survivors of Really Bad Things (are the most amazing people on the face of the earth!)
*BTDT = Been There Done That:)
Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!
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7 comments:
Oh yes!
"We know you"
"No, actually you do not, you've never seen me well."
After SRBT, when we "bring it" it's an entirely different game! Having some fun ITRW as it slowly sinks in - It's not me that needs to up my game :-)
You GO Mike!
Man...you are so doing this thing!
Awesome!!
Susan,
It's been a "Kung Fu Panda" experience for me. Simpy not noticing that some things I do for fun and relaxation might have value, might be considered difficult by others.
One day I wondered "What if I try to merge these two areas of my life". Another day was "oh, and there's this stuff as well. What if I merged that in as well?" "oh and then there's this stuff as well."
I look at the result and think "OMG!! How could I not notice who I am". So focussed on the pieces you don't notice the jigsaw being built.....
Then It's easy to say "look at the jigsaw and tell me what you see!"
Now it's a case of seeing what happens....
This right here...is exactly what I needed to read today.
Thank you for that .
Susan, I can tell you have thought this one out really well. You are a very wise lady who has learned the hard way that you are the one who knows what is good for you, not some so-called expert who doesn't have a clue as to what it means to be a survivor/thriver. You are both. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Susan, this poem is WONDERFUL! POWERFUL! AWESOME! WOW! I'm sharing it.
@MIke...I love the way you put things together...merging of the parts of life. Awesome!
@Tracie - I am so tickled that this post spoke to you where you are at...I love those "coincidences"!
Pat...I am always so glad to see you and thank you for your generous note! I feel privileged to be able to share my life lessons here and so grateful we can all share the journey!
Elaina....Thank you for your note AND for sharing!
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