My "Do Over"

Each Season is New
"Spring"

From the archives of May 2010...

Each year consists of 365 days, each day holds the same 1,440 minutes. I got tired of year after year being the same, feeling the same hopelessness for anything more than the chronic emotional anguish that I had lived in for years. Helpless to believe that I had any power to change this. I was just surviving but not really living.

Some time ago I started looking at each day as another 1,440 opportunities to stop whatever wasn't working and start over, begin making new choices, creating the life I want today in spite of what my yesterday looked like.

If today isn't what I want it to be - I have 1,440 chances to turn it into the life I want by choosing differently...by being aware of the thoughts that drive my dependence on other people, places and things that really have no bearing on how my day plays out. Then choosing to come back to the understanding that while I can't always choose what is going on in my life at any given moment - I can always choose how I let it affect me and what my response will be to any given situation or circumstance.
Every moment of every day is a chance to have that "do over" that I'd always wanted.
~

Left Brain + Right Brain = Wise Mind

I used to be ashamed for being "smart"; I actually felt stupid because I was told I was wrong for using my brain especially in my attempts to find my way out of that dark place. In hindsight it was kind of like the mechanic that doesn't want you to know how to change your own oil or he will lose business.....creating dependency.

Each time I would find a seed of hope or insight....or disagreed on being labeled as "lifetime member" of Club MI....

My hand got slapped and I was typically told I was "intellectualizing" or being "difficult"

But part of using my "smart" is that I learned how to recognize when "being smart" and searching for my own answers became another "avoidance" behavior that was hindering rather than helping me along in my journey....

For some reason being smart isn't allowed; compliance is what's expected - I often had T's and Docs that would tell me to stop using their "lingo"...to stop trying to "intellectualize" this stuff and "just do it" - with no instructions no less...

T: "you are co dependent" or "you need to set some boundaries"....yeah; thats kind what I'm doing here so how would you suggest I do that?....

...yet

That is exactly how I found my way out of the darkness.

Knowledge is power, and truth sets us free...

I had one person who encouraged me to use my intelligence to connect with my emotions.

And I did.

Left Brain + Right Brain = Wise Mind

So I drew my own map and began this awesome Journey!

W00t!

:)