Healing from a trauma experience is just not that easy though, is it? And to approach it like this I have found adds to my feelings of helplessness and hopelessness when I give control of my healing to someone else. The only way I can get better is to take responsibility for my own journey. Read up on this idea at Michele's new website where she discusses Self Empowered Therapy as a model of recovery.
I entered the mental health system back in the early 1990's searching for help as I exited a marraige and ten years of intermitant physical violence and daily mental and emotional abuse. Like Ellen talks about in her post "Why I dislike my (former) Psychiatrist" when I tried to bring up my life experiences with my doctors and therapists of this and the abuse and neglect I lived in as a child, I was dismissed and medicated. I spent the next fifteen years in a medicated stupor attempting to be that "good patient" - because I believed that if I just did what the doctors and therapists told me to do that I would get better. Wrong.
In reality what happened is that I gave away my power when I believed that "they" could "fix" me somehow. I accepted the many diagnosis' and medications (that changed numerous times over the years) and believed that something was inherently wrong with me, that I was "broken" for life; "damaged goods" as one professional put it.
What I have since learned is that my stess reactions to my past experiences have been completely normal; it was the ongoing and long term abuse that was abnormal. Read more about PTSD and COMPLEX PTSD here
I have also learned that if a chosen path is not working ie helping me to cope better that it is not necessarily "my fault" and that I can choose another path of work.
A few steps I have taken to take back my life - my own "theory" to my personal efforts of change
1. I am able and capable to manage my own life and recovery
2. I am no longer a vulnerable child and have the resources as an adult to cope
3. As an adult, I am responsible for my choices
4. I CAN learn to change. I was "taught" how to be a victim as a child - I can find and use resources to LEARN how to get over this stuff. Micheles website and blog is a great place to start.