Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Writing a New Ending to the Trauma Experience


This picture hangs on the wall by my front door. I created it as a part of my healing process to exemplify my experience of what it was like for me to "go through" the pain to "get out of" that dark place of shame and claim my "me-ness" which btw - was the exact place where I discovered that in spite of the past, the traumas, I could begin to create my best life each day. This is where I made the mind-shift to lay claim to one of my tag lines...

"No longer a victim and more than a survivor; creating and living my best life!"

Today let's take a look at part of the insight - those "aha!" moments - that led me down this path...


What's the diff between "story" and "story"?

What I've found along the way is that I would often get stuck in "story"...

the "reliving" of the past where nothing good ever came of the situation.

This is that place where I am literally "stuck" in the anger and injustice at the past.

Where I'm focussed on those people who wronged me

the situations and circumstances where I felt powerless and indeed may have been powerless - like a car accident, an abuse situation, or where I trusted someone and was betrayed.

This is "rumination".

This is where I lived in resentment

and grudges.

My anger was often justified at those things - those people places and things that I had put my trust in and in some way I was injured.

But I have since learned to use this anger to propel me through the healing journey.

How?

By recognizing "anger" as part of the natural human healing process

and

with intention

moving from the anger at the injustice and pain

through the emotional healing process

to reach the grief

the tears

the deep inner wounds

and let go

of the idea of finding justice where there may be none

accepting that I was truly powerless in this situation

that ruminating it over and over will not create a different outcome

or give me power to force justice for my pain

and in letting go of the "anger"

and telling the "story" over and over in my head and to anyone who would listen

I was able to get to my "story"

embrace and integrate the pain of the past

into my today

and allow the end to finally be written

in my tears.




Listen in to how I learned to use anger to fuel my healing and find freedom from the pain of the past Empowering Solutions: Letting Go of the Battle


Q: How have you made that shift from "story" to creating the ending, finding closure and creating your best life in spite of past traumas?


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7 comments:

Paula said...

Short and simply: my triggers have become my treasures. Teaching where to look, release and adjust.

Susan said...

Beautiful, Paula.

"My triggers have become my treasures"....and teachers of where to look, release and adjust.

Simplicity in the complexity of trauma.

And yes; when we can get beyond the "story" and reach the story - it really is this simple.

Thank you for that:)

Inside the Mind of a... said...

That was beautiful. I think it's just said simple. let go of the old and let in the new. I wish it were just as easy to do though..

hope things are going well! :)

Susan said...

Inside the mind...

Thank you for your comment - I really appreciate that you took the time to leave it:)

And I agree - it sounds so simple, and it really is....although it is not an easy thing to practice, especially in the beginning when I started making this change.

To find healing and peace was presented to me as a long drawn out process that required years and years of intervention by the "professionals"....but what I found is that this really is not rocket science and that I had everything I needed to find my way.

I enjoyed your note...you bring up such a valid point...thank you for sharing:)

Kristin said...

HI Susan,
I have been out of the loop but anxious to get caught up on your always captivating posts. This one is no exception. In fact, it is exactly what I have been thinking about lately.
You would be the perfect person to ask some questions but I think that I might send you an email. Hope that is ok.
You have a real knack for distilling an experience and finding the truth in your experiences. Simple as everyone has commented is not always so easy when your brain is used to creating drama and chaos. And, how true it is that the public story is so prominent when the silent story in the shadows is the one that needs the voice.
xx kris

Susan said...

Hi Kristin! You are always welcome to send me a note:)

You'd said "Simple as everyone has commented is not always so easy when your brain is used to creating drama and chaos."

This is the understanding that I found in neuroplasticity and carving those new neuropathways by creating new experiences. This is also where the emotional struggle takes place as we leave behind the safety net of the familiar, I've found.

I always appreciate seeing you Kris!

Anonymous said...

Hi - I am definitely delighted to find this. cool job!