Monday, November 1, 2010

From Stuck to Un-Stuck

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Finding myself in a "stuck" place where all I could do was talk about a life event or those involved in it became a signpost telling me where I was in my journey.


I've learned that I could get myself "un-stuck" if I could shift to talking and thinking in terms of how the event affected me instead of what others have done, didn't do or should have done...


Very often the first emotion I would feel around a particular life event that came up in my healing journey was anger, especially if my initial perceptions and feelings around this event had been denied by others in some way.


It was through learning to validate my own experiences and the emotional pain around it that I was able to make the mind shift from anger and rumination to acceptance and resolution. 

This is where I discovered what it meant to "go through" to "get out of" the pain of the past as I allowed the initial anger to be the door to grief and grief the key to my freedom. 


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7 comments:

grace2244 (a/k/a Maggie) said...

This is so true. My standby statement for such times is to put my wading boots on and go into pond of muck and wade to the other side. Feels stuck while in the muck but moving forward. You said it much more eloquently. ♥

Susan said...

Maggie; I think each of us finds the words to describe this experience...and the more ways we can describe it the easier it is for others to be able to say "I get it!". So thanks for sharing how this experience "looked" to you!

Paul said...

How wonderful. Yes, it's great to learn that one can move themselves from a place of immobility to a place of freedom. I'm glad you found your way to do that.

Patricia Singleton said...

Such a very important distinction between blaming and really connecting with feelings about the abuse and its lasting effects upon your life.

Susan said...

Paul - hi! Good to see you! And yes I agree it is vital for us to find healing is when we can take the reigns and make this kind of mind shift; and me too Paul...this issue was really a big one for me to be able to finally be able to do the hard work that is a part of the healing journey so I could move past surviving to finally learning how to live:)

Susan said...

Patricia; that is such a true statement. I didn't realize for the longest time that I just didn't have the words to express my emotions about what I had experienced. Learning to recognize this behavior was vital to me being able to learn the language to express my anguish and grief around these issues.

~Kyla~ said...

This is true, Anger was what i had experienced ALOT. the past couple of months, i have noticed a HUGE change with that. I do get upset and frustrated at times but it's nothing like it use to be, thank Goodness.)
Every word you say speaks clearly to me.And true- you can move forward! takes some bumps in between but you gota just keep climbing that mountain~