Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Turning The Light On


And Then There Was Light
March 2010 by SusanKs
Learning to see, understand and accept the world on its terms meant learning to 


see, 


understand 


and 


accept when I wasn't.

Eh?

Along the way one of the things that was core and foundational to my transformation from that...

perpetual victim

to

the powerhouse I am today :)

began with...

Here it comes....

Wait....

Wait...

Its really simple...

but it is definitely not

easy.

Here it is....

Almost there....

Ready?

The lightbulb began to glow dimly when I 

began to choose

Awareness. 

Instead of

Avoidance.

Yup.

Awareness.

No.....


Not of what everyone else was doing wrong and that pissed me off


or hurt me, scared me and sent me running


with my tail between my legs


finding comfort in my weakness...

I can't...

But they...

But its....

so

HARRRRRDDDDD.

Yup.

That was me. 

Just a few short years ago.

And it began to change

when I began to change.

Awareness.

Its the beginning of

the end

of the nightmare.

Its where I began to discover that I held the power to create the change

that would ultimately

change my life. 

6 comments:

Sandy said...

This post really speaks to me as I search for my own awareness. It is so hard to find it, but its gotta be in there somewhere :)

Susan said...

Hi Sandy...I guess the first lesson I learned...was that awareness is a skill and its in practicing it that this skill lost its mystery. I began with simply practicing becoming aware of the thoughts I was thinking. From there I was able to develop awareness of the more unconscious things like when I was avoiding my feelings and in sitting with and through the feelings of distress I learned I could live beyond them and thus - create my "best life".

It takes time....be gentle with you as you seek and you WILL find what you are looking for:)

healing_within said...

Hi Susan I would love to know more about being "aware" and awareness Do you speak more about how one develops this .. You write SO Beautifully

Joy

Susan said...

Hi Joy...yes I do write on this topic quite a bit. If you'd like to read more about this you can go to the search bar in the upper left corner and search for a few keywords: awareness, mindful awareness and avoidance (which is the opposite of awareness).

Thank you for your note and for letting me know this is a topic that interests you:)

Susan

Kate said...

I really like your blog. Your posts have such a nice flow and they're simple but so powerful.
This post is something I'm struggling with - Believing that I can make a change instead of just believing that I'm powerless. And I'm finding it so hard to not avoid my feelings - some of that is so engrained in who I am that it's hard to change!

Susan said...

Thank you for that Kate:) Its nice to know that you find something helpful here and I appreciate that you took the time to tell me:)

Yes; in the beginning it IS a bit of a struggle although with time becomes less so:) Hang in there Kate and thanks so much for your note:)