Saturday, January 2, 2010

Free fall...

Free fallin'.

I posted John Mayers version of this Tom Petty classic yesterday here.

This is one of those songs that I think of as an example of what its like to go through this process of healing from the past and letting go of that pain that seems to otherwise dwell in the deepest and darkest places of my being. Those experiences that made me who I am today. The hurt, the shame, the fear, the guilt that formed who I was and how I had lived my life.

But when I made the decision to get beyond all of that and to" step off to the unknown"...I truly believed that "one of two things would happen"....

And after awhile there was sometimes something there for me to stand on as I learned to become aware of the thoughts and beliefs that held me in that prison in my own mind.

But at I learned to believe in myself, trust myself and learn to surround myself with those who would encourage and uplift me --- to let go of the relationships that needed me to be dependant or "ill", those who told me how no matter what it was, it just wasn't good was more about learning to trust myself. It was about learning that I no longer had to be consumed by the demons that haunted me from my past, or the fear that enveloped me about my future. It was "stepping off into the unknown"...and trusting that I would learn how to fly if I could just....let go.

I believe I can fly...!
Originally uploaded by rAmmoRRison

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