It is Never Too Late...

Here's something I wonder about...


We know and have acknowledged that emotional and mental distress is a normal response to abnormal life circumstances. 

Research shows the correlation of distressful environments and trauma to mental health diagnosis. 

Yet - those who suffer are labeled as "ill", "sick", "diseased" and "disordered"....while those who are the cause and source of the trauma, oppression, abuse and neglect are often not and if they are - they often use this as an excuse to continue to perpetrate this dysfunction in their families instead of as a reason for their own pain and to find a path to wholeness and healing.

Then as we enter the healing journey we are perhaps classified or identify ourselves as victims. 

and this is true - I was a victim

but I am no more.

We have learned to survive...

but often not how to live beyond that.

Diagnosis is used as an end all; a reason for

"this is why I'm messed up"

instead of the beginning of a map to take us beyond "messed up".

We are taught coping skills and avoidance tactics to manage symptoms of these diagnosis that are said to be ingrained, inbred and unchangeable.

How do I know this?

Because I've BTDT. :))

Thats been there, done that :) 

I resided in the mental health system that for nearly 2 decades told me that I was my problem; that my brain was broken.

I was also told that I was the problem why "therapy" and the drugs never worked.

I was "resistant"

"difficult, diseased, disordered and finally - dysthymic"...meaning I would never be "better". 


That forever I would have this heavy cloud and fog overshadowing every moment 


of every day. 


And because I did not know any different 

I accepted this as my "truth".

It was my "normal" to allow others to define me and direct my life and how I viewed my reality.

Today though?

I no longer accept or identify with the idea that I am sick

or ill

or diseased, defective or disordered.

And I am most definitely not

"dysthymic". :))

Instead

I've chosen a different path

one that leaves me feeling empowered and enabled.

A path that has brought me to my "best life"....

The one I choose for myself and create

every day. 

So today...

I no longer wish for a miracle

because I am one. :))

My passion is to share a message of hope, healing and self discovery that it is completely possible to learn to live far beyond that place of broken and 


that it is never too late to learn to create 


and live 


our best life. 

Every day. 

Check the archives...

To Thine Own Self Be True (links to this 3 part series is in this post as well:))

I Am Not a Can of Soup (talking about labels:))

I've Got a Feeling! (this post talks about the language we use that defines our reality:))

Def:empower-empou-r-verb (this post discusses what it means to "empower" ourselves:))

And my wish for you.....I Hope you Dance... :))

The purpose of this blog....

Photo Credit

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

Claiming A New Paradigm...For Myself

So back to the idea of "can we shift from a mindset of "illness" to one of "wellness"...

Part of making that shift from "illness" to "wellness" mindset was choosing to see "diagnosis" and "symptoms" as something I can learn to change vs. seeing these labels as something I "have"...and I have no control over or power to change.

In talking with others I've noticed how they, like me in the past, talk about their mental wellness - or lack of it - as though it is a "thing".

And while it's true that this is the message we've been getting since Bill W. called alcoholism a "disease of the mind"...I found that in owning this message I was left feeling very dis-empowered. Or if you've been around for awhile, you may notice this is an idea that falls under that concept of "feeling powerless" (click to listen to what I said about "powerless" on BTR)

I felt powerless to change because I viewed my coping mechanisms of "acting out"; irritability, anger, aggression, hyper-vigilance ie the "lashing out" at the world and others - as well as the "acting in"; depression, dissociation, insomnia aka the "self harming" behaviors -as related to this "diagnosis" that told me that I had some "genetic" mutation in my genes that made it impossible to change"it" or the behaviors related to it.

By "buying into" the idea that my emotional and cognitive distress was something I "had" ie "I HAVE (fill in the blank with whatever your "diagnosis" or "symptom" is)..."

I was left feeling as though I had no power to change my life because that is what I had been told by the providers of...and is the "standard of care" in the biological, genetic, medical, disease model of mental health issues.

It was hard letting go of this paradigm of "care"...

I mean....come on; these guys are the "doctors", the "providers".....

Yes; but they are not "god".

And I gave them 15 years of my life to "fix me"....

But I found "wellness" when I gave up "illness" as my chosen "paradigm".

Next time....a look at what is a "paradigm" in the sciences....

Q: How have you claimed your own power recently?

The Sting of Stigma and Unconditional Love: "The Wind Never Lies" Part 2

Here is a link to read part one of "The Wind Never Lies" by Steve Morgan

The comment below came from Mel, a friend on Facebook, who had this to tell me about a friends tragic journey through the mental health system after reading my post (an excerpt) from "The Wind Never Lies" - you can read the original and entire article here at Beyond Meds.

"Thank you so much for sharing this little treasure Susan! I'm still reading but there are so many things that jump out; ah ha...

Years before my trauma, when life was stable with good health my best friend was diagnosed with Bipolar. This was my first real intimate exposure to mental illness. Over the next five years I would visit her everyday during the 2 -3 times a year when she was hospitalized.

After 5 years from her diagnosis, she developed stiff neck and crossed eyed syndrome while we were on a weekend whistler trip. Within days she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She was given weeks to live.

Did she fall between the cracks of the medicare system? Who knows, they say bipolar can mimic brain tumors. They never investigated the possibility of anything other than she is crazy and lets load her up on pills and ECT treatment.

My point is, as she lay dying in the hospital, so many people began to arrive to pay their respects to her, her husband and family, the same people who made jokes and abandoned her years prior. The stigma attached to labeling someone can be so harsh.

Perhaps my exposure to how society views mental illness has contributed to my own isolation living with PTSD, fear of being stuck forever in this place which others say I cannot recover from and heal."

( Below is the response I got from Mel when I asked if I could publish her story here...this note is a true portrayal of what unconditional love looks like in action....)

"For sure you can post it. I love talking about Julie's story. She was so amazing. Funny thing was I always told her I didnt think she was bipolar, some would view her as acting crazy at times but strangely I saw it as being in another dimension or something. I never told her that seeing men in trees was her imagination, just that I couldnt see them. I spent the last 5 years of her life protecting her and not from herself but from the cruelty of society...

The cool thing about her case is a board member of opthamology in BC pushed the government to include eye care into the medicare coverage. He was really moved by her case and felt she could have been diagnosed earlier had she been to get her eyes checked regularly. "

Once given the label "Mental Illness" many become "marked" and treated as "less than". Once this mark has been given, it often becomes the basis for discrimination, abuse and neglect.

Stop the Sting of Stigma.

You can find Mel on Facebook here.

If you or someone you know has had similar experiences, I would like to invite you to contact me by leaving a comment here or...

Via Facebook here

Via twitter click here

Kyla's Question on The Zebra Effect: Meltdown or Mastery?

In last week's post Black and White - The Zebra Effect, Kyla brought up a good question on the thought about focusing on the labels that come with "symptoms" of a "diagnosis"...you can read the full comment stream at the original post here.

Kyla's Question:

Q: " ...I do have a question though, regarding what you were saying about symptoms, do you mean it's not good to focus on those? I was just curious what you meant"

A: Hi Kyla! Good question - you've been reading my mind! I was just thinking it was time to post about the subject....I'll do my best to answer you here though to start with...

"Symptoms" can be a double edged sword, I think.

On one hand, when my focus is on only the label of "diagnosis" or "symptom", I'm focussed on doing whatever I have to do to "avoid" "triggering" the "flashbacks", "nightmares", "hyper-vigilance", "depression" and so on - the stuff PTSd is made of:) and often the groundwork for additional mental health and physical diagnosis down the road.

Here, the focus is on the label and "managing" the "symptoms".

In this case, the presumption was there is no solution - so it was vital to be able to recognize what might "trigger" a "symptom" in order to maintain any sense safety and congruency of self. I studied, read and learned all I could about my "diagnosis" and how to recognize the onset of a "symptom".

I was effectively anticipating the onset of the next trigger and an increase in my "symptoms".

But - even with all the knowledge and understanding of "diagnosis" and "symptom" I couldn't make "it" stop; it was as if the "diagnosis" had developed a life of it's own and I took it on as "me".

"Hi; my name is Susan and I have _________(diagnosis)

Or "Hi; my name is Susan and I'm ______________(diagnosis).

I was taught how to "cope" and "manage"; but not to live without these "symptoms" that my life was built around and tormented me day and night.

In this mindset, I learned to do what I could to avoid the "triggers" and "symptoms" that came along with my "diagnosis". I did the best I could to learn to just "live with it", managing the best I could with the limited resources I had found. I was dependent on external resources to manage and cope.

I felt powerless.

Often I could not find relief from the "symptoms" and this is when the negative coping came into play. It was exhausting and draining to live this way and in time I was living with more mental health and physical illness "symptoms" from the unresolved stress response...I was "surviving" day to day...but I was not living the life I wanted for myself.

On the other hand if I'm in a situation and become aware that my body is tense, I feel agitated and on guard - I recognize the signs or indicators and have since learned how to use natural ways to bring down the stress response instead of being swallowed up by it.

In this scenario I'm learning to become aware of my physical, cognitive and emotional response aka "symptoms" of emotional stress and indicators of the emotional distress that we have come to know as "mental illness" and with this insight can choose to utilize healthy coping skills vs the unhealthy coping skills of avoidance aka dissociation, addiction, self harming etc....

I believe using the labels that come with diagnosis and symptoms can either cripple us - or become a tool we can use to consciously create the change we desire for ourselves.

In the past I was focussed on anticipating the symptoms and thus - the conundrum of PTSd - perched, ready to do anything to avoid triggering symptoms that had no end but...

today...these same "symptoms" can guide me down the path to self empowered healing when I view them as a map that will guide my journey.

Thanks for asking Kyla; this was a great question!

Susan

PS A final note - I've learned that if I am still "triggered" in a situation - I can use this as an indicator of perhaps I am ready to do some emotional healing related to the issues that come up rather than that of "it's hopeless".

Trusting the process :)

I Gotta Feelin'...Whooo Hoooo!

Language.

It takes some time to learn to speak a new language, doesn't it?

As infants we come into this world with no verbal language skills. We observe, listen....babble; and one day an intelligible word slides out and we have successfully begun the process to assimilate (I'm seeing the "Borg" in my head about now :-0) verbal language.

We are beginning to express ourselves. (ok...now it's Madonna :->)

And we begin to develop thoughts based on our reality, the world we live in, our life experiences. And our thoughts and beliefs begin to form, shaping us into who we will become.

And for the longest time we as a people believed that those intrinsic characteristics were "long lasting" and pretty much the way we were destined to be; happy or depressed, confident or of low self esteem....we became "disordered".

"I can't help it" is the mantra I chanted for many...many, years.

The thought never occurred to me that I could change what was "me"...the way I thought, the emotions I experienced, the actions and choices I made every day based on the imprinting of my childhood.

I felt powerless to stake claim on anything other than what I had known in my little world of self defeating behaviors, shame and a painful dependance on people and circumstances outside of myself to validate my existence and "make" me feel ok. I searched high and low for someone, anyone who could "fix" me yet I found no solutions to the emotional pain and psychological tortment I lived in every day.

Yet here I am today. Courageous, strong, living a new self-empowered life fueled by the knowledge that I get to get up tomorrow and do it all over again! Whooo hooo! (Are ya feelin' Fergie here yet?!)

In the next few posts I'll be diving into the language we use we use every day that paints the picture of what our tomorrow will look like. I hope you'll join me!

***

This post describes my personal "Genesis" as I learned the lesson that I could choose which thoughts to follow and more important, which ones to believe...Like the Little Engine That Could.

You can read about the struggle I faced as I began to claim my power and how I found my voice in the post I Am Not A Can of Soup.

PS don't forget to go to the sidebar and register for updates...I'd hate for you to miss what's coming up!

Thought for today...letting go of labels

For a very long time I lived my "labels"...they became who I was. When I thought of myself I thought of myself as the label given to identify the diagnosis and symptoms of my struggle. I found freedom when I started using diagnosis and symptoms as tools instead of taking them on as who I was and began to define myself as happy, kind, intelligent, thoughtful and brilliant....