Monday, April 26, 2010

I Gotta Feelin'...Whooo Hoooo!


Language.

It takes some time to learn to speak a new language, doesn't it?

As infants we come into this world with no verbal language skills. We observe, listen....babble; and one day an intelligible word slides out and we have successfully begun the process to assimilate (I'm seeing the "Borg" in my head about now :-0) verbal language.

We are beginning to express ourselves. (ok...now it's Madonna :->)

And we begin to develop thoughts based on our reality, the world we live in, our life experiences. And our thoughts and beliefs begin to form, shaping us into who we will become.

And for the longest time we as a people believed that those intrinsic characteristics were "long lasting" and pretty much the way we were destined to be; happy or depressed, confident or of low self esteem....we became "disordered".

"I can't help it" is the mantra I chanted for many...many, years.

The thought never occurred to me that I could change what was "me"...the way I thought, the emotions I experienced, the actions and choices I made every day based on the imprinting of my childhood.

I felt powerless to stake claim on anything other than what I had known in my little world of self defeating behaviors, shame and a painful dependance on people and circumstances outside of myself to validate my existence and "make" me feel ok. I searched high and low for someone, anyone who could "fix" me yet I found no solutions to the emotional pain and psychological tortment I lived in every day.

Yet here I am today. Courageous, strong, living a new self-empowered life fueled by the knowledge that I get to get up tomorrow and do it all over again! Whooo hooo! (Are ya feelin' Fergie here yet?!)


In the next few posts I'll be diving into the language we use we use every day that paints the picture of what our tomorrow will look like. I hope you'll join me!

***

This post describes my personal "Genesis" as I learned the lesson that I could choose which thoughts to follow and more important, which ones to believe...Like the Little Engine That Could.

You can read about the struggle I faced as I began to claim my power and how I found my voice in the post I Am Not A Can of Soup.

PS don't forget to go to the sidebar and register for updates...I'd hate for you to miss what's coming up!





2 comments:

Stacy said...

I've certainly gotten to the point of seeing that the decisions I make have a huge impact on my life and how I feel. Sometimes the best decisions are hard to figure out and hard to follow through on but I'm still trying. I do think it's possible though that I can impact my depression and related issues with the choices I make.

Susan said...

Well said, Stacy! Depression for me came into play when I was feeling helpless/hopeless to make my life anything other than what it was. As I tuned into this and began to be aware of how the thoughts I chose to follow could impact my mood I learned the value of self awareness and that it was a skill that could be developed.

Some days were better than others and there were plenty of false starts and stops along the way. The biggest thing was learning to recognize those subtle thoughts that told me I was not capable and where those thoughts/feelings came from ie as a child I truly was dependent on others and felt helpless - and that today I am safe and I can do this.

Wishing for you an awesome day!

Susan