Am I Living My Own Truth?

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This post is a continuation of this post "Seeking and Living our own "truth" that stemmed from this quote:

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

In learning to recognize when and if I am living my own truth or if I am trying to live up to the truth of another, there are many indicators that I’ve learned to pay attention to. Today I wanted to share a few of them here….

Sharing: in living my own truth, I am free to share the parts of my life that I choose to share; my experiences are respected as my own, my feelings about my experiences are validated, I feel heard and safe.

In relationships that are based on the truth of another, it feels more like I have been questioned or am undergoing an interrogation. If I attempt to not be fully disclosing about something in my life I may be demeaned or criticized as though it is a personal affront or somehow inappropriate to have this personal boundary.

Relationships supportive of my seeking my own truth are supportive and respectful of my thoughts, feelings and choices without asking for or expecting justification.

In relationships where I may be following someone else’s truth I may feel as though I am supposed to explain my thoughts, feelings and experiences in order to make them valid or that someone else is giving them value for them to even have any value or be legitimate.

Creating change: Relationships that support me in seeking my own truth support and accept the natural changes that occur in me and my life as I grow.

When I've found myself trying to conform to or live the truth of another I've consistantly found that these relationships often discourage my growth and often send me “change back” messages that discourage change.

This can become confusing because sometimes these relationships would profess support for the positive changes in my life and choices I was making but then they would remind me that I was really incapable of doing life on my own terms by cautioning me and reminding me of my previous attempts to fly on my own and how I had failed before.

Obligation: When I am seeking my own truth my relationships support me as capable of asking for what I need whereas in the truth of another I was often told what I needed.

If I didn’t agree or adopt this truth of another I might experience some sort of criticism intended to shape my chosen truth to compliance. Guilting or shaming is often used to shape resistance into compliance.

I often felt obligated to accept the "help" that was offered, even though it was not the help or support I had asked for and that would have made the biggest difference in my own quest for my own truth.

I was often reminded that I was incapable of deciding for myself what it was that I needed or wanted; that someone else knew better and was acting in my "best interest". Sometimes this was blatent, other times more subtle; but the message was always "if you did what I told you to do this problem would go away".

In summary – when I was living the truth of another, I felt incapable and often insignificant.

I doubted my own ability to seek, discover and live my own truth because I was so invested in living up to the expectations of the truth of another. I felt powerless and ultimately hopeless that I even had my own “truth” let alone that it was ok for me to want it and seek it out.

The best way I have found to determine today if I am living my own truth vs being invested in living the truth of another?

I learned to trust that deep knowing and understanding that I truly am my own best resource; that I don't need anyone or anything to give me or my life value.

I understand the difference between seeking feedback and seeking permission.

I let go of the idea that I was somehow not "good enough" and that I am somehow broken by rejecting those thoughts and choosing thoughts that supported the idea that I am capable.

I focus on the idea and thoughts that each day I have done my best and tomorrow is another opportunity to continue to learn, grow and change as I continue to seek the knowledge that will offer me the wisdom that I truly am capable of creating and living my own best life, my own “truth”.

I remind myself daily that I am - and that is the only justification that I need.

I over-ride the old messages and shame from the past and tell myself consistently that..

my best IS good enough... and that "I am"

and that is enough.

I'd like to invite you to register for the free email notification on the top left of this page so you don't miss out on the next post in this series "To Thine Own Self Be True" and what a possible solution is if you think you may be living the truth of another.

Q: Are you living your own truth today?

The Conundrum in this healing journey

This is a follow up to my post on the Emperor Moth story it's a good one. You should check it out.

Yesterday over at Michele Rosenthals blog Heal my PTSD we had an active discussion on the"Why"behind the issues of some folks perhaps resisting the idea that they can heal v. ruminating on their "issues".

Personally, I truly believe that whatever circumstances that life gives us, we each have all that we need within ourselves to become the majestic beings we were meant to be, however we choose to define ourselves.

When I was walking this part of my path, searching for my answers, trying to find my way I came to a realization similar to what Ellen had to say in yesterdays comments: The first part of healing it is feeling it...

And this is the conundrum we seem to face in this discussion. (((Conundrum: a difficult question, a riddle)))

Each of us who is on this journey of healing has their own story, their own pain, their own suffering.

Each of us has found in our journey different ways of coping, surviving, healing.

The one commonality seems to be that most of us agree on what Ellen so eloquently yet simply stated: The first part of healing it is feeling it.

This brings me back to the story of the Emperor Moth.

This is very similar to what it felt like to me as I was facing my own past experiences of trauma.

For years, I avoided it. I numbed it.

But then I got tired of it. Another great statement from Mike on yesterdays discussion: "I'm sick of this shit and I'm not going to take it anymore".

I had come to that place where I knew it was going to be difficult. In fact "weeping and knashing of teeth" doesnt start to describe the pain I went through in order to get out. Check out my post Was it worth it? HELL yes to see how I felt about this part of my journey.

This is the "hard work" that I have found to be the key to breaking free of the past. To face the pain was to finally let it go.

I also believe that each of us has our own path to follow and that in our own time we will find the way that works for us; we each walk our own journey.

Regardless of the "how" or "when" you choose your healing path doesnt matter. The point is - we don't have to walk this path alone anymore. Here is a varition on a "cadence" that I wrote for a local survivors group:

There is no difference, no good or bad

only experiences that we have had.

Walk by me, we'll take a stand

get out of that ole quicksand

Take a breath

and soon you'll see

life was meant for you to be

all you are and something more

We each

can walk right through that door

We are not alone

anymore.

Owning it

Meet Zeus!

I'm always looking around inside and outside of myself to find ways to explain what it is that I've been able to do as I've created this new paradigm of wellness for myself...

It's one thing to know that I've been able to make that mind-shift for myself from "illness" to "wellness" it's another thing to be able to share with others just how I did that - how I found my way from "there" aka that very dark place to "here" where I live in the light and create the life of my choosing each day - minus the chronic "symptoms" of "mental illness" and the smorgasbord of "diagnosis" that I had accepted for many, many years. (More on my journey is here)

So today's metaphor comes from my dogs. Well - one of them lives with me (Brindle:)) the other visits when my son is out of town (Zeus:)).

And today I'd like to introduce you to Zeus - and tell you that when he and Brindle are playing, he OWNS his rawhide...

"Owns" as in he walks around with it in his mouth, he tosses it up in the air and pounces on it like a puppy, shakes it back and forth as though he was the magnificent hunter that brought home dinner....

He doesn't hesitate, doesn't seem doubtful of himself.

He is "dog".

He IS

and he doesn't doubt that.

He is Master of the Rawhide.

Confident....sure of his place in the world of rawhides:)

And this is what I've found to be so vital to my own healing, making that mind shift from the dark tormenting thoughts that could drag me down and cause me such misery and recognizing the source of that doubt as from the lies of the past where I was taught that I was "less than"

not "good enough"

couldn't do things "right enough"

that whatever was wrong in the world it was

"my fault".

I learned that I had to OWN my existence - my "I am-ness" and become master of my own journey and my healing, not question it or doubt it but to embrace it, play with it, experiment in my days, find the internal confidence that cancels the doubt that could keep me frozen and inert.

I used the negative thoughts to guide my changes and learn to "over-ride" the negative messages that ran constantly in what I call the "subtitles" in the back of my mind that fueled that feeling of "less than" and caused me to instinctively want to isolate from the world and hide in my shame that something was "wrong" with me.

Is this kind of internal change "easy" to come by?

No.

But it is so well worth it.

See "Was it Worth It?" here.

Q: How have you learned to OWN your own wellness and create that mind-shift from "illness" to one of living in "wellness"?

To Thine Own Self be True

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You can read up on Seeking and Living our own "Truth" here and Am I living my own truth? here; this series stemmed from this quote from twitter friend @SarahEOlsen2009 and her recent post...

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

Sometimes we can get caught up in living the truth of another - someone who firmly believes that they have found "the truth"...the "way" and "THE light".

The thing is that sometimes those of us who come from backgrounds where we may have been discouraged from developing a clear sense of "self" we can easily find ourselves living the truth of someone else without even knowing it simply because we have never had the experiences of knowing what our own truth was. We may then find ourselves defending someone else's "truth" when we have adopted it as our own, closing off any opportunity to even discover what our own truth really is.

I'd left this note on the post Am I living my own truth in response to a readers comment:

"This post stemmed from the understanding I've found as I struggled with making that shift from dependence on others to define and guide my life to learning to be that independent and autonomous human being that I'd always heard about - but had no idea what that "looked liked"."

And I've found that imbalance doesn’t take place in only “domestic” or intimate relationships but also can occur in other venues and relationships from the neighbor next door to our local church as well as our health care.

For anyone who comes from a background where independence and development of a clear sense of self was discouraged rather than encouraged, where we were devalued or invalidated rather than held in high esteem and encouraged to become our best – we can find ourselves vulnerable as we turn to our intimate or even our professional relationships to be “taken care of”.

Sometimes in relationships where we find that we have been enmeshed in living the truth of another, there may be some resistance as we attempt to search for and learn to create and live that of our own truth.

Sometimes this resistance to our creating positive change in our lives may include reminding us that we “need” them, that we “can’t do it without them” or “after all I’ve done for you….”.

Any relationship that attempts to make us feel guilty or shame us into compliance is often a relationship that needs us to not grow, change or seek our own truth because to do so invalidates their truth and belief that their truth is the one and only truth.

Understanding that we have done nothing wrong is vital to being able to break free of the control or influence of those who for some reason resist or discourage our finding our own way and truth.

The solution is not to try to change others or convince them to accept me in my journey of seeking my own truth, but to seek my own truth through seeking the knowledge that would enable me to use wisdom to set personal boundaries and choose supportive relationships that value my personal journey to discover, create and live my own best life.

To be “true to yourself” is to live our own truth and we can find this truth by looking within ourselves instead of searching for it in others.

We can check to see if we are living our own truth vs that of another by asking ourselves one key question:

Does this relationship leave me feeling encouraged or discouraged?

To Thine own Self be true. ~ Shakespeare

Seek knowledge. Find Wisdom. Live your Truth. ~Susan:)

The Pied Piper

Part of "finding my voice" in my personal journey of "self discovery" had been making it "ok" to have my own opinion or strong feelings about things and not being afraid to give voice to them.

Today then - in all respect to those who may view things differently, I've opted to publish my thoughts and feelings about my journey from "there" to "here" where I live my "best life" and opt to no longer blindly follow what I call the "Pied Piper".

Ok...here's one of my gripes about what has become the current model of the mental health system....

It says "follow me" - blindly.

I mean - I "get" that the mental health and social welfare system is full of folks who want to help others and have really great intentions...

What I don't "get" is how those who have suffered the intense emotional and cognitive distress have been led to believe

that these issues are unchangeable.

Are these issues "real"??

Well, duh....YES.

AND many who have taken upon themselves to find life outside this inflexible view

have found that these issues can be overcome with

new information that

leads to seeing this from a different perspective

and creates an

"understanding" that leads to

the golden moment of

"aha"!

“Insight

comes from

new information

that

leads us to

the awareness

that will

empower us

to

create our own change.”

~a zebism

I was told that I was "broken", "defective" and "disordered"

would need "meds" for the rest of my life.

I was discouraged from doing my own reading, research or from trying to create my own solutions, to find my own way out of that "dark place".

Told I was "intellectualizing", "difficult", "resistant"....

my hands were slapped and I was sent to the corner because I dared to

question

those in "authority".

And -

I did it anyway.

I went to school and became educated in "psychology" and took many classes on "philosophy", I read books and was

"non compliant" as I felt my way out of the darkness alone and blindly forging my way to the light - forward to the life

I chose for myself

instead of what I was told I could have.

I learned about my "issues"

what they were, what they looked like and through learning new information that led me to "insight" and "awareness" of my own thoughts, emotions and physical self

I kept plowing forward

refusing to return to "compliant".

And I just want to say that

these issues

of emotional and cognitive distress that can lead one down the road to hell on earth...

it is possible to learn how to create the change we want...

it is possible to learn how to manage the thoughts, emotions and behaviors that create what is termed "mental illness".

Was it as easy as taking a pill to calm the racing thoughts?

No.

Was it is as simple as grabbing the Ativan to ease the feelings of panic?

No.

Was it worth the effort, the time, the investment to learn how to create this change?

Hell yes.

I am not out to change anyones mind about the "bio genetic medical model" of what is termed "MI" or that "meds" don't have a place in this kind of journey...

But -

I believe that each of us has the right to be educated and completely, honestly and with complete transparency

informed that there is

another option

that we can learn how to create the change we want

that it is not as mystical, mysterious and magical to find this awareness and insight as I had been led to believe it was.

That it is possible to begin to live the life we want

not the diagnosis we were given.

We are a brilliant species. Our brain and body so much more capable than what we have often come to believe...

and it breaks my heart to see the potential that is lost to the belief that the only solution is to follow the Pied Piper.

**

You can read more behind my personal journey in the following posts....

Was it worth it?

Once Broken Does Not Mean Forever Broken

The Wind Never Lies

Black and White: The Zebra Effect

"I've got a feelin'"

I Ceased to Exist

Claiming A New Paradigm...For Myself

And if you are looking for resources to support your own journey, I'd like to invite you to check the Resources page here.

Seeking and living our own "truth"

Photo Credit

This quote came to me via @SarahEOlsen2009 and her Favorite Tweet Stuff email...

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

And this caused me to remember a post I did awhile back about learning to recognize oppressive abuse in the dance of "Power and Control" and how we as survivors are sometimes easily groomed into compliance and can find ourselves following someone else's "truth" instead of that of our own....

From the archives - "Abuse Disguised...." an article that stemmed from recognizing power and control in religious and other professional venues and interpersonal relationships...

"Abuse is not selective and is in all life arena's and

...is all about telling another what to do, how to do it and when to do it

and

"you are wrong if you believe differently than I do or try to do it in any other way"...."

In understanding how to recognize and make different choices about the relationships we choose in our lives and the emotional boundaries we establish, it is helpful to understand what both a supportive relationship that encourages one to live their own "truth" might look like - as well as what a relationship looks like that is perhaps more about following and adhering to someone else's truth.

So for the next few post's I wanted to take a look at the idea of recognizing the difference between learning to seek for, find and live our own truth and if we might be falling into the subtle trap of believing someone else's truth over our own.

Today then....

In seeking my own "truth" and finding relationships that supported my quest to discover how to go about creating and living my own "best life" each day I found one consistant factor that I could trust.

That if I was involved in relationships that supported my search for healing, wellness and my own "truth" - I saw progress in my quest.

I began to find peace, hope and happiness.

I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel

I had an overwhelming sense of "life is good" and "I am ok".

vs

the nagging sense of "something is wrong....

and it must be me"

and an overwhelming sense of hoplessness, helplessness and

..."life sucks"

...I'll never be able to do this "right" or be "good enough"

...that came when I was following someone else's "truth" instead of seeking my own.

And that brings us back to today's quote...

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

I began to recognize that when I was seeking my own truth, supportive relationships supported this and encouraged me, told me that I had the wisdom and the ability to find my answers and live MY truth vs the relationships that were criticizing, questioning and telling me that my answers were somehow wrong...and the answers they were providing were the "right" answers. That somehow their "truth" was the only truth and if I didn't agree...well, then...something was of course wrong with me.

Join us here next time as we continue to look at this idea of the difference between truth "seeking" and being a follower of someone else's "truth".

Practice Will Make You Whole by guest blogger, Amy Eden (Part II of Raise Yourself Up!)

Amy Eden of Guess What Normal Is

Here is Part I of Raise Yourself Up!


Today we'll continue with Guest Blogger, Amy Edens series "Raise Yourself Up!", Part II.

Practice Will Make You Whole - Practicing at Becoming You

Our parents didn’t parent us well, for various reasons.  We can wring our hands and wonder why, why, why about that truly unfortunate fact of our lives and try to extract a bit of comfort from the questioning, but—we cannot change it.  Here and now, however, today—you are in charge of your self, your wellbeing, and you are now your own parent. 

So! What kind of parent do you want to be to yourself? 

You cannot copy the model you were given because the results—well, you already know those bad results.  You must develop a new model, and to do so you need to do some investigation.  Who are you?  Think about what it’s like to really know someone.  Can you think of a person whom you feel you really know? I bet that knowing their history, where that person came from, is a key part of your feeling of knowing them. 

Practice at getting to know where you come from—don’t worry about being perfect at it.  We tend to be perfectionists, so start thinking about self-work in terms of “practice” rather than “results.” Being in practice mode focuses our attention on the present moment—so we can not only enjoy the act of practicing itself, but also become present. (Being present is a valuable lesson because it provides us with the experience of feeling “okay” and safe, and forces us to release our need to control.)

Think of the practice of parenting yourself like yoga, learning a language, or a musical instrument, or exercise—something that needs conscious thought, repetition, and expansion into new areas, and just plain doing.

Here’s a definition from Webster’s:  Practice; (noun) late Middle English; “Repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency.”  

4 Practices for Raising Yourself Up

Practice at Learning Who You Are & What Happened

Practice at Doing Therapeutic Work 

Practice at Taking Care of Yourself & Making Changes

Practice at Being Present in the Happiness you Create

1.  Practice at Learning What Happened and Who You Are

First, it’s essential to understand, fully, what happened to you.  Go there.  It’s not a waste of time, it’s not “digging up old useless bones,” it’s not just “the past” that you can’t change—no, no!  It’s essential to excavate your childhood.  Find out what it means for people to grow up without having one’s self-esteem nurtured, but also what it meant for you in particular, given your unique circumstances, to have grown up as you did.  It’s essential that you dig deep to remember, articulate, and reflect on your own story and unique situation and reactions. Only if we tell what happened can we become truly free. This will begin to dissolve the burden that you carry—whether you realize it’s there on your shoulders or not (you’ll certainly feel it lifting!) 

Learning where you came from and who you are in a honest, formal, and committed way will be painful at first but will bring tremendous relief, and it will begin to provide you with a blueprint for healing on which you can actually take action. 

Be sure to examine, and address, the coping behaviors—especially addictions to food, excitement or work—that have become habits for you.

Clearly, this is something that needs to happen within a safe environment, one that will help you create borders around the old pain and present reality so that you don’t feel…well…like you’re losing your mind!  This work is best done with a therapist who you choose and with whom you feel safe, and who can help you contain the experience.

4 Practices for Raising Yourself Up

Practice at Learning Who You Are & What Happened

Practice at Doing Therapeutic Work 

Practice at Taking Care of Yourself & Making Changes

Practice at Being Present in the Happiness you Create

2. Practice at Doing Therapeutic Work

Although it’ll seem like the endpoint of looking into your past will be a pit of pain from which you’ll forever live, the truth is that you’ll arrive out in a patch of sunlight in an field—with yourself.  You’ll be light years closer to knowing who you are.  This is partly because you’ll see that who you were as a child was someone who adapted and coped to stay safe in whatever way you could.

You’ll come to realize that, while necessary, that’s not the Who you were meant to be, and that you want to get to the Who underneath all those protective survival layers.  You’ll come to have a much clearer picture of who you do not want to be, and simultaneously, begin to see (and with compassion) and feel that you have greater control over becoming who you do want to be. 

If you do this work, you will discover a lightness and freedom—and sense of your Self and clarity about what you need—like never, ever before.  It will be scary at times.  Some might think it would be “easier” to stick with the old way of denial and not feeling your feelings, but as soon as you put one foot into recovery, the rest of your body will ache to get in there, too.  Your heart will guide you. If you do this work, you WILL come through the darkness and to the other side, into the light of a life you want, that you made.

The intensity of feelings that uncovering our past traumas may bring up isn’t for the faint of mind, so you need a trustworthy therapist to help you navigate the terrain.  If you do this kind of work on your own, it’s very difficult to sort out the monsters from the angels—that is, it becomes very difficult to know whether or not your actions stem from avoidance or courage.  In truth, even the best therapist won’t be able to tell your monsters from your angels, but he or she will be able to give you the time and space within which to get enough perspective that you sure can. 

Be sure that you shop for a therapist just like people recommend shopping for a house—don’t pick the first one, evaluate a few (or several if you have to), and choose the one that feels most likely to provide comfort and safety.  Talk to them on the phone first, asking what their area of specialties are, and how many of their clients (not patients!) are trauma-survivors, or children of alcoholics, etc. Tell them what you’re struggling with, and ask what kind of approach they would take.  This saves your time, and theirs.  Any good therapist will spend up to 15, or more, minutes talking to you on the phone.  If you don’t like their attitude, voice, attitude, or answers—move on to the next name on your list.  Ask if they will give you a free consultation (or use your health insurance to cover it), and book a few appointments with a few different counselors—this will prevent you from feeling obligated to go with the first one you see. (Any good therapist will ask you, at the end of your first consultative session, if you feel it’s a good fit and if you’d like to continue.  Only a bad, desperate therapist will obligate you or sell you on committing to them.)  Remember—you’re the customer.

There’s reward in this:  the process of selecting a therapist is the first step in your healing!  It’s an opportunity to say what you want, and to actively choose the person who is going to collaboratively, with you, help you on your journey of self-investigation and self-repair so that you can live a life as you choose to live it.

~

Your comments, notes and aha's are invited and always welcome:)

Join us here next time for the conclusion (Part III) of Amy's series Raise Yourself Up!

Amy Eden, writer of fiction and creative nonfiction, has been studying and writing about issues of children of alcoholics for over fifteen years.  She has worked in book publishing and magazine publishing since 1994, and is currently an editor for a San Francisco-based book publisher. She has published nonfiction articles in city and national magazines, for educational publishers, and for the Web, and earned a BA in English and an MFA in creative writing.  Amy Eden’s inspiration for her self-improvement blog, “Guess What Normal Is” is to “help people trade armor for courage.”

~

 Thank you for reading today! Please visit Amy's blog Guess What Normal Is and let her know you found her via A Journey!

This post is property of its author; its publication here in no way implies endorsement nor should it be construed as medical or therapeutic advice. 

This Blog is Not Dead ....

This post will remain as a holding place and thank you note for following A Journey and on twitter - Zebdot :) I have enjoyed your notes, comments and emails over the past years. Please join me at my newest blog Empowering Solutions here as I spread my own wings and live my passion to help others who felt hopeless and powerless to find their hope by finding their power. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and I hope to see you there and perhaps back here one day. Susan

This Blog is not dead - not by a long shot. 

Although - it may seem that it is to the readers and followers who haven't seen me here in some time and that posts have been long in coming - when they do come.

The thing is....

Life changes - and as it does....we need to be ready to change with it or risk getting lost in it. 

This blog began in 2009 when I was still experiencing the early aftermath of being lost in the mental health system that told me my life "issues" were really an "illness". You can read more about that here. If you are interested to read more about the journey I experienced when I came off the drugs that I was told I would need "for life" you can read about how I realized it was the drugs that were causing the "illness" and how my journey to freedom from them started in 2007 here at Beyond Meds. And here you can read about how I found myself on an adventure of making sense of this paradigm of "illness" and how I discovered truths that "set me free".

2009 was a year where I was trying to find my voice - literally. After a lifetime of being told by others that I held no value of my own - only what they gave me - I literally had no "voice"; I was shaking in my boots. I had no sense of "self"; I had no opinions of my own. I was a true "chameleon".

I struggled with knowing who I was, what I wanted, what I liked or disliked. This Blog became part of my journey of self-discovery; along the way I separated myself from those who needed me to be "less" so they could be "more". I made the decision to exist. 

The calendar turned and 2010 rolled around. I had given much to doing the "hard work" of healing myself and my life from an early life of physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse that spanned my entire childhood. I understood the meaning of the poem by Patrick Overton and wrote my own version of it here. The photo on that page tells the story well; I knew I could not NOT move forward - yet that was the only option I had at the time; I could live or die trying.

I was willing to "go through" the pain and struggle in order to "get out of it" in order to get to my "best life". I also realized that there was no one to "blame"and as much as I wanted "justice" I had remind myself that while I was not responsible for what others did to me - I am solely responsible for what I do with what they did to me .  Here I also wrote a blog post about how I learned to find my own courage to do this. I learned a lot about Compassion and learning to let go of the need for justice that I would never get. 

I shared my story publicly for the first time in April of 2010 when Michele Rosenthal of Heal My PTSD invited me to do a radio interview. This in turn led to my own Blog Talk Radio series with Heal My PTSD and then in 2011 my own Blog Talk Radio channel - Empowering Solutions and a Facebook page here. 

The year 2012 continued to be part of this amazing journey. My private Facebook posts had become a community page; people who were in pain and struggling continued to reach out to me as I continued to post all the while wondering just what it was that I had that they found themselves drawn to. And what I kept hearing over and over was "thank you. I have never heard this before", "Your post today hit home with me".

And I realized that it was true - this journey is NOT about "fixing" something that is "broken" but about LEARNING how to do life differently; how to "be" and be separate from those who tell us we don't exist or exist only to serve their purposes, what they give us "permission" for.

 As 2012 came to a close I realized that a lot of what I had written in the past 4 years was about the story we tell ourselves and how in changing the story - we could change our lives.  My posting schedule began to wax and wane. 2012 closed with less than 40 posts - all year and 2013 has left me wondering: "What is it that I am supposed to be doing?". 

So here we are. 

2013 is slowly coming to a close and I do not feel that this is the "end" - but rather the beginning of a new adventure. An adventure that I'd like to invite you to join me on as we continue to explore the bigger world beyond our pain and struggle, finding our hope for a better future for ourselves and our families by finding that, like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ, we had the power all along:

Dorothy: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?
Glinda, the Good Witch: You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.
Dorothy: I have?
Scarecrow: Then why didn’t you tell her before?
Glinda, the Good Witch: Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.

I hope you'll join me here at the Facebook Community page. 

2014 is going to be a very good year - for all of us. :)

Namaste, bells, whistles and a little bit of Glinda's glitter.....:)

Susan

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!™