"I can't take it anymore" - Overwhelm as a normal response to overwhelming life experiences

"Overwhelm" is a common place for those who hail from backgrounds of drama/trauma/dysfunction.

Why? Because we are defective?

No.

Because we were often required to live life in survival mode where we rarely got reprieve from balancing learning and growing with staying out of harms way (be that emotional, psychological or physical harm). 

We also did not learn valuable life skills like prioritizing, choosing, organizing, boundary setting, self care and so on.

But today we are talking about that place of overwhelm...


That place where we want to stand up....

Stomp our foot...

And scream from the top of our lungs...

I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!

AAARRRRGGGGGG!

Or...

Maybe instead of lashing out...

We try to escape.

We run away.

We avoid.

We say one thing....

Why yes! I'd be delighted to help you paint your house, pack it up and move you across town!  

Yet do another....

That was yesterday? OMG! I completely forgot! 

Or maybe we'll get "sick"...or "hurt"

I am so sorry....I woke up with a sore throat/was up all night with my son/daughter/cat/dog...vomiting omg...I feel so sick, my foot is broken, I twisted my ankle chasing the damned cat....

Or maybe we'll pick a fight...

You said you would ____________. You are such a jerk/bitch/a****le. Well hell no - I'm not going to help you move. 

Or maybe we just....go away and fall into a place of depression and despondency...

Hoping no one finds us but ...wanting someone to rescue us, to pay attention to us....to take care of us. 

The point is....


A feeling of overwhelm is a normal response for those of us who have not had the life experiences that would allow us to know how to balance life on lifes terms. 

AND....

We can learn the coping and life skills that will enable us to feel empowered.


We can choose to change how we view ourselves....and the world around us.

We can learn to live as the creator of our "best life"...

That we can live our own "Un-limited life".

Where to begin? 

Right here.

Right now.

We begin by taking this off "auto pilot" and...

1. Acknowledge where we are right now - and that we don't have to stay there

Recognize and acknowledge that people, places, things and life circumstances are not causing our feeling of overwhelm but - that our inner resources are exhausted. 


Acknowledge and come to an understanding that the coping and life skills we learned in the trauma/drama/dysfunction were insuffiencient to allow us to not feel overwhelmed. 

Acknowledge that to create this change will take time and by knowing where I'm at....is the first step to getting where I want to be. 

2. Accept this as a normal response for our life experiences and that we can learn to live beyond it. 

Practice accepting that we are not defective but - that we are complete and full of an inner wisdom that once we begin to tap into it and become the creator of our life rather than a perpetual victim of life. 


Learning to view overwhelm not as  disorder or character defect -  but a normal human response to life circumstances that have overwhelmed our ability to cope is where I found the power to create this change. 

3. Awareness that this will take time. 

Grasp that there is no magic bullet, no one can fix this for us - but when we begin to see ourselves as capable...we will also begin to see how to create this change for ourselves

Focusing not on what we see as impossible but - each day rehearsing what we want for ourselves and the infinite possibilities that await us

Understand that it takes time to create change - that it is only in our childlike pain of never "being enough" that keeps us stuck in the magical thinking that we "should" be "better" "by now. Awareness and acknowledgement that we are human, that this is a normal thing to struggle with and that by taking action today I can have the tomorrow I want. 

Understanding that the expectations of others are often way below or way above where are at any given moment. Learning to become aware of how others expectations affect us can enable us to let go of the idea that we have to be anything other than who we are. That we ARE "enough".

4. Knowing that engaged action will take us from where we are to where we want to be

We can spend years...decades...a lifetime....wishing, wanting and talking about what we want - but never achieving the kind of change that can change our life. It is often when we stop talking about it that we finally do something about it.

Taking one action each day will get us to where we want to be tomorrow. Creating a plan on purpose is the beginning of shifting our wishes, dreams and desires from "some day..." to today. 

Not knowing where to start...makes it tough to start. Begin the day with remembering to live in awareness of the feeling of overwhelm as well as some new coping strategies.

A few tips to get you started on learning to live beyond overwhelm...

• Step back, don't say "yes" right away, always wait 3 days before making a commitment to a new idea or project, 
• Get honest with yourself. If you don't want to do something - make it ok to admit that instead of blaming someone else for your overwhelm. 
• Practice saying "no" in little ways to develop the confidence to say "no" to bigger issues. Saying "no. I'd like that table over there" at a restaurant is sort of a pre-requisite for being able to say "No. I'd rather see this movie" to an intimate relationship. 
• Recognize when you are falling into avoidance by picking a fight, "forgetting", getting "sick" or hurt in order to find an excuse to say "no". There is no shame and much power in choosing to live in conscious awareness of the subtle intent behind our actions. 
• Own up - when you catch yourself using old coping strategies like picking a fight and blaming others for your overwhelm.....first - admit it to yourself then apologize to the people involved."I was feeling really overwhelmed about coming over yesterday to help you paint and I took it out on you instead of telling you how I was feeling and that I really just wanted to stay home. I'd like to apologize for blasting you." (NOTE: This does NOT mean we have to stay around if the person involved starts chastising or shaming us instead of accepting our apology. It is ALWAYS ok to excuse ourselves from situations that feel bad)

Understanding that our current method of dealing with overwhelm are learned behaviors (responses to stress) AND that as such...

We can learn how to do it differently.

Now...

Go forth and rock your world:)

Show em what you've got....

Let a little light in....

And you'll light someone else's life a little:)

Always here,

Susan

This link is where you'll find some related posts on learning to let life unfold...naturally. Click here to go there. :) 

PS....

The "how" behind the journey is a learning process. Join us at the Facebook Community page here for the daily notes and get on the list here for upcoming events and news. 

PPSS...thanks for reading and please consider sharing:) 



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Love is....

"Love" is not sacrificing myself so others don't feel bad or struggle.

"Love" is being patient, kind and supportive of others when they are struggling or feeling bad.

If it hurts me - its not helping anyone.

What does this bring up for you? 

Leave a message in the comments below or drop a note at the Empowering Solutions Community page....

Go on...:)

It doesn't have to be eloquent, poetic or rhyming...

Although that would be pretty cool too:)

What does this post bring up for you?

Love is....




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perfection

Perfection lives only in that space between where we are and where we want to be.

It is that ideal where we have arrived and are finally enough.

The only problem?

Is that perfection is elusive.

It slips in through the whispers of those who are still seeking it...

And leaves devastation in its wake.

Perfection?

Is what is.

Is where we are

not where we've been

or where we are going.

It

simply

is.

You are in the perfect place.


It is the perfect time. 

And...

Its never


ever


"too late".

Why?

Because you are in the perfect place at the perfect time to become the creator of your perfect life.

The only hitch?

Is to learn that the only perfect time...

Is now.

I'll be here - holding your place in line....:)

Susan




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We are alone

Alone. And loving it:) 

We are alone.

This...was one of those "awakenings" I'd experienced.

You see....coming from the background I did (NOT "Ozy and Harriet style) I had always felt alone.

I never felt as though I "belonged" anywhere.

Not in my family, my community...

"Friends" were few and far between, if at all.

I considered myself a "loner" - sort of.

At other times I thought of myself as a "people person"...which was usually when I was writing my resume (had to be that chameleon:)).

Then one day a very wise person who had traveled this path before me said the most astounding thing - a thing I had never considered...

That we are ALL "alone".

And what I realized is that I was still stuck in the childlike place where I just wanted to be...

loved.

So I was thinking that because I didn't "feel" loved that I didn't "belong" anywhere.

I had carried that overwhelming lonliness from my childhood where I sat alone on the long davenport (yeah..back then a long couch was a "davenport"...for whatever that has to do with anything:)).

And in that second...that "aha" where I realized that I had been trying to create the "love" that I had not experienced in all the things I did, trying to do them "right enough".

Trying to "be" "good enough"....

Wishing to be "smart enough"...

And I was never...

enough.

So since that day of my "aha" moment?

I began to see that I was "enough".

That my best was "good enough".

That I wasn't just "smart enough" but I began to see myself as fricking "brilliant"....

Because of course - I'd survived.

And I realized that while I had learned to adapt and cope in ways that supported "survival"...

That was no  longer enough.

And I realized that by knowing that I was "alone" - just like everyone else in this world...

I no longer had to seek my worth, value and "belonging" in others because I...

very simply

was enough.

I knew from deep within that no matter what I had or didn't have...

The family or friends?

They could never "make" me feel as though I was "enough" to be accepted

but that I had to accept myself

and then

I would belong

anywhere I went.

In the light and hope for your to find your own forever "you"....

Susan

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Feelings....

From the Empowering Solutions page this past week...

Understanding and viewing anger as something to be managed, controlled or denied was not helpful to me and left me feeling shame for feeling angry at being abused and violated. Learning to view my anger from the perspective of informing my next steps freed me to feel empowered. Now a feeling of anger indicates not that I am needing to control this natural response but perhaps not be so tolerant of being mistreated.

Learning to listen to my feelings instead of "manage" them.....

Enabled me to also feel them instead of avoid them.

Yup!

I knew you'd get it!

In the light always!

Susan

Photo

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Where I was Free

Sunspot 2010

Today...try stopping for a moment and notice from within ie "consciously" ...how your body feels. Stretch up....breath in....let it out....this was the beginning of learning to see that "I" was separate from my experiences and other individuals. That my past no longer defined me but I became the designer of who I wanted to be. This was the beginning of knowing my truth; the place where I realized I was free.

I heart you....

Susan:) 

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From the Archives....Letting Life Unfold Naturally

Learning to let life unfold...
naturally:)

Sometimes I like to go back and revisit the archives....so today...a few posts on the idea of learning to live in acceptance and letting go of controlling the outcome...


From Sunday March 10, 2010....Choosing to Trust Life was an exploration into how learning to trust myself instead of being dependent on others empowered me to see that I could live in a place of ease. Learning to recognize how I was trying to influence and control others and other circumstances was the beginning of learning to recognize where my power truly lies.

Tuesday May 4, 2010....To Let Life Unfold....Naturally is a post about the awareness that in learning to let others control themselves and their destiny...freed me to control mine.


Sunday August 11, 2011...Looking for Happy in all the Wrong Places.... is a post telling the story behind how learning to let go...most often gave me what I was looking for all along.

Friday September 23, 2011...Learning to Let Life Unfold Naturally....Learning to see that it was my need to control people places and things that was the source of the constant drama in my life....is how I learned to let go.

Learning to "see" the things in me that kept me from a life of ease was the beginning of learning to let go and the result was that I could finally live.

Yup.

Getting a life....

Meant learning to let go of everyone else's:)

Uh hum....

Scary at first but....

This was one of those "truths"...

That set me free.

XOXO

Susan:)

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Learning to Live is Different than Waiting to Die

Newport Beach, California 2010

Learning to create my life from the inside out is THE most "em"powering lesson I learned.

In a nutshell:

First....I  AM powerless over things that exist outside of my physical body - people, places and things or circumstances that exist outside of my personal physical self and environment.

This includes other people....

The things they...

Think, do and say.

The way others express their own needs in the things they do and say - is outside of my control or influence.

 A helpful hint I found about putting this in perspective....

Keeping in mind that when someone begins a sentence with "You...." what they are saying is "I am feeling angry or afraid that this is outside of my control and I need to try to shape or influence what you are doing or saying to make myself feel safe". 

Huge life lesson for me and one I am still learning day by day.

The key was to learn to see this in myself that I could have compassion for those who couldn't see it at all.

Secone....I am NOT powerless over what I do think feel or say or...the story I tell myself about the things that are outside of my control. 

Which sort of flies in the face of those who for many years told me that I was actually powerless over my thoughts, feelings, moods, physical health, my body....

That something was "wrong" with me....not the abuse, neglect and emotional/psychological brainwashing that left me believing they were right. 

Yet - here I am today...no longer depressed, chronically dissociating, feeling fragmented, alone or isolated. 

Learning to listen to my inner world that I might create the outer world, life and circumstances that allows me to live and experience my "best life"...even when things aren't so good. 

The key here?

Learning to recognize that where others told me I was powerless, disordered and that my distress was chronic long lasting and unchangeable...

These individuals were often also profiting from my dependence on them in one way or another either directly or indirectly.

A key component in any abusive relationship is when someone says...

Something is wrong with you and you can't do this without me. 

That goes for family, friends and health care providers.

We always have a choice and any "provider" or person that encourages dependence?

Well...I lived in that place for nearly 20 years while under the influence of chemicals that inhibited my ability to think clearly or function in any capacity so ....ummm...I sort of have some prejudice about working with therapists and other "mental health" providers - but...this post about finding helpful help - might be helpful: How to tell an average therapist from a great therapist and see my post I am not a can of soup here to read about how I began to learn the language of life around re-defining who I chose to be...my "self". 

The life lesson? 

• I AM powerless over circumstances and situations that exist outside of my personal physical, emotional, environmental space

Which also means...

• I am NOT powerless over the environment I choose to create and where my physical, emotional and psychological "self" resides and....

The next life lesson?


Its up to me to create a place of safety for myself.

As a child - I had not choice, no resources, no escape.

As an adult...

Well....

If I'm still in unsafe environments where I'm still being put down, shut up, dismissed or abused in any way...

Then its up to me to learn to use the resources available to find my way to safety and understand that while that may have been my normal...


It is not healthy and I can learn to live beyond that place where I felt as though it was my responsibility to change who I was and tolerate being abused and otherwise mistreated in order to not be abandoned. 



Truth is....

While I still felt "childlike" and wished, hoped and dreamed for my "knight in shining armor"...

What I found...

Is that no one can rescue an adult. 


And...


That adults cannot be abandoned. 


We make choices to stay or to go. 


Abandonment "issues" are issues to be resolved and when they aren't - they are often recreated. 

Bottom line for me became understanding that the learned helplessness and fear of abandonment of the past fueled that sense of hopelessness as an adult that left me unable to see that I was truly the creator of my today and my tomorrow. 

I felt helpless to shape my "self" let alone my world or life experiences. 

It was in learning the language of life....

That I began to become the creator of...my life:) 

You may have been powerless - but are no longer. 

The key is to learn to identify that feeling powerless...

Is much different than being powerless.

Learning to live is different than waiting to die - which is where I was until I discovered that I held the power to become the creator of my "self" and my life. 

Language...can give life or create death. 

I lived the life of what I call the "living dead" for a very long time.

Today?

I choose life.

Won't you join me? 

It is possible to learn to claim our power, to become the creator of our own "best life".

What does your best life look like? 

If the past never happened...and all the ducks were in a row....

What would your life look like at the end of it? 

That is where we begin...

With the end in mind.

This is how we begin to let go of the past...

By learning how to create our future.

Uh huh!

Not rocket science for sure....

Not always easy either.

But damned sure worth it.

Welcome....to your life:) 

Always amazed at the light that surrounds you....

Susan:)

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

The Language Of Life

Weave your words to create the fabric of your life

Along the way I've picked up a few things that made the difference...

The biggest difference was made when I learned to recognize the language of life in contrast to the kind of dialog running in the back of my mind like the subtitle of a silent movie that left me feeling hopeless, helpless and powerless over my life.

One of the first things I learned and one of that last things I "got" ..

Was understanding the difference

Between feeling powerless

and

Being powerless.

Making the connection between my (then) today where I felt powerless

and that this was a normal response

to having actually

been powerless

in my past

was

well

HUGE.

This

I came to understand

was why

in my (then) today

I continued to

feel

powerless...

And this was not at all helped by all the helpful folks who kept reminding me 

just

how

powerless

I

really, really

was.

You know? 

Those groups where the first thing we have to admit to is being

powerless?

Then all the other well intentioned folk

the therapists

counselors

friends

family

who were telling me I was such a control freak and needed to 

let go. 


Telling me that I couldn't control everything, that I needed to accept life as it was...

but...

no one ever told me what I

did

have power over.

So I continued on

trying to do my best

do what I was told

trying to do it

right

only it never was

right enough.

And what I've discovered along the way is ...

that I could unveil

uncover

and activate

my 

power

by checking and challenging

the language I used

every day

all the time

that told me that I was

powerless.


And that while I was powerless over people places and things outside of myself

I held the power to become the creator of my life 

that I would no longer be a victim of life. 

So - thank you therapists, friends, family and those 12 step groups that mean well but 

to tell someone who has never owned their own intrinsic magical and mystical power

that they are

powerless

ya...

well..

not so helpful.

In order to learn to let go of the learned external controlling of people places circumstances and things....

which are the things I am powerless over

I had to discover how to own my own power.


In the end - the change came in choosing to move on to learning how to regulate my life from the inside out by 

changing my language from that of despair 

to that of design.


The language of life is where I learned to make the shift from "tell me what to do to be well so I can live well" to...

"I am well and can learn how to live".


Here's to you, you amazing beam of light and life!

You got the magic in you!

I'm beaming at your brilliance!

Susan:)

PS...

We may have been powerless.

We may feel powerless yet that is very different from actually being powerless.

Learning to speak and listen for the language of life became one of the truths that set me free.

Those who told or tell you that you are powerless....may actually believe that they too are powerless and are here only to be tossed in the storm of life, that its no use to try to "create" our life because we in the end are simply here to live until we die.

And while there are things that are beyond our control?

We are always in control of the story we tell ourselves about those things.

Uh huh:)

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No longer a victim and much more than a survivor

Become the Creator
of your own
"unlimited life"

A quick note today...


About the "aha"


That became the truth


That set me free. 

Like many others who were living a life of "less than"...

I subscribed to the idea that "support" was that place where I could vent

bitch

and moan

about my past

my pain

my today

yesterday

and tomorrow.

That just really

really

sucked.

And I lived there for what seemed 

forever.

And in time

I discovered that there is a time and a place for seeking "support" that actually supports my journey 

into

through

and out of the muck

instead of staying

stuck

in it.

Pouring my pain out day after day with no conscious effort to learn to live beyond it is what I identified in myself as being that "perpetual victim". **


Learning to take responsibility for creating my day included learning how to take responsibility for my life outcome.

Day by day.

Moment by moment.

It meant learning the difference between living in the mindset of  "blame" 

While letting go of the self blame and shame that fueled my self hatred and perpetuated my victimhood. 

Which I wore very welll...btw:) 

This is the place where I give responsibility to those who let me down 


And take responsibility for becoming the creator of my own "best" life.

Focusing on my pain, seeking sympathy in the guise of "support" kept me stuck and struggling for many many years. 

I'd been victimized - I was no longer a victim. 

I had survived - but wanted to live beyond survival. 

This is my passion today...

To share the truth that set me free and allowed me to become the creator of my "best life" vs the perpetual victim of life. 

The biggest lesson I learned about the emotional healing journey?

Is that its not about "fixing" what was broken

but about learning how to live.

This week...

Use your inner wisdom to guide you to a place where you are allowed to feel your pain and grow through it instead of staying stuck in it.

Thank the helpful friends who offer their sage advice and - find those who will allow you your voice. 

Seek comfort in compassion vs distraction.

Learning to sit with and go through our pain is how we grow beyond it. 

I'm sorry you suffered.

I'm sorry for the losses you experienced...

I feel angry knowing that there are many who have experienced RBT's* at the hand of those who were intended to love, honor and cherish...charged to nurture, guide and celebrate the life that lives in you.

And I'm so

so

so

grateful

You have chosen to share the journey.

We were powerless.

We are no more.

We can take back our todays

Create our tomorrows

And live the life we adore.

You've got the magic in you. 

Now...

Lights!

Camara!

Action!

You're on!

Let your light shine in the way you create your life.


It. Is. Never


"Too late".


Always there...

Susan

We can learn to live beyond the pain of the past and take back our tomorrows by the way we choose to live our today. 

True story:)

RBT's* = Really Bad Things (and I am so so sorry you or someone you know may have experienced RBT's) 

**(The opposite of of a constant focus on our pain is denying, avoiding and otherwise ignoring that I'm even in pain - listen in here for a story about that: Empowering Solutions on Blog Talk Radio with Heal My PTSD)

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Register for the Empowering Solutions news and updates here...

Living far beyond survival....

A day in my journey of self discovery
September 29 2010
Newport Beach California

Today a note from the Empowering Solutions Community page...

For those of us who grew up in chaos, dysfunction, neglect, abuse or other physcial psychological, emotional violations we can be stuck in survival mode.

This is where we are on constant lookout for the next "shoe to drop", ready to "fight", "flight" or "freeze".

We are working and putting out so much energy to survive because we never learned how to "live".

We often lack the life, coping and social skills that are the foundation of a healthy, interdependent "self" and life.

The empowering solution for me became learning to recognize "survival" mode and being able to step back from that while I learned the life and coping skills that would enable me to create my"self" and "get a life" that I so desperately wanted and deserved.

We were wounded and left unprepared yes; the good news is that we can learn to give ourselves today what we did not get in our yesterdays.

The journey is one of self-discovery, the finding of our "self" and the inner wisdom that allows us to know what to do when in our head and experience we have no clue what to do.

We can learn to no longer be a victim of life but the creator of our best life where we are survivors of bad things but no longer live only to survive.

If you would like to get the daily notes and posts in your own Facebook stream you are invited to come by, "Like" the Empowering Solutions Community page and join this growing community:) Get there by clicking here. 

Always grateful you choose to share your light and life with us here:)

May you live in mucho massive amounts of the magic today!

Susan

PS....Click here to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

Empowering Solutions at Blog Talk Radio....When Holidays Aren't Happy

Credit

This past past week was another Holiday....yet for SRBT's holidays aren't always happy and in fact can often be connected to our trauma experiences. 

From the Empowering Solutions page at Blog Talk Radio....

Too often Survivors of family dysfunction are left "holding the bag" so to speak. We have learned to "shut up and put up" with ongoing family drama that can quickly shift from uncomfortable to tension to subtle - or not so subtle - verbal or emotional or even physical abuse. 

Often we are left wondering whats "wrong" with us and we resort to isolation to avoid the pain of what the rest of the world views through the lens of Hallmark type happiness: the cards, the gifts, the fluff. This can serve only to make our sense of isolation and inadequacy seem amplified and reinforce the idea that if we aren't happy and joining in the festivities....that truly something IS wrong with us. 

Tune in for this special holiday edition for some em.powering solutions and discover how to write your own new ending to this type of fairy tale by learning to separate ourselves from our "normal" and know that its ok to create a new, healthy normal for ourselves. 

When Holidays Aren't Happy: Writing a New Ending! 

Listen to internet radio with Susanks on Blog Talk Radio

Listen in and follow Empowering Solutions on Blog Talk Radio here...www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringsolutions


Follow us at the Facebook Community page: www.facebook.com/empoweringsolutions


What are some of your empowering solutions for making holidays happier? How do you set yourself up for success and avoid the drama that can come up?

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

   
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Bring It!

Heres the deal.

Those of us who can identify as SRBT's* grew up in situations and circumstances that often left us...

Feeling "different"

Unprepared

As though we are "figuring things out" as we go

Stupid

Ignorant

Less than others

More than others

Powerful

Powerless

As though we don't have a clear sense of self and can become ...

A chameleon to situations and circumstances.

Some of us have unfortunately sought "help" only to be told we are 

diseased

Disordered

And in general....

Defective.

That our life sucks

Because we suck....

We aren't doing it right enough.

We aren't good enough.

If we tried harder..

Didn't try quite so hard.

Even todays new "trauma informed care" model is telling us very often that 

"Oh shit. You are broken forever and will never be more than you are and you are (fill in the blank)."

We walk away from this kind of "help" being brainwashed 

once more

by someone else's limited understanding and beliefs.

How do I know this?

Because I bought into this kind of "help"...

that really was not helpful

for a very long time.

And you know what I discovered?

Is that in their good intentions...

The ignorance of those who have not BTDT*...

(Or maybe they have been there but they have't done the work to resolve their own issues and now share their own limiting beliefs with others....)

Simply reinforced what I knew all along and had been told from the beginning of time...

That I was worthless, powerless and there was no hope for me.

That I was broken.

Defective.

Damaged goods.

And would be

Forever.

And it was only when I decided to no longer listen to those who had not BTDT and 


I began to listen to those who had traveled this path before me and emerged...

Not unscathed, mind you...

But emerged in their fullness, their power and 

owning the crap out of their power...

That I discovered the truth.

What was that truth?

My truth. 

Not "their" truth.

My truth.

The truth that set me free.

The truth that became the knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt....

That while I will never

ever

ever

be what I

could have been

had I not been

violated

abused

neglected...

I will always

ALWAYS

ALWAYS

be more than what those who told me I would never be more than what I had experienced.

You got it going on:)

Shake it off.

Thats it...


Bring it....


Own the crap out of your power...

Game on! 

You da bomb!

Susan


*SRBT's = Survivors of Really Bad Things (are the most amazing people on the face of the earth!)

*BTDT = Been There Done That:)


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

 

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The Missing Piece

I received this from a friend recently and since many of us are on such similar paths and seeking our own light and life....

I wanted to share with you:)



Here's to learning to bump, lift, pull and flop our way to a whole self and a whole life:)

You go! 

Susan

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth! 

 Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com  to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Self, Space, Things and Time

Photo Credit

Self.

Space and things.

Time.

Sounds sort of Star Trekky, don't you think?

Yet this, I've found, is what "life" is made of.

This is where "I" exist and how I move myself through my life - by creating a framework for my life from the inside out…

Where my "doing" is fueled by my "being"…

Instead of the "doing”…

That comes from a life lived from the outside

in.

This is the "how" behind becoming the creator of my life

Instead of that perpetual victim of life.

But - this is not what I've always known.

In fact...I experienced life like this for a long time...

Time.

Things.

Then space.

Then….

Self

Or lack of.

This is where my life was a place where I never had enough

time.

I wanted lots of things to fill my space and that took my time and

my

self

was never part of the equation.

I moved through my days chasing that elusive dream of

when I have the time

then I might have enough things

to fill my space

and finally

find

my

self

and thus

that ever elusive place of

Happily ever after.

The thing I've discovered though...

along the way from

there

to here...

Is that living my life like this...

Time...things....space......self

was a huge part of that feeling "less than" and "never enough".

Why?

Well...for starters...as we've talked of many times...this was my "normal".'

And my "normal" was definitely not "healthy" nor was it functional and in fact was a very dys-functional way of trying to exist as a part of the bigger world.

In fact in living my life from the

outside in

rather than the inside out...

I felt very much disconnected....

Apart from

not a part of...

that bigger world.

So in order to find a way to "be" and "be ok"...

I had to find a way to exist

from the inside out

instead of

the outside in.

"Being" is the beginning of "doing".

Yet - we live in a world that values "doing" above "being".

So while there is a reason why I felt broken

defective

different

and believed I was

disordered...

When I learned how to give my "self" a form and a function

that began from the inside out

that is when my outside started to be more a reflection of my

"self".

Learning the how behind healing myself from the inside out...

aka...

learning to own the things that made me "me"...

My thoughts, beliefs, feelings and yes, my body

and how all of these parts of me are connected

and make me

"me"

was the beginning of learning how to shape my life from the inside out

self-space-things-time

instead of the outside in

time-things-space-self

that had been my normal.

Today then....

If I can begin by engaging with my "center"...

aka knowing my "self"

by knowing and owning the things that make me "me"...

my thoughts,

my feelings,

mybeliefs and

my body

within the framework of my space and things

my time

will no longer consume me

but becomes that path I follow

where I find that that my "doing" is truly fueled by my "being".

Learning to discover my "self" was the beginning of discovering the meaning of "self" empowered living.

How did I discover my "self"?

By learning to listen to and own those things that made me "me"...

My thoughts, beliefs, feelings and body.

I know...its hard sometimes - especially when for so long I did not have ownership of these parts of me that made me "me".

So the place to begin was to begin learning about "me" and

asking what it was that "I" was thinking

what "I" believed

what "feelings" I was feeling in my body - and

what I wanted to do with all of that.

There is no "right" or "wrong" when it simply is....

And "it" is pretty awesome:)

Live long...

Live well...

and prosper:)

Susan


Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!